Posted on 05/23/2003 12:09:44 PM PDT by LdSentinal
Political analysts are giving first lady Sandy Wise's statement about her husband's affair an A-plus, saying it gives her husband some political breathing room.
But a family counselor says it's going to take more than words if the couple really is going to repair their marriage.
In her first public statement since allegations about her husband's relationship with a development office employee became public, the first lady said that while she was "very angry," she was committed to rebuilding their relationship.
"We still love and respect him for all the reasons we always have," Sandy Wise said in a written statement released Thursday on behalf of herself and the couple's two children, Robert Jr., 14, and Alexandra, 12. "Out of our love for one another, we are united in our determination to make our family whole again."
John Kohut, who covers gubernatorial politics for the Cook Report, a Washington-based political analysis publication, said Bob Wise "couldn't have asked for more."
"It's a great statement," Kohut said. "(Bob) Wise couldn't have asked for a better statement than that. It's exactly what he needed right now."
Kohut said the best thing about the statement from a political perspective was its straightforwardness. He said because Sandy Wise acknowledges her anger and her children's disappointment at the governor's failings, her pledge to stand by her husband seems more believable.
"The lingering factor in all this -- in how badly this whole scandal is going to affect him -- has been what (the first lady) is going to say," Kohut said. "I'd say this hits it just about right."
Politics aside, Charleston family counselor Elizabeth Conrad said Sandy Wise's statement reflects a woman who is ready to make the steps necessary to repair the couple's marriage.
"She's not making a statement out of an impulse," Conrad said. "She knew probably two weeks before the press did, so we're talking about more than a month. She's had some time to process this and think about what her ultimate goal is.
"And I think what the statement says is that she's already taken one of the most important steps -- she can separate his behavior from the love she has for him as a person."
Conrad often tells her clients that adultery is a forgivable sin, but warns true forgiveness and a rebuilt relationship are not easy.
"When you have an infidelity such as this one, one of the side effects is the death of the imagined relationship," she said. "All the myths that the couple was holding onto are gone. From now on it will be like a second marriage that has to be built and nurtured as a completely different entity."
Conrad said the Wises need to embark on a new courtship, where they learn about the people they actually are married to, rather than the images they've carried in their mind over the last 19 years.
"It takes great commitment from both parties -- and much more than just words," Conrad said. "They have to be willing to open their hearts and their eyes."
SANDY WISE STATEMENT
“Nineteen years ago, I married one of the most decent individuals I have ever met.
What caused him to stray from our marriage is an issue solely for us as husband and wife. It is not a topic that belongs to anyone else. Our family is very strong, and we are deeply committed to one another. The impact of this has not been insignificant.
I am very angry, and the children are disappointed in their father. But that has not changed how much we love him. We still love and respect him for all the reasons we always have. Out of our love for one another, we are united in our determination to make our family whole again.
I want to thank all the friends who have offered us words of kindness and support. Their thoughts and prayers have made us even stronger.”
Nice.
Now, here's the tricky thing: how do you separate behavior from the person? What "behavior," without a "behaver"?
Dan
So9
The Wise guy's off boffing some sweet young thing, and this Kohut comes along spewing like a color commentator about the political ramifications of Sandy Wise's statement.
I don't know which of these guys should be whipped first....
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