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I'm a year older than you, never married. I'm a recently retired Navy Officer, who thanks his stars every day that I did not settle down. If you are open to advice, I would first advise that you NOT write your wife a note. I have watched a few men do this, only to have it returned with Divorce filing papers when we were out at sea and there was nothing they could do about it.

If you want to eventually have a life, you are going to have to wait until your soby any mond 21 years of age to do so. You must avoid the courts by any means nessesary, except of course killing your wife. What you need to do, is mentally divorce yourself from the situation and do NOTHING to exascerbate things.

I would strongly suggest you take up Golf, or something that can keep you out of the house for long periods of time. Avoid sex with your wife, as it can be used against you in ways you cannot even imagine. Believe me; after living half of my life on Carriers, I have heard everything.

Even if your wife were to have an affair, you can do nothing. Just separate yourself mentally, and bide your time, until your son is gone from the home. Alimony is much more reasonable with grown, independant children, even if your wife doesn't work.

Women are not stupid; you cannot do anything that a lawyer could use against you down the road. Play a role of loving husband and father, dont complain about anything. Once you get into the court system, you can kiss your ass goodbye; even if you think it's worth it. Nothing is sadder than seeing a tough fighter jock reduced to tears in the ready room upon reading that his wife's boyfriend has moved into his home, and he has nowhere to come back to.

Keep the conversation to a minimum, smile, and wait a few years to make your move. With a minor child in your home, your wife can legally make the rest of your life a living hell. Good luck.

Taking advice from a "Pukin Dog" didn't show up on the top ten list from Letterman, but your are right on many fronts. Thanks for the advice. The wife and son are at the "kids" house now, and I decided to have a few drinks. The more "loose" I feel, the more I wanted to cry. I plan on hanging in there for 3 more years (NJ doesn't have alimony), but the more I think about it, it pains me to stay. Obviously, I won't make decisions with a few drinks going on, but emotionally, it sure lets my guard down.

Its really tough right now. BTW, I used to play golf alot. I play about 5 times a year now, nothing to write home about. At one point, I was playing in the low 80's. Those days are long gone. Fishing is my other outlet, but the weather has sucked here in Jersey, making things even more strained. Thanks agaon....GG