Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Police Report: June 5, 2003 (ROFLOL Alert)
ucsbdailynexus.com ^

Posted on 06/05/2003 12:50:50 PM PDT by chance33_98

Police Report: June 5, 2003

By Daniel Haier - Staff Writer Thursday, June 5, 2003

Stop, Drop and Run

Friday, May 30, 11:57p.m.: Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers at the intersection of Del Playa Drive and Camino Pescadero observed a 19-year-old man carrying a twelve-pack of Budweiser beer. Since he looked too young to be in possession of alcohol, an officer contacted the man to ask his age.

The suspect claimed he was 21, but could produce no identification. He then began backing away from the officers, at which point he dropped the package of booze and launched into a full sprint westbound on DP.

Officers gave chase, observing the man weave between and bump into other pedestrians as he tried to evade capture. The man pushed open a gate leading to the backyard of a residence on the 6600 block of DP, where he tripped and fell. After meeting the ground, the subject also met the pursuing officer, who detained him at gunpoint.

The man quickly told the officers he was in the U.S. Navy, and was afraid of getting in trouble since he had been told at his naval base the night before that he was prohibited to drink.

When police returned to the spot where the man had dropped the twelve-pack of beer, they determined that "bystanders must have carried it off."

Officers contacted the Navy to see if they wanted to pick the detained man up, but the Navy declined and recommended that police book him into the local jail. The officers were more than happy to oblige.

Got a Light?

Saturday, May 31, 12:50a.m.: An undercover IVFP officer noticed large amounts of smoke coming from the middle of the street on the 6700 block of DP. Upon arriving at the scene, the officer determined the smoke was billowing from a flaming couch and mattress that had been piled in the roadway.

While watching the blaze, the officer observed a 19-year-old man walk out to the fire carrying a 12 ounce can of Keystone Light and a large piece of wood, which he threw onto the fire. The man also attempted to light his cigarette in the flames, but was unsuccessful given their size and abundance.

Recognizing that a can of beer and a piece of wood make dismal fire-fighting tools, the officer came to the conclusion that the man's actions were making the situation worse - possibly intentionally. The officer grabbed the man and placed him in handcuffs. He was booked into the county jail where his failure to grasp basic concepts of fire fighting could no longer scorch the asphalt.

Your Name is What?

Saturday, May 31, 6:18p.m.: Officers responded to a report that a 34-year-old man was causing a disruption at The Study Hall on the 6500 block of Pardall. When officers arrived, they observed a man staggering toward the bar's entrance. He was not wearing a shirt and was swearing loudly at other patrons.

Officers approached to determine why the man was so agitated, but before they could ask, the man greeted them with a hearty "what the f--k do you want?"

Police noted a strong odor of alcohol from the man's breath and person. An employee from the bar told the officers the man had been refused drinks due to his level of intoxication, and that he had thrown a glass full of beer against a wall.

The man was arrested for pubic intoxication after several more minutes of unintelligible shouting. Once at the IVFP interview room, the suspect continued cursing at deputies and kicking the interview room door. When asked his name, the man replied with "f--k you, a--hole," which did not correspond to the name printed on his driver license.

He refused to answer any further questions, but had no objection to kicking the car cage and screaming obscenities during his transportation to jail.

Cooperative, Too Cooperative

Saturday, May 31, 11:56p.m.: Officers patrolling the 6500 block of DP observed a 20-year-old man holding a white plastic keg cup and standing in the street talking with friends. Officers contacted the man regarding his open container and asked for his age. Liar Lewis stated he was 23 years old.

Officers asked Lewis to sit on the curb while they confirmed his identity and wrote him a citation for possession of an open container of alcohol. Lewis produced a driver license that did indeed prove his name and age, and he clearly enunciated the last four digits of his social security number. The officer noted that "this was not the usual type of cooperation [he] would get from a college student receiving a citation." However, the officer also noticed there were "subtle differences" between the picture on the license and the face of Liar Lewis.

Remembering that the wallet Lewis took his driver license from was quite thick with other types of cards, the officer asked to see an alternative form of identification. The officer asked if Lewis had anything at all in his wallet that had his name on it, to which Lewis initially said yes, but then quickly corrected himself and said no.

Lewis refused to give the officer his wallet, resulting in a struggle that brought in a second officer to subdue the liar and place him in handcuffs.

In the wallet, officers found a second driver license that more closely matched Liar Lewis' face, in addition to a UCSB identification card and an SBCC identification card - all of which had the subject's real name.

Once in custody, the subject admitted to providing false identification because he had heard from a friend, who had visited I.V. before, that the police do not care what people do here as long as they are over 21. Hindsight can sure be a bitch sometimes.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: California
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021 next last
The man was arrested for pubic intoxication after several more minutes of unintelligible shouting. Once at the IVFP interview room, the suspect continued cursing at deputies and kicking the interview room door. When asked his name, the man replied with "f--k you, a--hole," which did not correspond to the name printed on his driver license.

LOL!

1 posted on 06/05/2003 12:50:51 PM PDT by chance33_98
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
His mother had to know that that name was going to give her child nothing but trouble as he got older.
2 posted on 06/05/2003 12:54:40 PM PDT by dead
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LadyShallott
ping
3 posted on 06/05/2003 12:58:33 PM PDT by chance33_98 (www.hannahmore.com -- Shepherd Of Salisbury Plain is online, more to come! (my website))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
Should this have a "hold muh beer" alert?
4 posted on 06/05/2003 12:58:42 PM PDT by El Laton Caliente
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dead; chance33_98
His mother had to know that that name was going to give her child nothing but trouble as he got older.

LOL!

I went to college at UCSB. This area was known to be THE place that you lived in or went to if you wanted to drink and act like a typical college kid. It must have been a very slow night in always politically correct Santa Barbara.

5 posted on 06/05/2003 1:03:30 PM PDT by LadyShallott
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
Seems the 6500-6700 block of "DP" is a busy area. Appears almost all the reports are from this area.

6 posted on 06/05/2003 1:04:14 PM PDT by technomage
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
What a wonderful job the cops did, keeping the world safe from adults carrying beer!
7 posted on 06/05/2003 1:11:35 PM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Everyone knows you can't have a successful conspiracy without a Rockefeller)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Squawk 8888
And sad to think this young sailor was old enough to spend the last several months at war but not allowed a beer.
8 posted on 06/05/2003 1:17:10 PM PDT by marlon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
"f--k you, a--hole,"

The cops were very lucky. It seems they arrested the Terminator.

9 posted on 06/05/2003 1:17:28 PM PDT by MattinNJ
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: El Laton Caliente
Should this have a "hold muh beer" alert?

Or a "dropped muh beer" alert for the first story.

10 posted on 06/05/2003 1:22:11 PM PDT by Allegra (Surgeon General's Warning: Liberalism is Bad for Your Health, Brain Cells and Bank Account)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
Good thing his name wasn't Butt Fluck.
11 posted on 06/05/2003 1:25:19 PM PDT by DeathfromBelow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
This is COMPLETE SLANDER! I would NEVER drink Keystone beer.

If it were me, that is. Which it wasn't. I can explain about the couch...

12 posted on 06/05/2003 1:27:00 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Squawk 8888
Officers patrolling the 6500 block of DP observed a 20-year-old man holding a white plastic keg cup and standing in the street talking with friends.

Heinous criminals like this probably need to be publicly executed. Thank you, officers for making the country safe for democracy!

13 posted on 06/05/2003 1:28:25 PM PDT by circles
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Billthedrill
This is COMPLETE SLANDER! I would NEVER drink Keystone beer.

But at $10 a case, how can you go wrong!

14 posted on 06/05/2003 1:29:58 PM PDT by circles
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98; Poohbah; Larry Lucido; Cap'n Crunch; general_re; BlueLancer; hellinahandcart; ...
Recognizing that a can of beer and a piece of wood make dismal fire-fighting tools, the officer came to the conclusion that the man's actions were making the situation worse - possibly intentionally. The officer grabbed the man and placed him in handcuffs. He was booked into the county jail where his failure to grasp basic concepts of fire fighting could no longer scorch the asphalt.
15 posted on 06/05/2003 1:30:03 PM PDT by dighton
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Billthedrill
A buddy of mine used to brag about how his university (unofficially) "won" honors from Keystone (multiple years, I believe) for drinking the most of that brand anywhere in the US. And that was about the biggest accomplishment he could come up with, which will show you what an education is worth at Western Illinois University, for all you juniors and seniors in high school. (By the way, it only took him 9 years to almost get his Bachelor's degree).
16 posted on 06/05/2003 2:07:05 PM PDT by D. Brian Carter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: circles
But at $10 a case, how can you go wrong!

By putting the stuff in your mouth. I can get a better buzz off a 1/2 gallon growler of India pale ale for 7.00 than a case of that swill!
17 posted on 06/05/2003 2:44:44 PM PDT by AdA$tra (Tagline maintenance in progress......)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98
The man was arrested for pubic intoxication

He sounded more than a hair drunk to me. He may beat this rap.

18 posted on 06/05/2003 2:53:53 PM PDT by blau993 (Labs for love; .357 for Security.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LadyShallott
I went to college at UCSB. ... It must have been a very slow night in always politically correct Santa Barbara.

I went there too, a long time ago. Some things never change, it seems.

19 posted on 06/05/2003 5:30:08 PM PDT by Eala ("Here in France I feel at home." --Madonna. So go already.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: chance33_98; dighton
When asked his name, the man replied with "f--k you, a--hole,"

I was working missing persons for Dallas PD in 1991. Unbeknownst to me, one of my missing adults had been arrested for public intoxication or something, and since he had no ID he was booked in as "Howard the Duck," the name he gave to the officers.

Well, I wasn't looking for Howard the Duck, at least not by that name, so I never knew my missing person was actually lodged in Dallas County Jail. Days later, his relatives finally sprung him and complained to the media, and the Dallas Morning News called me for a comment. All I had to say was "Well, if he hadn't lied about his name, I'd have located him a couple days ago." My wife doesn't think I came across with much compassion.

20 posted on 06/05/2003 6:27:25 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson