Make Up Your Own New York Times Story! (the Village Voice is even kicking them)

Village Voice ^ | 6/10/03 | Brian Parks

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Pick one selection for each blank.

BYLINE: By _____________________________

1. Your name
2. Rick Bragg
3. Walter Winchell

DATELINE: ____________________________

1. LOS FRESNOS, TX
2. THE SILVER HILL CLINIC
3. ATLANTIS

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg gave an impromptu press conference yesterday afternoon. Standing on the City Hall steps, looking out over __________________,

1. tobacco fields and cow pastures
2. pretty Jewish girls from The New York Times
3. a throng of uncredited stringers

... the Mayor said he supported raising the subway fare to _______________.

1. $2.
2. a cinnamon-raisin bagel.
3. one of those nice fax machines from the Styles section.

Standing next to the Mayor was _______________________

1. Lee Malvo
2. some fine Metropolitan Club poon-poon
3. the cast of The Thunderbirds

... as well as New York Times publisher ___________ Sulzberger.

1. Punch
2. Pinch
3. Paunch

Bloomberg announced further cuts to the fire department. He’s hoping to save money by _______________________.

1. buyouts
2. a citywide “controlled burn”
3. slaughtering dalmatians

The Mayor also cited increased city costs due to stepped-up police patrols and _______________.

1. bridge security
2. factcheckers
3. radiation detectors for Plimpton’s table at Elaine’s

The Mayor had just returned from a wedding banquet that featured a main course of _______________.

1. lobster
2. humble pie
3. civet cat

It was the second time the Mayor backpedaled on his promise not to officiate weddings, the first being when he married former mayor Rudolph Giuliani and ________________.

1. Regina Peruggi
2. Donna Hanover
3. Judy Nathan

Speaking on other matters, the Mayor defended the police department in the aftermath of the recent deaths of a Harlem woman and ___________________.

1. an African merchant
2. Princess Margaret
3. the career of a promising young reporter.

Bloomberg also repeated his support for WTC architect Daniel Liebeskind, praising his _____________________.

1. design for an uninsurable building
2. Jayson Blair-esque flair for the dramatic
3. nice glasses

[martin_fierro]

Heh.

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Not an all-time classic, but I did laugh out loud at the "citywide controlled burn" comment.

[Liz]

ROTFLMCO......and the funniest is that it all sounds plausibly New York Time-ish.

[mass55th]

Does anyone out there remember "Mad Libs?" I can't remember what program they were originally on (Steve Allen show perhaps?), or were they a separate program of their own? Whatever, they were a riot. It was usually played with a group of people. There would be a story already written with specific lines of the story left blank. Each blank space would ask for a certain type of word, and one person would ask the group for a noun, pronoun, verb, exclamation, etc. The words provided by the players would then be written in the blank spaces of the story. Once all the spaces had been filled, someone would then read the full story and everyone would be rolling in the aisles.

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Play here:

http://www.madlibs.org/