[connectthedots]

I am a middle-aged Christian man, so I have no dispute with the idea of not having sex outside of marriage.

I have lots of comments, but the first thing that struck me is Ms. Carson does not say how she met her husband and what happened during their courtship. Also she and her husband did not seem to know each other very long prior to marriage and having only been married for a very short time, she hardly has experienced enough to really know if she ought to be considered an authority on dating.

Her problems with dating seem to be more related to not dating smart rather than not dating. If aperson isn't dating smart, I can see why not dating at all would be better until one learns how to do it right.

[Aliska]

If aperson isn't dating smart,

How does one date smart?

Unless you are an agressive female who goes after what she wants (which traditionally isn't ladylike - you're "chasing" them), you wait to be asked. You don't like to hurt people and reject them. The one you are attracted to doesn't ask you. Someone you are not attracted to asks you. You go out with them to see if maybe you might like them anyway and you don't want to reject them without a chance, plus otherwise you will have to find something else to do which isn't what you really want to do. You don't like being with them which you figured you wouldn't going in. You have to reject them and/or they have to reject you. Then you feel guilty.

Then the cycle starts all over again unless you get lucky.

If you are a little on the plain-but-not-ugly-and-fat-but-a-real-nice-person side, sometimes you rarely or never get asked out on dates anyway.