Farmers to be taxed on livestock flatulence (New Zealand's Global Warming Wackos Alert)

N.Z.P.A. ^ | 20 June 2003

[DannyTN]

"So, if the farmers allow their cows to actually take a dump, does that mean firing squad at dawn?"

I think it means "Fire up the barbeque boys, before the revenuers get here."

[PeaceBeWithYou]

Fling the cow flash game

[shaggy eel]

So, if the farmers allow their cows to actually take a dump, does that mean firing squad at dawn?

,,, strange you should mention that. That's another issue. Kiwi farmers are being told to prepare to fence around streams for this very reason. Couple this to the fart tax and we've got something a bit more clever and quieter than Robert Mugabe driving people off their farms.

[DannyTN]

"strange you should mention that"

I don't understand. Kiwi farmers are being told to fence to prevent cows from dumping on their land? Is that a risk somehow to Kiwi's? Do Kiwi's fall to the ground and get contaminated by e-coli or something?

[gc4nra]

"Livestock accounts for about half of New Zealand's total greenhouse gas emissions."



Orally flatulent liberal politcians account for the other half!

[shaggy eel]

,,, New Zealand might as well be writing the book on political correctness. We've got a government funded obsession with being safe. The Labour government doesn't get it's votes from farmers and now Labour is making them pay for it. Intelligent politicians know that somewhere in the region of 60% of our export receipts are generated from primary produce - or derivitives. Who's going to pay for the state of the art welfare system? Answer: the soon to fall middle class. Welcome Karl Marx! The meat we export only pays the medicine bill. We're in big trouble here.

[curmudgeonII]

If we were to tax the hot air that animals produce in ths country just think of how much money we could get out of Democrat politicians.

[DannyTN]

"I wonder if this is the sort of environmental Bravo Sierra that Rachel Carson intended with her book; "Silent Spring".

No, but it might be the sequel, "Silent but Deadly Spring"

[Bernard]

"Catch the flatulence in bags..."

Sounds like a great working title for the next Michael Moore film. Or a tag-line for This Week, with George Stuffinenvelopes...

[johniegrad]

Oh, Shaggy, this is pathetic. Global warming is a tenuous theory at best. The relationship of man made impacts on the tenuous theory is even more questionable. Your government is actually going to levy taxes against some of your most productive citizens on very shaky data. This is absolutely crazy.

BTW, as I continue to view your real estate pages for future purchases, I also watch the financial markets waiting for the best opportunities to buy. The NZD is up from .42/USD last summer to nearly .58/USD this summer. Are you able to export anything anymore? And then, this atrocity on your agricultural exporters!! Oh, my.

[shaggy eel]

,,, Klark has an agenda, so does Mugabe. They're from the same school.

[SuziQ]

Are they going to creat a new govt. ministry, the Ministry of Flatulence? Will the people who work there go out and count animal farts all day? I don't think I'd want that job.

[this_ol_patriot]

"That's overkill." Meat New Zealand chairman Jeff Grant said. "This is a public good rather than an industry good. It should be funded by the Government not farmers."

Does this fellow believe that government money is a separate entity from public money? Does he think that the government just prints the money to fund government programs with no cost to the citizens? Is this the reason that socialists keep getting elected in these countries? Can someone be that stupid?

[DannyTN]

"Catch the flatulence in bags..."

I was thinking the Democratic National Convention, but I don't think bags would be sufficient.

[Budge]

...we probably have already paid some stupid liberal probably associated with PETA through a grant to measure this so that our beef could be taxed.

Being a very non-scientific person, let me see how this mightv be accomplished.

Liberal PETA tester sneaks up behind the cow. Peta tester has an ample supply of un-inflated plastic bags and a large roll of duct tape.

Said tester surreptitiously tapes numbered plastic bag over cow's behind, almost diaper-like.

(Gawd, I need a picture of this...Registered, one of you talanted people?)

The next day PETA POOT TESTER returns, removes numbered bag and sends it to the PPTL (PETA POOT TESTER LAB) to determine exact ammount of gaseous content. There, the flatulance is seperated from the poop...

I can't go on with this!!! My mind is starting to get jelly-like!

[shaggy eel]

,,, in using the term public good, Jeff Grant is quietly slipping the knife into New Zealand's socialist government. He's suggesting that the government foots the bill for this initiative as it's the saboteur wanting to implement it for everyone else's [perceived] advantage except the farmers and the NZ economy. Watch this space, we're about to become the Albania of the south Pacific.

[DannyTN]

"Are they going to creat a new govt. ministry, the Ministry of Flatulence? "

It seems at the very least, they need a Department of Flatulence.

Make your check payable to "Department of Flatulence Revenue"

[John Valentine]

If Kiwis REALLY want to tax flatulence, I mean really tax the true gasbags, they would enact a confiscatory tax of say $100 per political gas pass in the halls of Parliament.

[Sub-Driver]

Umm, Ed? Was that a Clydesdale?

(Old joke...........for those of you who used to watch Johnny Carson)

[DannyTN]

"Jeff Grant is quietly slipping the knife into New Zealand's socialist government"

Either that or he could just pull their finger and then tax them for it.