Merchant spanks boy for teaching parrot profanity

World Net Daily ^ | 7/9/03 | Staff

[Paul Ross]

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Wednesday, July 9, 2003

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WEIRDNETDAILY
Merchant spanks boy for teaching parrot profanity
Man faces 60 days in cage for disciplining child over fowl language

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Posted: July 9, 2003
5:12 p.m. Eastern

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© 2003 WorldNetDaily.com

(WCNC-TV)

A flap over a cursing parrot is giving new meaning to flipping the bird as a store owner is accused of spanking a boy he claims was teaching his pet profanity.

William Soper, 64, of Statesville, N.C., faces a misdemeanor charge of assault after whacking a 9-year-old child who was not his son.

"God, I'd get child abuse at home, but he can get away with that?" the boy's mother, Sheree Bustle, told the Charlotte Observer. "If you've got a problem with a kid abusing a bird, he could've handled it differently."

Bustle was not inside the Clock World store at the time of the incident when her two sons talked to Sparky the parrot, perched in an outdoor cage belonging to the shop owner.

Soper says he was fixing clocks when he heard squawking and repeated shouts of an expletive.

'F' is for fowl language (WXII-TV)

"I said its name 30 million times, and it said it back, and it said hello and all this stuff, and then it automatically said the F-word," Chris Bustle, 12, told the Observer, admitting he did egg the bird on.

That's when Soper, who claims Sparky had never previously uttered any fowl language, grabbed 9-year-old Matthew by the shirt, smacked his bottom and told the boys to leave if they couldn't behave.

"My feet were just kicking, trying to get away," Matthew told the paper, saying he was scared but not hurt.

"I think I can protect my property against vandalism, as long as I don't use a gun," Soper said. "A pop on the bottom is non-lethal."

He says the boys were spitting on Sparky, and adds protecting his $13,000 pet justifies the spanking.

"I think if they're old enough to be roaming the streets by themselves, they're old enough to be punished," he told the Observer.

Soper faces a court hearing Monday, with the possibility of a fine and up to 60 days in the county cage.

Though he hasn't heard a repeat of the obscene language from Sparky, he's not sure about the future since parrots don't erase often-heard words.

"It's worse than graffiti," he said. "You can't wash it out."

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[steveo]

I have two. No sleeping in and plenty of noise near dusk. They're fun, but it's like having an eternal 3yr
old in your house if you can imagine that.

[xm177e2]

$13,000 bucks for a bird? That's worth more than the kid!

[Sabertooth]

maybe $2400-3500 if hand hand tame and sweet. A Hyacinth Macaw will bing $8K to $10K...

Yeah, definitely not as spendy as a Hyacinth. I was able to find greenwings in the web for $1200 to $1500, but I'm not sure if they were hand-raised. Looks like the reporter slipped a decimal with the $13,000 figure.

Still, not a cheap bird, and I'd be more than a little irked if someone had taught my expensive and long-lived pet to say the F-word. It's vandalism.

[beelzepug]

Ah, but a fine Norwegian Blue, priceless!

[freekitty]

I want to know where the mother was? Was she using the store as a babysitter?

[Sabertooth]

 
Dead Parrot Sketch

The cast:

     MR. PRALINE
          John Cleese
     SHOP OWNER
          Michael Palin

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The sketch:

     A customer enters a pet shop.

     Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

     (The owner does not respond.)

     Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

     Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

     Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

     Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

     Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

     Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

     Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

     Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

     Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

     Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

     Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

     Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

     Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
     show...

     (owner hits the cage)

     Owner: There, he moved!

     Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

     Owner: I never!!

     Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

     Owner: I never, never did anything...

     Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

     (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

     Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

     Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

     Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

     Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

     Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
     ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

     Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

     Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

     Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

     Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
     first place was that it had been NAILED there.

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
     VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

     Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

     Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

     Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
     rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
     bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
     we're right out of parrots.

     Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

     Owner: I got a slug.

     (pause)

     Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

     Owner: Nnnnot really.

     Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

     Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

     Mr. Praline: Well.

     (pause)

     Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

     Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

[Dan from Michigan]

The merchant should get a fine and civil infraction.(no jail or misdemenor/felony charge). He should have asked the boys to leave and/or call the parents. He should not have lain a hand on him.

If I was a kid and a (male) non parent put a hand on me, I would defend myself in any manner that is appropiate.

[gitmo]

If the bird starts cussing, and some kid hears it, the shop owner is going to have to spank the bird.

Good thing it's not a monkey!

[shaggy eel]

I know parrots and $13k for a bird is way outta lion.

,,, maybe the parrot knows some tricks that make it worth the money.

[janetgreen]

I see nothing wrong with a bird speaking FOWL language...

[shaggy eel]

I can still remember the taste of soap when, as a child, I slipped in an inappropriate word at the dinner table. The punishment for that faux pas was swift and well remembered. I never did that again.

,,, isn't that amazing? So many capable parrots and none of them know what soap tastes like. Clearly, you're a disadvantaged species. Someone at the UN will want to hear from you now.

[Xenalyte]

Well, $*%! me.

[Xenalyte]

A $13K bird or a sense of mischief?

[shaggy eel]

,,, choke the parrot BUMP!

[joesnuffy]

The mother should have to buy the bird $14,000...
The bird cannot be sold to anyone but some moron who enjoys hearing (fowl) foul language
making it worth less...
Apparently the birds dont unlearn words...easily
Pretty much malicous damage to his property
He did the mom a big favor by disciplining her kids
naturally she will probably sue him for damage
Sick world we live in...in the old days parents did not mind when their kids were disciplined by well meaning adults...
It was considered a duty of polite society once upon a time

[Wallace T.]

Not only did the boy deserve a whipping, so does his mother. Human debris of this sort are a major cause of the decline of what used to be called common decency.