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It is in the breaking news sidebar!
Posted on 07/12/2003 10:35:52 AM PDT by John Jorsett
Hey, get this. I thought we'd talk about the nine Democrats running for the presidency. I wanna get this commentary in now before this über neuftet quickly goes the way of the Tucker.
You know, the good thing about an empty-headed scrum is that nobody can actually suffer brain damage if they get kicked in the melon, and, trust me, when these guys get together it's like a Pez dispenser seance.
Al Sharpton's ramblings have now taken him so far afield somebody better install an OnStar button in the middle of his forehead.
Dennis Kucinich? Hey, even a stopped brain is right twice a day.
I don't even know who Carol Moseley Braun is, but after seeing her on tv, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know either.
You know, it was predestined that John Kerry would run for the presidency, since his features are so chiseled you could put his actual skull on Mount Rushmore. Kerry's an Easter Island statue in a power tie.
John Edwards is just a poorly-drawn John Grisham character.
Joe Lieberman? I never thought you'd hear this coming out of my pie-hole, but he's no Gore.
They say that Bob Graham keeps an amazingly detailed journal of his day-to-day life. That's got to make a Maytag product manual read like Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
Now, Dick Gephardt's recent Al Haig-like overreach, where he said that as President he would start countermanding Supreme Court decrees -- it's important because it encapsulates the fatal flaw of eight of the nine in this once-in-a-lifetime assemblage of blather: when it's time to be a tough guy, they don't really know how. So they lurch into a clumsy approximation of Bogart that ends up ringing Mondo hollow.
And that brings us to Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, who would like nothing better than to mallet a maple syrup tap into the U.S. treasury and spot-weld the valve wide open. Dean can roll up his sleeves in public all he wants, but as long as that heart tattoo with Neville Chamberlin's name in it is visible on his right forearm, he's never going to get off the pad. Please, please nominate Howard Dean. Because he'll get his ass handed to him quicker than somebody who just got outpatient liposuction surgery.
Well, that's the view from the kid's table. Tune in and watch their next debate. The Dems say it's a big tent, and you'll be surprised how many clowns they can fit in that one little car. Got that? I'm Dennis Miller.
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What an excellent image! LOL!
Somewhere on the road to Bagdad, he was struck down and the blinding light of truth seared his mind. He became a preacher of the republican gospel. Like a recently quit smoker extolling the virtues of not smoking, Dennis Miller is out there lay ing it on.
I for one almost don't believe it.
Dang. Didn't catch that spelling error. It was the keyboard. The 'a' key wasn't working. Yeah, that's the ticket.
I know this is funny, but I had to look up who Gabriel Garcia Marquez was. And I thought I was well read. Dang!
This was just replayed on Fox News a few minutes ago. Priceless!
I heard this last night and about laughed my a$$ off.
I don't believe it at all. He's not expressing his opinion, he's expressing your's because he's trying to sell something, namely himself.
Fox should not put something like that on their station. Some of us may think it's great to hear the other side from a media station, but FOX is just becoming a conservative Al Jazera, and one day when you need facts, you won't be getting it from them. Just because one agrees with the angle doesn't make it news.
I've found myself back in search of a station that will provide facts, not opinion and spin. Needless to say its an impossible quest it seems.
He reminds me lately of Michael Savage: a guy who was on the left, got burned (or saw some things that changed his mind), and has become a darling on the right. If Savage had used some Milleresque humor with that caller who ticked him off-- instead of just flatly saying he should die-- he'd still be on TV.M
However, I think the day is coming when Miller will be skewering figures on the right again. I'm still waiting for him to give Al Franken a smackdown.
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