NASCAR to Create Separate Racing Leagues for Blacks, Women (and anyone else who complains)

www.BSNN.net ^ | Dred Locke and John W. Albanese

[CFC__VRWC]

They need a Muslim League too..

They can't - PETA would whine about how the camels were being exploited.

[honeygrl]

I'm sure we can figure out a way to add a bash for any racial/religious/whatever group we can think of. :) (see my terrible muslim comment above)

[MetalHeadConservative35]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Your pic of the womens' division pileup is missing all the makeup compacts, lipstick tubes and cellphones scattered around.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

The senior division would consist of several 1983 Dodge Aries K cars, weaving from side to side around the track at 20 miles an hour with the left blinker on....

[Conspiracy Guy]

All the course could be road courses through city and residential areas. Big dang Cadillacs with Blue Hair and White knuckles looking through sterring wheel for Senior Ladies. And bald head left hand flipping you off hanging out window for Senior men. Most of the races would be held around Miami.

[searchandrecovery]

How about teenagers? Let them drive stock toyota's, honda's, chevy's (like their parent's cars) at high speed, while drinking beer, around tracks with all the things that attract their cars on prom night?
Like - hairpin turns, trees, telephone poles, concrete barriers. Good fun.

[rabidralph]

The senior division would consist of several 1983 Dodge Aries K cars, weaving from side to side around the track at 20 miles an hour with the left blinker on....

Don't forget the heavyweight division for Buick Roadmasters and Cadillac DeVilles.

[searchandrecovery]

How about a religious league? There would be an equal number of cars from the major religions (say, Muslim, Jew, Christian). The Arab cars would of course contain explosives; the Jewish driver would have an AK-47; the Christian cars would carry the power of forgiveness.
For the most part, the Arabs and Jews would tend to take each other out, leaving the Christians to take the checkered flag.
However, NASCAR wants to be a global sport, so the infield would consist of a reasonable facsimile of the United Nations, which would vote on the outcome of the race. Specifically, points would be added or subtracted for things like - environmental impact, crew diversity, affirmitave action, gender issues, support for gay agenda, etc. A vote would be taken, and the winner decided.
Good fun.

[billbears]

"There's just one problem," NASCAR chairman and CEO Bill France Jr. told BSNN. "We're afraid them Latinos will have a hard time starting their cars, and we're not sure anyone is ready to watch a bunch of them Asians run around a track at 25 miles per hour with their turn signals flashing."

Bill France funny bump!!

Personally I don't know what Shakedown is upset about. Willie T Ribbs still races the truck series if I'm not mistaken

[#3Fan]

Since most of the drivers and fans of the current Nascar series are Republicans, Nascar needs a Democrat series. In the new Democrat Series the winner of each race won't necessarily be the guy who crosses the checkered flag first, but instead will be determined by 9 people consisting of retired judges from New Jersey and Florida. There are all kinds of potential scenerios with this system. For instance, it's possible the winning driver wouldn't even have to run the full 500 miles, he can come in and run just 100 miles and be declared the winner. Pit crews will consist of 16 men instead of eight. Eight to work on the car and eight lawyers to constantly plead their case to the judges during the race. This series will run on CBS and ABC exclusively.

[Old Professer]

There goes what's left of the Ozone Layer.

[stainlessbanner]

BET and Oxygen are competing for NASCAR TV coverage

[goliath]

Now that's a scary thought

[StriperSniper]

BTTT(Back To The Track ;-)