"You know what I want to hear."
"No, I don't."
"You played it for her, you can play it for me."
"Well, I don't think I can remember -"
"If she can stand it, I can. Play it."
Posted on 07/28/2003 4:08:48 PM PDT by Willie Green
For education and discussion only. Not for commercial use.
LAWRENCE, Kan. - Scientists have confirmed what many cross-country motorists long have suspected: Kansas is flatter than a pancake.
A study published recently in the tongue-in-cheek Annals of Improbable Research compares the geography of Kansas to that of a griddle cake purchased at International House of Pancakes.
"Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake," wrote the researchers from Southwest Texas State University and Arizona State University.
Blame Brandon Vogt, a doctoral student at Arizona State University, for the topic. Three researchers were eating breakfast when the talk turned to how flat their pancakes really were.
Vogt suggested comparing the pancake to Kansas. While a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder, Vogt made frequent trips across the state on Interstate 70 to visit friends in Columbia, Mo.
"It's flatness — there's nothing to see, nowhere to stop," Vogt said.
The researchers used a confocal laser microscope to map the terrain of a flapjack. And then, they compared that data to elevation data for Kansas from the U.S. Geological Survey.
The researchers discovered the pancake is much bumpier than it first appears.
Not everyone is buying into the research.
"My guess is you could put Colorado in there, the way they're calculating it, and it would be flatter than a pancake," said Lee Allison, director of the Kansas Geological Survey. "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot."
My brother worked a winter in the midwest years ago...being from the foothill area of California, he got a kick out of how the locals there would break out their slalom skis when a dog pooped and it snowed shortly thereafter...
Actually the area is fairly hilly although obviously not mountainous.
I suspect the lowest point in Kansas is higher than that.
I once lived in Dodge City, and there is some contour even on the plains. In fact less than 30 miles N of Dodge is some very pretty country around Jetmore.
Dooya know why Kansas can never win at football?
The state's so damn flat that when the Nebraska recruiters jack up the northern edge of the state looking for any Cornhuskers who might've fallen through the crack, all the football players roll south into Oklahoma.
"You know what I want to hear."
"No, I don't."
"You played it for her, you can play it for me."
"Well, I don't think I can remember -"
"If she can stand it, I can. Play it."
I went to school in Indiana, and to get to go skiing you had to go WAY north into Mighigan, and even then it was just a hill. Nothing like looking out at the top of the hill and seeing miles of CORNFIELDS.
As a current resident of Kansas and native of Pennsylvania, I would say you are correct. I live one mile west of the KS/MO border at the low end of the state and the elevation here is 1066 feet. Crossing Kansas to Colorado, the elevation gradually rises to over 4000 feet. Mt. Sunflower is not far from the Colorado border and we pass it on our way to Colorado Springs after leaving I-70 at Oakley. What a great stretch of remote highway.
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