HEADLESS TED WILLIAMS' DNA SAMPLES ARE LOST: REPORT

NY Post ^ | 8/13/03 | AP

[Focault's Pendulum]

Legend on ice.

August 13, 2003 -- Ted Williams was decapitated by surgeons at the cryonics company where his body is suspended in liquid nitrogen, and several samples of his DNA are missing, Sports Illustrated reports.

The article, appearing in the issue that hits newsstands today, is based on internal documents, e-mails, photographs and tape recordings supplied by a former employee of Alcor Life Extension Foundation.

[jjm2111]

Eye rolling bump.

[johniegrad]

C'mon.

[jjm2111]

Is this a "Just Damn"?

[Ruth A.]

This is so bizarro. Missing DNA--I don't think the family owes them squat.

[dead]

The head has been shaved, drilled with holes and accidentally cracked 10 times, the magazine said.

Same thing happened to James Carville.

[Jonah Hex]

Stay frosty...

[StatesEnemy]

What do they call that execution device in 18th century France??? Ahh yes... the Neuroseparator.

[TontoKowalski]

The whole concept is kind of creepy, but if the body is being preserved, too, then what was the point in removing his head?

I thought the Preserved Head option was a gimmick to make the suspension services cheaper...

Even if this were to become fashionable and mainstream, I think I prefer good old-fashioned rotting.

[Cobra64]

New interpretation to the expression, "do you give head."

[Charles Henrickson]

"The Splendid Splinter" takes on new meaning.

[Focault's Pendulum]

This is so bizarro.

This is the part that got to me.

It has been shaved, drilled with holes and accidentally cracked 10 times

[Yohan]

"eight DNA samples" missing? Just add a decent pitcher and look for Scottsdale in the LL World Series in about 12 years.

[Rebelbase]

Checking Ebay for the DNA.............

[pogo101]

Macabre. Have they checked the Laci Peterson fridge for Ted's DNA?

[Charles Henrickson]

[quack]

eight DNA samples among 182 taken from Williams are missing without explanation.

Did they check Ebay?

[Charles Henrickson]

Ooops! Wrong iceman!

[ChewedGum]

Maybe someone wanted a Ted Williams Clone. They say that the clone takes on the age of the source though (or at least has the source's remaining lifespan) so cloning someone from a dead person doesn't sound very promising.

Gum

[Charles Henrickson]

"Ted, what do you think you could hit in today's game?"

"Oh, about .320."

"Really? That's all? You hit .344 for your career."

"You've got to remember: I'm 80 years old, frozen, and got my head cut off!"

[Charles Henrickson]

You need a DH (Designated Head)?

[Petronski]

LOL

[Charles Henrickson]

Another Williams, different Sox, different part missing:

Walt "No-Neck" Williams

[Focault's Pendulum]

[Charles Henrickson]

In head-to-head competition, I'd take Ted Williams.

[pepsionice]

This is one of the saddest stories of baseball history. With the exception of Ted, the rest of the family were a bunch of nuts.

Its time that fans of the Red Sox stand up and simply take possession of Ted. Let's go out to AZ, pick up the remains, and bring him home to Boston. We can spread his ashes around the field and let Ted's soul rest finally.

[Hatteras]

I was just listening to the author of the article in SI on the Jim Rome Show. He said that there are taped conversations between the people at Alcor discussing what they could do to recoup the outstanding debt. They were all laughing and coming up with suggestions. Among them, it was suggested to put the body up on E-Bay.

Also, the author said that Alcor is the rightful owner of the body.

[Hatteras]

"We can spread his ashes around the field and let Ted's soul rest finally."

Ted Williams will states that he wanted his body cremated and his ashes spread over the waters of his favorite bonefishing flats in South Florida.

[Rebelbase]

Thats him on the left.

[Charles Henrickson]

pepsionice

Or, in the case of the Williams kids:

popisonice

[Charles Henrickson]

Popsicle.

[Hatteras]

Looks like Captain Quint at the helm...

[Pearls Before Swine]

Williams' head was removed from his body in a procedure called neuroseparation

Neuroseparation--THAT has got to be the "euphemism of the day."

[DuncanWaring]

What's this? A new nickname?

"Headless Ted"

[Charles Martel]

Damn... Matt Groening came really close in Futurama:

[hattend]

I think I saw his head on "Futurama"

[hattend]

See, it pays to scroll down

[TontoKowalski]

Who's the guy in the middle? I don't recognize him.

[angcat]

Wasn't he a Yankee Also?

[Charles Henrickson]

"Headless Ted"

Or "Tedless Head."

[Chummy]

Man, those Yankees will do anything to besmirch the Sox.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Who's the guy in the middle? I don't recognize him.

I don't have a clue.

[RightWhale]

They froze the head and then dropped it? 10 times? So now it's shattered and kept in a bag? They probably think Ted II will be able to see a baseball at all, not to mention counting the stitches in a fastball. Three Stooges meets Dr Frankenstein. Igor, bring me the good brain.

[10mm]

What's this? A new nickname? "Headless Ted"

Yup. Just like "Shoeless" Joe. Only more painful.

[Charles Henrickson]

Wasn't he a Yankee also?

You talking about No-Neck Williams or No-Head Williams? Walt "No-Neck" Williams did play for the Yankees, but most of his career was with the White Sox.

Ted Williams never played for the Yanks . . . although that would be appropriate, in view of what happened to his head.

[js1138]

He's dead, Jim.

[Cooter]

"Headless Ted"
Or "Tedless Head."

Either way, it'd be a good name for a band.

[Xenalyte]

"Headless Ted"
Or "Tedless Head."
Either way, it'd be a good name for a band.

Both of those are excellent band names - to the list they go! Thanks!

[dfwgator]

Ooops! Wrong iceman!

Actually that was Keith Richards.

[dfwgator]

They froze the head and then dropped it? 10 times?

If you're scoring at home, that would be an E-6.