Doctor slang is a dying art

BBC News On Line ^ | August 18m 2003 | Unsigned

[aculeus]

The inventive language created by doctors the world over to insult their patients - or each other - is in danger of becoming extinct.

So says a doctor who has spent four years charting more than 200 colourful examples.

Medicine is a profession already overflowing with acronyms and technical terms, and doctors over the years have invented plenty of their own.

However, Dr Adam Fox, who works at St Mary's Hospital in London as a specialist registrar in its child allergy unit, says that far fewer doctors now annotate notes with acronyms designed to spell out the unsayable truth about their patients.

Top medical acronyms

CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon) GLM - Good looking Mum GPO - Good for Parts Only TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury The increasing rate of litigation means that there is a far higher chance that doctors will be asked in court to explain the exact meaning of NFN (Normal for Norfolk), FLK (Funny looking kid) or GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt). Dr Fox recounts the tale of one doctor who had scribbled TTFO - an expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away" - on a patient's notes.

He told BBC News Online: "This guy was asked by the judge what the acronym meant, and luckily for him he had the presence of mind to say: 'To take fluids orally'."

Quaint up North

Regional dialects abound, even in the world of the medical acronym.

In the north of England, the TTR (Tea Time Review) of a patient is commonplace, but not in the south.

And the number of terms for patients believed to be somewhat intellectually challenged is enormous.

From LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home), CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient), to the delightful term "pumpkin positive", which refers to the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up. Regular visitors to A&E on a Friday or Saturday night are also classified.

DBI refers to "Dirt Bag Index", and multiplies the number of tattoos with the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed.

A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over, while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead.

Medical terms - A glossary

Digging for Worms - varicose vein surgery Departure lounge - geriatric ward Handbag positive - confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on hospital bed clutching handbag Woolworth's Test - Anaesthetic term (if you can imagine patient shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic) This is an international language - Dr Fox's research reveals that a PIMBA in Brazil can be translated as a "swollen-footed, drunk, run-over beggar". Doctor insult

And much of the slang is directed at colleagues rather than patients.

Thus rheumatology, considered by hard-pressed juniors one of the less busy specialties, becomes "rheumaholiday", the "Freud Squad" are psychiatrists, and "Gassers" and "Slashers" are anaesthetists and general surgeons respectively.

Dr Fox is keen to point out that neither he, nor the other authors of the paper, published in the journal Ethics and Behavior, actually advocate using any of the terms.

He said: "It's a form of communication, and it needs to be recorded.

"It may not be around forever."

He said: "I do think that doctors are genuinely more respectful of their patients these days."

If that is the case, perhaps the delights of a "Whopper with Cheese", "Handbag positive" or "Coffin dodger" could be lost forever.

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/health/3159813.stm

Published: 2003/08/18 10:18:32 GMT

© BBC MMIII

[July 4th]

Very funny...thanks.

[Thane_Banquo]

I used to work at a nursing home. We used the term celestial discharge when someone croaked.

[maxwell]

Brings to mind Shem's classic, The House of God... A long-time favorite of mine.

GOMER: Get Out of My Emergency Room

[secret garden]

And the infamous GOMER index passed around to med students.

[Billthedrill]

...one doctor who had scribbled TTFO - an expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away" - on a patient's notes.

No, no, this isn't right - "Go" starts with a "G", not an "F," and "Away" starts with an "A," so "FO" couldn't possibly be...uh...oh. Never mind.

[Paleo Conservative]

DBI refers to "Dirt Bag Index", and multiplies the number of tattoos with the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed.

[Wright is right!]

I especially like Departure Lounge, but I'd apply it to all senior assisted-care facilities instead of just a hospital's geriatric ward.

Since this guy's a Brit, most of his work involves the slang of the UK. You can bet a similar survey here in the US would be extra enlightening.

Michael

[Slip18]

Thanks! That is hysterical. Well, maybe not to a patient.

[maxwell]

"Gomer" is the only one I can remember... I think there was one along the lines of "little old lady in no apparent distress", and there was "turfing", in which one got rid of one's patient by transferring him/her to another department... Now I want to re-read that book.

[AppyPappy]

When I worked at EMS, we had "Slug Calls" which were calls to take invalid patients from rest homes to offices. There was also:

Injury by Cop - every wino you treated was "beaten by a cop". They were usually fighting with each other but they thought they would get better treatment. When we heard "injury by cop", we knew it was a wino.
Legally Dead - Winos who blew over the death limit.
Bagged - dead as in "This one needs to be bagged"
Tagged - take to the morgue rather than ER
Butner - named for the funny farm in NC. Crazy. "Mr Butner needs transportation". They were frequently violent.

[LurkedLongEnough]

Reminds me of a sonogram to look at an unborn child. The woman had asked the doctor not to tell the gender of the baby.

So the doctor takes a look at the image and says to the radiographer, "looks like an XY".

The woman and her husband said, "Then it's a boy?", which flabbergasted the doctor so much, it was a riot.

[Dudoight]

PPP=piss poor protoplasm

[ChewedGum]

UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

There has been a rash of these posted on FR this summer.

Gum

[dighton]

Great stuff.

Pumpkin Positive.

[Mad Dawg]

When I was a hospital chaplain in the 70's, FLK meant Funny Looking Kid -- usually a gloomy statement.

In a wonderful example of euphemism being frustrated, when patients died they were moved to the morgue on Alan Street, so the entry in the record was Alan Street House - which, when computerized, was abbreviated to ASH.

[Fudd]

Had me laughing. And reminded me of when I volunteered at an ER while in High School. We had people come in with their charts marked SOB on a regular basis (shortness of breath).

[stainlessbanner]

Knife And Gun Club = Inner-city hospital

FLK = Funny-Looking Kid

[IncPen]

Must see...

UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

Semper ubi sub ubi: Always wear underwear...

[dighton]

UBI alert.