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A New Breed of Men is Redefining Masculinity
Seattle Post-Intelligencer ^ | 9 September 2003 | Kristin Dizon

Posted on 09/09/2003 1:15:51 PM PDT by Publius

As habitat for the metrosexual male, casual Seattle is no utopia.

Ask people here what a metrosexual is and you might hear: Is that, like, a hermaphrodite? Or, is that having sex on the bus?

Mais, non. The metrosexual, for non-religious readers of The New York Times, is Madison Avenue's buzzword for a straight, urban man who's in touch with his feminine side.

The modern metrosexual -- whether he accepts that particular label or not -- likely enjoys premium shopping, stylish fashion and good grooming. Comfortable with himself, he's neither effeminate nor wimpy.

Though most still consider Europeans light years ahead at fashion and grooming, the metrosexual is evidence that the definition and image of masculinity grows ever wider in this country.

They may be harder to spot on the street here than in New York or L.A., but we've got 'em.

Take Jon Ima, 31, of Seattle. He'd never heard the term and he's unlikely to use it, but he fits the trend. Ima, a real estate developer, enjoys monthly trips to Ummelina International Day Spa downtown for a manicure, massage, facial or brow waxing.

"It's kind of like a mini-vacation. It takes the stress away," said Ima, who lives on Capitol Hill. "You come here to look better or feel better."

Every 2 1/2 weeks, Ima spends $60, before tip, on a haircut. Most days, he teases Bedhead gel or other high-end "product" into his hair.

He buys clothes almost exclusively at Mario's, where his favorite brand is Roberto Cavalli and says he "has a problem" when it comes to shopping. He once bought a $3,400 Isaia suit for its quality and cut. His cologne is Dunhill or Jean Paul Gaultier. His vodka is Ketel One.

His fiancee, Lana Juric, says sometimes he takes longer to get ready than she does. His clothes take up more closet space than hers.

But, says Juric, "I wouldn't like it any other way. It's a plus." She loves that her man smells good, his clothes and shoes match, his garments are immaculately pressed.

And that is why many a man goes metrosexual: for the women.

Ask Ward Van Allen, a bartender at downtown's Fire & Ice restaurant.

"The girls that I'm attracted to have really nice style and taste. And I guess I can't expect to be with them if I don't pay attention to that stuff too," Van Allen, 33, says.

He enjoys shopping, style magazines, well-cut clothes and moisturizer that costs $40 for a few ounces.

"One of the reasons that I get product is I don't want to be 40 and look like I'm 50, or be 50 and look 60," said Van Allen, who hopes his appearance telegraphs that he takes good care of himself.

"I told one friend that I was going to get my eyebrows waxed and he was like, you're WHAT?! I said, It's just a brow waxing. It's no big deal."

Van Allen, who's heard the term "straight-gay" rather than metrosexual, also likes to cook and bake, once making a three-tiered carrot cake for a female friend's wedding.

Many women appreciate such skills, interests and tastes. It gives them more to bond over with male friends, partners and relatives.

And it may help turn their heads.

"I think that's at least 50 percent of the motivation for men," says Michael Flocker, author of the upcoming "The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man." "Straight men are no longer lumbering around in a unibrow and a trench coat."

Flocker, 39, says there is no one metrosexual style. "You can look 100 different ways and still fit into this category," said Flocker, a features editor for AOL Time Warner.

For the would-be metrosexual, Flocker first recommends high-quality underwear and socks, a good haircut, and getting rid of excess ear or nostril hair. But he also urges men to choose what they like and not to succumb to brand worship.

He sums up the benefits of metrosexuality with this equation: if a woman meets two men of similar integrity, kindness and interests, but one is stylish and the other has a "mullet, crusty toes and bad BO," which would she choose?

Case closed.

Beyond raunch

Marian Salzman, chief strategy officer at Euro RSCG Worldwide, an advertising and marketing agency, says several things are changing. Men want advertisements and products to speak to their intellect and emotions. "No more raunchy, laddy stuff," Salzman wrote in an e-mail while on vacation. "It's about being respected for their minds before their bodies and sports prowess."

In a survey of 510 male respondents by Euro RSCG, 49 percent said there's nothing wrong with a facial or a manicure.

As a culture, Salzman adds: "We are more comfortable than ever before with everything gay; 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' is just a symptom of a sea change in acceptance that gay men and straight men can be friends, can share and can learn from one another."

Another survey by research firm Mintel International found that 90 percent of American men say it's fine to go to a spa or salon. About a third say they've bought more grooming products in the past five years.

They also found that new shaving, skin care, hair care and deodorant products aimed at men have doubled in each of the past two years and are on pace to do the same in 2003.

Among the newer high-end lines are Zihr, Nickel, Anthony, and John Allan's, joining established ones such as Decléor, Babor and Kiehl's.

Sometimes, making men comfortable means using a mite of camouflage. At Gene Juarez Salons & Spas, women get a "spa" manicure, while men receive a "sports" manicure; it's the same service. A package including a massage, manicure and Swiss shower is called the "executive retreat," rather than female-oriented packages such as "pure bliss."

At the Bellevue location of Gene Juarez, where there is a separate men's salon, men now make up 27 percent of the hair-cutting business.

Linda Green, director of the company's nail department, says men are paying more attention to looks and grooming because presentation matters in the business world.

Some men who have quietly been using women's products at home are coming out of the product closet. There are also more unisex products that couples can share.

Often, women introduce men or further their metrosexual ways.

Michelle Barghalame, who recently left a job as a sales associate at Barneys New York, a metrosexual haven, says men often tell her, "My wife told me to come here."

Most men do prefer to keep it simple, Barghalame, 24, said, opting for a nice cleanser, moisturizer and shaving cream, but skipping the mask, eye cream and other extras.

And, if there's a little or a lot of vanity involved, so be it. Men say female vanity's been around forever; why can't it be their turn too?

"Women have known for a long time that the right haircut and the right shoes can not only change the way she feels about herself, but also how others look at her," says Flocker, the author.

Jamming the gaydar

Metrosexuals can be an is-he-or-isn't-he? mystery for gay men. Some like a cloud of ambiguity hovering over them like an intriguing, but unplaceable perfume.

"I like attention. I want that," says Terry Jones, who works at Mario's, favors Ernemegildo Zegna suits, and does not wear jeans or shorts, ever.

Jones, who is straight, grew up in Brooklyn, where his style imprint came from his grandfather and the natty neighborhood pimps.

A metrosexual who favors classic style and takes fashion cues from Prince Charles, Jones loves women. And he says they love him too. But, he doesn't mind if a gay man finds him stylish and debonair.

Some gay men appreciate such attention to style. "You're starting to see more straight guys looking like gay guys," says Valentino Romero, an assistant manager at Barneys, who is gay. "It's good for guys to know that it's OK to moisturize. It's not going to make you less masculine."

Others say it can be confusing.

"Oh honey, it's jammed the gaydar," said David Johnson, a hair stylist at Obadiah, who is gay.

"Seattle metrosexuals need to wear pins saying, 'I'm straight, I'm metrosexual and I'm proud.' They should have a metrosexual pride day too," Johnson said, half tongue-in-cheek, half wishfully.

For the straight male, it can be liberating to no longer be assumed to be gay. "Believe me, I've fought that a lot," says Jeff Bergman, a married Seattle man who enjoys Italian cashmere, ballet, fine linens and collecting ceramics.

He felt isolated as a 12-year-old in cooking class and as an 18-year-old with season opera tickets.

"It's OK to be aware of the finer things in life and not be attached with some sort of label," said Bergman, 42, a specialty food buyer.

That goes for the word metrosexual, which Bergman can live without. While such men often love labels of clothes and products, many run from the "metrosexual" label like it's a case of herpes.

The shelf life of the term is anyone's guess.

Where, after all, are the lines of metrosexualdom drawn? If you like Verdi and import cases of Burgundy, but dislike facials and manicures, are you a metrosexual? Or if you favor Bruno Magli shoes and pedicures, but your idea of haute cuisine is McDonald's, what then?

If the current generation of men is leaning metrosexual, marketers are no doubt salivating about the coming one.

Neil Stockman, 29, of Des Moines, learned about style from his girlfriend, Delsa Dislers. She showed him the joys of $100 Diesel jeans, suede and Kenneth Cole shoes after years spent in shorts, baseball caps and flip flops.

Now her sons are picking up those ways. The older one, Dylan, uses gel or pomade to style his hair and wears cologne. He is 11.

"He's already wrapped up in the whole look," said Stockman. "He spends as much time in front of the mirror and is as into name brands and fancy clothes as I am."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: culture; gay; homosexual; males; metrosexual; straight; trendy
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To: RightOnline
However, I wouldn't be caught dead spending three large on a suit, or in an opera house, or a day spa.

The first and third I can agree with. But the second -- well, them's fightin' words. I grew up with classical music and developed a taste for opera in my early adulthood. And what was my day job when I developed that taste for opera? I was a second looie in the Army Signal Corps at Fort Lewis, the battalion motor officer of a signal battalion. Hope that's macho enough for you.

161 posted on 09/09/2003 7:37:50 PM PDT by Publius
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To: Publius
A metrosexual who favors classic style and takes fashion cues from Prince Charles, Jones loves women. And he says they love him too. But, he doesn't mind if a gay man finds him stylish and debonair.

A man who wants gay men to find him stylish and debonair is not straight. The metros might be straight for now --- only because they haven't met the right gay man yet.

162 posted on 09/09/2003 7:38:39 PM PDT by FITZ
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To: B-Chan
Lol, just poking at you. FWIW, I carry as well.
163 posted on 09/09/2003 7:38:42 PM PDT by Melas
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To: Libertina
"Metro" sexual? Ima-has-a-LOT-of-disposable-income is more like it ;)

Metrosexuality is God's way of telling a man that he has too much money.

164 posted on 09/09/2003 7:39:21 PM PDT by Publius
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To: Publius
The first and third I can agree with. But the second -- well, them's fightin' words. I grew up with classical music and developed a taste for opera in my early adulthood. And what was my day job when I developed that taste for opera? I was a second looie in the Army Signal Corps at Fort Lewis, the battalion motor officer of a signal battalion. Hope that's macho enough for you.

But that's the problem here. For you, #2 was a deal breaker. For the guy next to you it might be #1, and the next guy #3. None of these things make a guy less masculine.

165 posted on 09/09/2003 7:41:52 PM PDT by Melas
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To: Publius
Precisely! By George he's got it! :)
166 posted on 09/09/2003 7:45:06 PM PDT by Libertina (I agree with the Republicans' view on gun rights...but wish they'd stop aiming them at their feet ;))
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To: Publius
"The girls that I'm attracted to have really nice style and taste. And I guess I can't expect to be with them if I don't pay attention to that stuff too," Van Allen, 33, says.

The girls that Van Allen is attracted to also have penises. Metrosexual is Madison Avenue's buzzword for closeted homosexual male.

167 posted on 09/09/2003 7:46:14 PM PDT by Junior_G
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To: TheBigB
I visit our local dance theaters on a regular basis. Deja Vu is a favorite, but Club Platinum will do in a pinch. Does that count?

Not only does it count, it is exactly the type of dance establishment I was referring to.

168 posted on 09/09/2003 7:51:20 PM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: USArmyHooah
"Methinks none of these gays...errr guys has ever spent much time eating MREs or going three weeks without a shower."

Three weeks! You spoiled young whippersnappers. Try three months! HOOAH! (L Company RVN -where men were men and tigers were afraid).
169 posted on 09/09/2003 9:07:41 PM PDT by RangerHobbit (I ar a publik skool gradgeet an im not stoopit)
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To: Publius
"I was a second looie in the Army Signal Corps at Fort Lewis, the battalion motor officer of a signal battalion. Hope that's macho enough for you."

JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST a tad touchy there, are we????? :)

170 posted on 09/09/2003 9:27:44 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: Flashman_at_the_charge
"Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie ODonnell ....."

Another correct answer!

Yes indeed, these two fine people are much more masculine then any of the younger men I can think of.

Perhaps we are on the wrong track. Got our sexes mixed up, so to speak.

Maybe the question should be: Which hollwood men are the most beautiful, pussified and just all around girlishly cute?
171 posted on 09/10/2003 2:52:05 AM PDT by ido_now
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To: TontoKowalski
"Teehee, just joking."

Teehee?

Dude, that's so gay.

;-)

172 posted on 09/10/2003 3:46:22 AM PDT by anka
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To: ido_now
Maybe it should be : Which hollywood men have ever changed a tyre in their lives?
173 posted on 09/10/2003 6:50:28 AM PDT by Flashman_at_the_charge
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"Though most still consider Europeans light years ahead at fashion and grooming" - article

What most? - Europeans have yet to discover the benefits of a daily shower with soap and shampoo - much less deoderant.

Well grommed - my but.

174 posted on 09/10/2003 8:05:34 AM PDT by Triple (All forms of socialism deny individuals the right to the fruits of their labor)
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To: ido_now
"Which hollywood men are the most beautiful, pussified and just all around girlishly cute?"

Ummmm....don't tell me, don't tell me, I know the answer to this one. It's....ummmm....Ed Asner and Tom Arnold! Right?
175 posted on 09/10/2003 1:07:14 PM PDT by RangerHobbit (I ar a publik skool gradgeet an im not stoopit)
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To: RangerHobbit
"Which hollywood men are the most beautiful, pussified and just all around girlishly cute?"

Most teenage girls cream over guys who look like them. That's why most women don't object to homosexuality. In addition women like homo's because they know that a friendship with them doesn't require fu_king, which they, for the most part, only religate to babies.

If women were sexual, where is male porn on the net?

Women are a-sexual, for the most part. Needed to rope in a man, but "Oh-Please I have a headacke, now and forever".

[AM I IN DEEP ENOUGH YET!, NO DAMN IT!]

OK, Ladies have at me. I am waiting for the 155mm to land on my position. I'm trying to dig into the sand but I think to no avail.

176 posted on 09/10/2003 3:43:53 PM PDT by ido_now
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To: templar
The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere.
—Mark Simpson, "Meet the metrosexual," Salon.com, July 22, 2002
177 posted on 09/10/2003 3:50:13 PM PDT by John Lenin (Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.)
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To: Publius
"Comfortable with themselves, they're neither effeminate nor wimpy."

Riiiight.

Here are the poster boys of this "metrosexual" nonsense. These characters are sissies. Heteros, but sissies...


178 posted on 09/10/2003 4:03:49 PM PDT by Charles Martel ("Death awaits you all - with nasty, big, pointy teeth!")
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To: Dead Dog
You are definitely on to something. Especially the first paragraph.
179 posted on 11/08/2003 8:53:21 PM PST by ItisaReligionofPeace (I'm from the government and I'm here to help.)
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