Graham decides to go on the attack (And Goes From Merely Eccentric To Flat Out NUTS!!!)

Miami Herald ^ | September 16, 2003 | PETER WALLSTEN

[PJ-Comix]

Sen. Bob Graham, Florida's nice-guy senator and cellar-dweller in the presidential campaign opinion polls, is finally on the attack in his quest to win the Democratic nomination.

It's not a shock-and-awe assault like Sen. Joseph Lieberman's aggressive questioning in recent days of front-runner Howard Dean's flip-flopping and fitness to serve, but for a get-along guy like Graham, it's about as vicious an attack as he'll ever deliver.

''Frankly, the Congress gave this president a blank check,'' Graham said last weekend.

He was speaking about the resolution authorizing President Bush to use military force in Iraq -- a resolution he voted against. While his remarks sound like a dig at Bush, they are in fact aimed squarely at his fellow Democratic rivals who voted for what is now a highly unpopular war among primary voters: Sens. Lieberman of Connecticut, John Kerry of Massachusetts, John Edwards of North Carolina and Rep. Richard Gephardt of Missouri.

The senator's new website, www.stoptheblankcheck.com, carries the attack directly to his rivals, quoting the resolution that allowed Bush to ''use the armed forces of the United States as he determines to be necessary and appropriate,'' and adding: ``Those who voted for this resolution need to be held responsible.''

In Graham's own way, it's also a slap at Dean, the former Vermont governor who has fueled his rise to the top of the Democratic candidate pile with his own opposition to the war -- essentially undermining Graham's whole reason for running.

Graham's new message about Dean: I voted against the war, he's just against it.

In a news conference in Arizona on Monday, Graham honed his aim on the front-runner, quoting Dean claiming he was the only candidate to propose a plan to trim the deficit.

''That's not true,'' Graham said. ``I've had a plan out now for two months to do exactly that.''

Asked whether he has a problem with Dean's apparent penchant to misspeak and shift positions, Graham at first said he would not be ``induced into the type of negativism that is sometimes tempting.''

Apparently the temptation was too great.

Reeling off his own résumé as Florida's two-term governor and the former chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, Graham said: ``If Gov. Dean had had the kind of background as governor of a large and complex state and service that would put him in direct contact with international issues, then he wouldn't have to backtrack.''

The new attack mode is timely for what has been so far a campaign struggling to be taken seriously by the pundits and donors who anoint front-runners and losers.

Nothing else has worked so far for Graham, who maintains he is a serious candidate in a crowded field despite hovering near 1 percent in key primary states and struggling to raise money.

He has sponsored a NASCAR truck, taken his family on ''vacation'' through Iowa, performed his campaign song across the nation, even signed autographs with baseball great Fergie Jenkins -- but through it all Dean has emerged carrying the anti-war mantle while Graham is viewed as an oddity.

[PJ-Comix]

but through it all Dean has emerged carrying the anti-war mantle while Graham is viewed as an oddity.

"Oddity" is a polite way of saying flat out NUTS!

[PJ-Comix]

I just checked Graham's StopTheBlankCheck.Com website and he has really gone off the deep end. Here is the wording of part of that website next to this pic of the White House:

President Bush: You are being served an eviction notice from the White House.

[gov_bean_ counter]

My son describes him as a crazy a$$.

[gov_bean_ counter]

My son describes him as a crazy a$$.

[corkoman]

During the Harkin weenie roast Graham was positioned right behind Bill Clinton - so as Clintoon yapped, Graham's bulbous head bobbed back and forth and swayed. His face looked a little purple and the shadows under his eyes and nose gave hima mask-like appearance. He didnt smile or change facial exprerssion for 15 minutes of prime-time coverage. I was getting creeped out and then my 15 yo daughter walked by the TV, glanced at it and squawked - Who is THAT!?! This assured me that I was not hallucinatin

What a creepy dude.

[PJ-Comix]

HEY! It's gets even better (funnier) on Graham's new website. Not content to want to "evict" Bush from the White House, he now wants to toss Bush off his ranch. Some folks might think this is going over the edge in viciousness. I attribute it more to Graham's NUTTINESS. And the funny thing is he has no clue as to how BIZARRE he appears to the public. Anyway, here is the wording and photo Graham is using to ask to kick Bush off his ranch (and what would the purpose of that be?):

President Bush: Foreclosure proceedings have begun on your Texas ranch.

[mabelkitty]

He must have gotten wind that Clark is getting in.

[PJ-Comix]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Graham is so NUTS that he also has a promo to repossess Bush's pickup truck! Here is the wording and the photo:

President Bush: Your pickup has been repossessed to help pay down the deficit.

[CaptRon]

Maybe that should be StopTheBlankStare.com, considering the source.

[PJ-Comix]

Yeah. Graham is getting DESPERATE. We could really use Registered's skills here to do parodies of these pathetic pictoral pleas by Graham. Maybe Registered could do a pic of Graham's brain being repossessed by men in white coats in order to restore some sanity to politics.

[PJ-Comix]

Maybe that should be StopTheBlankStare.com, considering the source.

LOL! Maybe we could set up a parody website along those lines and include parody photos and copy as I suggested in my previous post. Crazy politicians are FUN to watch!!!

[Petronski]

LOL!

I'd love to read this dude's OCD journal he keeps daily. That ought to be some funny reading...

[KellyAdmirer]

From the Honorable Senator Graham's personal Diary:

7:15 Awoke. Looked out window. Sun shining.
7:16 Stumbled into bathroom. Shaved, 15 strokes on left, 13 on right.
7:20 Showered. Had to twist "Hot" knob a quarter turn, "Cold" knob a little more
7:25 Dressed. Chose the dark suit, the one with the extra button
7:32 Ate breakfast. Ham and eggs. Two eggs. Two pieces of ham.
7:43 Called webmaster. Little punk. He asked for more money. I told him, "No blank check for you!"
7:44 Webmaster started getting excited. Got off the phone. Like I need him?
7:46 Drove to work. Three red lights. Saw a cop, slowed down.
8:03 Saw a bird on way to work. Nice bird. Green feathers. I love birds.
8:15 Got to office. Said hello to secretary.
8:17 Looked at website. Something about a blank check! Where did that come from??
8:23 Received call from Janet Reno. She likes the blank check thing. I asked her why? She mumbled something and got off the phone. Never did like her voice.
8:37 DNC called. Asked about the blank check. I said I had it in my desk somewhere. Guy didn't seem to follow me.
8:42 Press called. I said, doggone it, I ain't giving anyone no blank check! Reporter thanked me.
8:44 Reporter asked me about the economy. Told him I had a plan, had it for months. It was right here on my desk. Think I lost it. Know I had it here. Where is the plan? Will have to have secretary look for it.

[oyez]

Its middle school mentality. I get a cold feeling that this will be the order of the day, untill the Democrats learn to discuss the issues.

[ServesURight]

FReepers should stop posting Graham newsarticles. All that's doing is giving him attention he doesn't deserve. Screw him - he's a nobody loser.

[oyez]

What's that SNL charactor, Brian Fellows?

[TheBigB]

8:03 Saw a bird on way to work. Nice bird. Green feathers. I love birds.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's just excellent! :) But I thnk you left out some detail...

9:37 Need new underwear. Went to K-Mart. Scary people. Too many people. Boxers or briefs. Buy mesh low-rise thong. I like K-Mart.

[PJ-Comix]

FReepers should stop posting Graham newsarticles. All that's doing is giving him attention he doesn't deserve. Screw him - he's a nobody loser.

Maybe but he's a great source for LAUGHS! He's like the eccentric high school teacher many of us had and who didn't realize that his weirdness was the real reason for all that giggling in class.

[Cicero]

Can our country afford to have a nutcase like this as a senior member of the Intelligence Committee?

[PJ-Comix]

Can our country afford to have a nutcase like this as a senior member of the Intelligence Committee?

That is frightening. The guy is the senior Demmycrat on that committee and he is a complete LOON. Dr. Strangelove is going to have a lot more credibility with me the next time I see it.

[.cnI redruM]

Someone slipped something into his Gatorade. Something that really doesn't mix too safely with geritol.

[.cnI redruM]

Someone slipped something into his Gatorade. Something that really doesn't mix too safely with geritol.

[alnick]

2:37 PM: Shaved two more strokes on right. That was bothering me all day.

[At _War_With_Liberals]

[cyncooper]

Your senator is acting up...

What a nut!

(Was listening to Medved briefly the other day and he was talking about that dem "debate" and listed the candidates in order of repugnance. Sharpton was worst on his list, then Graham. I was surprised that Graham beat out Kucinich and Mosely-Braun on his list, but maybe not...)

[cyncooper]

Your senator is acting up...

What a nut!

(Was listening to Medved briefly the other day and he was talking about that dem "debate" and listed the candidates in order of repugnance. Sharpton was worst on his list, then Graham. I was surprised that Graham beat out Kucinich and Mosely-Braun on his list, but maybe not...)

[cyncooper]

Oops....double post.

[Tarl]

I think he's upset that Clark is going to be everyones favorite VP...thus eliminating any value Grahm might have had. I'm sure he was hoping to "hitch a ride" with someone as their VP wishing the lure of valuable Florida would be enough for a free ride.

[EllaMinnow]

It's okay to double-post about Graham - he's double-weird and double-evil.

[PJ-Comix]

It's okay to double-post about Graham - he's double-weird and double-evil.

And double-HILARIOUS!!! I got a big laugh when Graham at the last debate froze completely when the first of the LaRouche hecklers started screaming. It was like his mind was short-circuited leaving the Graham body to stare straight ahead like a robot. Only Sharpton knew how to react to the hecklers.

[pankot]

Graham's a cracker.

[PJ-Comix]

Graham's a cracker.

Also a dinasaur. Nobody born and raised in Dade County for at least the past 40 years sounds at all like Graham. Long gone are the days when you would sound like a Southern Cracker due to being raised in the Miami area.

[leprechaun9]

Hey numb nuts Graham - the people of the United States are the landlords. Take your eviction notice and put it on your person where the sun never shines!

[floriduh voter]

You know, I think when Graham got his bypass, they implanted a "chip" in his head. I don't know who's running the satellite GPS system that's controlling Bionic-Bob.

[floriduh voter]

Meet Bionic-Bob. Controlled by satellite tracking.

[floriduh voter]

Is Bob gonna auction off Dubya's cattle too? I'd like to see that. LOL That good ld boy ain't right. Teched in the head.

Now in the old days, he had the DOT re-draw the interstate so that they would have to BUY LAND from his family. Major conflict of interest but that was then, now he's just plain Bionic-Bob.

[Spyder]

From Dave Barry's column this weekend: Read the rest of it here

Let me say this to my fellow news mediums: When we decide to pick a new front-runner, we should take a hard look at Florida Sen. Bob ''Bob'' Graham. Really. I've known Sen. Graham for more than 20 years, during which I've interviewed him on a number of issues, and I've always found his answers to be thought-provoking. The specific thought they provoke is: ''Huh?''

Here's a true example. Ten years ago, I found out that the last remaining accordion-repair training program in the United States, located in Winona, Minn., was closing, leaving our nation's vital accordion resources dangerously dependent on foreigners. I called Sen. Graham's office, and he got on the phone personally. In rapid succession, he made the following statements, which I swear I am not making up:

• ''Just last night I ate at an Italian restaurant which, like thousands of other Italian restaurants across America, is now without music, because their accordion is in disrepair and has been returned from Winona, Minn., with postage due.''

• ''We are preparing an anti-dumping order against Liechtenstein, which has become the center of accordion repair on a global basis and has developed some ferociously anti-competitive practices.''

• ''I don't know whether the actual use of nuclear weapons is called for, but I do think we need a credible military threat.''

Back when Graham was governor of Florida, I asked him what he planned to do about the issue of harmonica safety. Without hesitation, he gave a two-minute speech, with statistics, proving that all of Florida's harmonica-related deaths were actually the fault of the previous governor. Really. And now he's running for president! If we in the news media don't do all we can to promote this man's campaign, we are even stupider than I thought.

[Jonathan]

"I created 1.4 million jobs in Florida and I will do it again for America."

But NONE of them were for either accordian repair technicians or harmonica safety guards. What is up with that?!?!?

[Ann Archy]

During the Harkin weenie roast Graham was positioned right behind Bill Clinton - so as Clintoon yapped, Graham's bulbous head bobbed back and forth and swayed. His face looked a little purple and the shadows under his eyes and nose gave hima mask-like appearance. He didnt smile or change facial exprerssion for 15 minutes of prime-time coverage. I was getting creeped out and then my 15 yo daughter walked by the TV, glanced at it and squawked - Who is THAT!?! This assured me that I was not hallucinatin
What a creepy dude.
saw that also....Amen....what a CREEPY DUDE. How anyone ever thought he was smart is beyond me.