Jessica Simpson & hubby...
Posted on 10/07/2003 7:26:09 PM PDT by mhking
Who knew that watching MTV could make you feel smarter?
If you are aware that Chicken of the Sea is, in fact, tuna fish, that platypus is not pronounced "plat-a-ma-puss" and that buffalo wings are not made of buffalo, well, you're a genius compared to Jessica Simpson, star of MTV's Newlyweds.
And now you can continue to pit your wits against the sexy simpleton. MTV has picked up a second 10-episode season of Newlyweds.
The reality show chronicles the daily life of Simpson and her hubby, Nick Lachey, as they struggle with the challenges and obstacles of everyday life in the land of the rich and famous.
It's so hard to be a 23-year-old pop-star bride, who's rich, gorgeous and married to a doting husband, who finds even your prolific burping and farting adorable. The things you have to figure out on your own these days...Why on earth aren't there special Yellow Pages listings for maids for celebrities?
Luckily, she has found a partner marginally brighter than herself to explain such challenges as the garage-door opener.
Formerly one-fourth of boy band 98 Degrees, Lachey has been doing his own laundry for years now and knows to look at his credit-card receipts before signing them. He can shake his head indulgently when his wife mistakes fish for chicken and chicken for buffalo; he knows the difference.
The baffling rhetoric displayed on Newlyweds somehow makes it compulsively watchable; last week's installment averaged 2.5 million viewers. The first season's finale will air on Oct. 21, five days before the couple's one-year anniversary. Here's hoping the show's IQ won't go up as Lachey and Simpson enter their second year of wedded bliss and second season of unintentional hilarity.
Also picked up for a second season by MTV was Snoop Dogg's Doggy Fizzle Televizzle.
The variety show stars the rapper in comedy sketches featuring plenty of pimp 'n' ho humor. It's something akin to Comedy Central's The Chappelle Show crossed with Fox's '90s hit In Living Color.
As schoolteacher Mr. Dizzle, Snoop teaches his pupils some variations on classic nursery rhymes: "With a knick-knack bitch snap give a ho my bone/These li'l hos came roaming home." As an Arby's drive-thru worker, he takes orders in his trademark izzle-speak, befuddling his customers.
Doggy Fizzle Televizzle is a gizzle tizzle and worth a wizzle. Last week's show was watched by 1.3 million, improving ratings in the 10 p.m. time slot by 30 percent. The new six-episode season debuts in 2004.
MTV has also renewed its landmark reality series Road Rules for a 13th season. The premise of the show remains the same: six strangers, all under 25 and pretty much guaranteed to dislike one another. They pack themselves into an RV and travel around performing "challenges," while having their lives taped.
The challenges executed by the camera-hungry RV dwellers often involve climbing to high places, eating disgusting things or getting naked. Generally, they are fairly inept at these tasks with the exception of the nudity, at which they tend to be pretty good.
In recent seasons, a teammate or two gets voted off and is replaced by an equally forgettable castmember. The eliminations are always the most riveting moments of the show, due to the increased drama factor.
The trio of shows will join the already-renewed Real World, Punk'd and The Osbournes in the network's new lineup.
Not making the cut was The New Tom Green Show. Veteran MTV shockster Tom Green should have stuck with suckling cow teats and building obscene sculptures on his parents' lawn. His talk show was canceled after 23 episodes, due to declined ratings.
If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
[As i mentioned, the B/C & JD! lists are going to float into and out of whack over the forseeable future, while I try to cobble a rig back together for myself. My apologies for any incovenience or misunderstandings in this time frame. New signups/removals may be flaky in this time-frame as well; please bear with me, and keep in mind you may have to FReepmail me more than once for me to get it done. Thanks again!]
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Actually, Snoop Dogg's "trademark izzle-speak" is a cheap, unimaginative rip off of Cab Calloway and his jive slang he came up with all those years ago in Harlem.
I haven't seen the show yet -- I stay away from MTV unless there is something extraordinary on -- but I will feel less guilty laughing at a cute young thing who's just clueless rather than a washed-up pinup model up to her forehead in tranquilizers.
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