[Gone_Postal]

"Hell, if you work for Bill Clinton, you go up and down more times than a whore's nightgown." —James Carville

"I wouldn't want any unneutered Clintons in my house." —Former Labor Secretary nominee Linda Chavez, wondering about the reproductive status of Socks the cat, whom she has offered to adopt

"It's the first time Clinton has ever rejected p---y in his life" —G. Gordon Liddy, on reports that the Clintons were giving away First Cat Socks to Betty Currie

"Jackson was carrying on his affair with Sanford while he was counseling President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. In fact, he even brought his pregnant mistress to the White House, one can only assume to show off to Clinton how to properly destroy one's career and reputation." —Jon Stewart

"Here's the worst part about this whole thing. During the impeachment trial, Jesse Jackson was Bill Clinton's spiritual adviser. In fact, that's where Bill and Monica got that cigar. Jesse was passing them out: 'Here you go! It's a girl! It's a girl!" —Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments." —David Letterman

"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it." —Jay Leno

"I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years." —Bill Clinton

"Last time I saw (Clinton) he was swinging on the chandelier in the Oval Office with a brassiere around his head, Viagra in one hand and a Bible in the other, and he was torn between good and evil." —Congressman James Traficant, Jr. (D-Oh.)

"If I were, I would be looking up from a pool of blood and hearing (my wife ask), 'How do I reload this thing?'" — Congressman Dick Armey (R-Tex.), asked during the Monica Lewinsky scandal what he would do if he were in Clinton's position

"You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy" —Bill Clinton, looking at "Juanita," a newly discovered Incan mummy on display at the National Geographic museum

"I'd be happy to give him a blow job just to thank him for keeping abortion legal." —Nina Burleigh, former White House correspondent for Time magazine, in an interview with the Washington Post. She was elaborating on an article she wrote in Mirabella magazine, in which she admitted that she enjoyed having Bill Clinton check out her naked legs during a game of hearts aboard Air Force One. "If he had asked me to continue the game of hearts back in his room at the Jasper Holiday Inn," she wrote, "I would have been happy to go there and see what happened.

[Mia T]

"I wouldn't want any unneutered Clintons in my house." --Former Labor Secretary nominee Linda Chavez, wondering about the reproductive status of Socks the cat, whom she has offered to adopt

 

"It's the first time Clinton has ever rejected p---y in his life" --G. Gordon Liddy, on reports that the Clintons were giving away First Cat Socks to Betty Currie

 

Buddy Death Report Raises More Questions Than It Answers

 

By Mia T

 

 

HAPPAQUA, N.Y., Jan. 4 -- The clinton-PR-machine-generated report of the death of Buddy, the impeached ex-president's chocolate Labrador, raises more questions than it answers. The report states: "Buddy playfully took after a contractor leaving the Clinton home about noon and was struck by a sport utility vehicle on Route 117 at the bottom of Old House Lane...Neither Mr. Clinton nor Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton were [sic] home at the time. The only comment they will make on the matter is by way of a statement issued by Mrs. Clinton's office: 'My best memory is that I did not have any involvement in that death.'"

 

 

The report fails to explain how Buddy was able to wrest from the strong arm of the Secret Service and negotiate the multimillion-dollar, taxpayer-financed retrofits that were installed to make the poorly located suburban house safe for the universally despised former first couple. The report also fails to include a timeline detailing the whereabouts of the clintons on the day of the death. The clinton report's indictment of a sport utility vehicle (SUV) has caused incipient whispers of a vast left-wing conspiracy and the ever-expanding list of dead adverse clinton witnesses to fill the Senate cloakroom.

 

 

Buddy was a 1997 'gift' from a 'benefactor' who subscribed to the notion: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog," particularly sage advice for a DC couple forever mired in scandal and antipathy. Whether Buddy also subscribed to that notion was questioned as recently as last January when he entangled himself in clinton's legs, dropping the impeached ex-president to the pavement; clinton insisted at the time that there was no malevolence involved, that they were simply playing a game of fetch. clinton refused to say who was doing the fetching. (see BILL & HILL & BUDDY & HELEN, Helen Thomas Syndrome: THE SYMPTOMS )

 

 

The White House reported that the clintons' first First Pet, Socks, a cat, greeted the canine acquisition with "a hiss previously reserved only for Ken Starr." Because Buddy remained Socks' nemesis throughout the clinton dog days, Socks was eventually exiled to Virginia, to the suburban home of Betty Currie, former clinton subornee and sex scheduler. At the time, clinton observed: "I made more progress in the Middle East than I did between Socks and Buddy." Retrospectively, it is clear that clinton's characterization was not correct.

 

 

Buddy web sites quickly exploded throughout cyberspace. (Socks web sites, too, Socks would add.) Mrs. clinton, a long-time adherent of synergistic exploitation, "authored" an instant book about three groups favored for exploitation by the clintons: dogs, cats and children. "Dear Socks, Dear Buddy: Kids' Letters to the First Pets" was published by the clintons' personal agitprop-and-money-laundering machine, Simon & Schuster. (see Is hillary clinton's $8M "book advance" a Peter-Principle artifact?)

Although Chappaqua locals share the national repugnance for the clintons, their feelings never spilled over to Buddy. "The big highlight for people was, 'I just saw Buddy,' never mind Mr. and Mrs. Clinton," said Christine Meyer, owner of Wags and Whiskers here.