Please Help Me Help My Grandmother Find The Lord

[Captainpaintball]

I know you are busy, but I was wondering if you could help me. My grandmother is dying--she just told my Mom she thinks she will die within the week. She slept all day today. I was wondering if anyone could tell me the best way to get her to know the Lord before she dies. She is Catholic and went to church very regularly, (I can never remember a time when she didn't give me Catholic literature or prayer pamphlets) but I can't say for sure if she is born again. She lives 100 miles away in New York, and I would have to do it over the phone. I gave my mom a pamphlet about accepting Christ into one's life a month or two ago, but I am not sure if she showed it to her. (My mom goes up to be with my grandmother for 5 days a week) I am too much of a coward for some reason, I guess.

At this point, she is in no condition for a lengthy phone conversation. How do I bring this up with her? I don't want to tell her I know she is dying, and that time is short. Her condition is worsening by the day; I don't even know if I will be able to do this. All the things I wanted to ask her, all the things I wanted to say...I can't now. Please help me do this, at least. Thank you.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

God bless your witness to her.

As simple as I can tell you, tell her that Jesus died on the cross, was buried, and rose from the grave.

And He did this to wash all sin so we can accept Him as our sin bearer and pass from death unto life.

Ask her if she believes this, and accepts Him as her savior.

Her answer will tell you what you need to know.

I pray for her and you.

BigMack

[LadyDoc]

You are worried, because you think she is not "saved" if she doesn't say a magic formula "accepting Jesus" that you think is necessary to go to heaven? Because it appears that this lady does indeed have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Every time a Catholic receives the sacrament at a communion service, they believe they are receiving Jesus in their heart...even bad catholics and agnostic catholics believe this...there is a personal relationship with Jesus present. Catholics tend to see their relationship with Jesus as their relationship with their family members. But it's like your family: you live in that comfortable relationship, but you don't go talking about it much, you show it in your daily deeds (Catholics would say the best prayer is doing the duties of one's daily life in obedience to God, knowing that this is what he wants us to do) in the same way a woman shows love for her husband by cleaning house, or a husband works hard to support his family.

It's like the joke: A woman complained to her husband of many years that he didn't love her because he never told her he loved her, and he said, yes I did, I told you I loved you when we married...he means that every day of his life his work for her and his care for her is "saying" I love you...

Your grandmother loves Jesus, and has said it every day in her life...she just isn't big about saying "lord lord" but did spend her life doing the will of the father...so will enter his kingdom.(Matthew 7:21)

[Ff--150]

Might want to ignore the fear, dogmas and doctrine and see what the Bible says:

1 Timothy 2:14. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

15. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Talk with God as He wants to reassure you and your family with all His Heart.

[RobbyS]

Ask her to pray for you.

[NYer]

I was wondering if anyone could tell me the best way to get her to know the Lord before she dies. She is Catholic and went to church very regularly, (I can never remember a time when she didn't give me Catholic literature or prayer pamphlets) but I can't say for sure if she is born again.

No need to make that long distance phone call; your catholic grandmother is "born again" and again and again.

Catholics and Protestants agree that to be saved, you have to be born again. Jesus said so: "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3).

When a Catholic says that he has been "born again," he refers to the transformation that God’s grace accomplished in him during baptism. Evangelical Protestants typically mean something quite different when they talk about being "born again."

These different ways of talking about being "born again" describe effects of baptism, which Christ speaks of in John 3:5 as being "born of water and the Spirit." In Greek, this phrase is, literally, "born of water and Spirit," indicating one birth of water-and-Spirit, rather than "born of water and of the Spirit," as though it meant two different births—one birth of water and one birth of the Spirit.

In the water-and-Spirit rebirth that takes place at baptism, the repentant sinner is transformed from a state of sin to the state of grace. Peter mentioned this transformation from sin to grace when he exhorted people to "be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38).

The context of Jesus’ statements in John 3 makes it clear that he was referring to water baptism. Shortly before Jesus teaches Nicodemus about the necessity and regenerating effect of baptism, he himself was baptized by John the Baptist, and the circumstances are striking: Jesus goes down into the water, and as he is baptized, the heavens open, the Holy Spirit descends upon him in the form of a dove, and the voice of God the Father speaks from heaven, saying, "This is my beloved Son" (cf. Matt. 3:13–17; Mark 1:9–11; Luke 3:21–22; John 1:30–34). This scene gives us a graphic depiction of what happens at baptism: We are baptized with water, symbolizing our dying with Christ (Rom. 6:3) and our rising with Christ to the newness of life (Rom. 6:4–5); we receive the gift of sanctifying grace and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 12:13; Gal. 3:27); and we are adopted as God’s sons (Rom. 8:15–17).

So the answer to the question, "Are Catholics born again?" is yes! Since all Catholics have been baptized, all Catholics have been born again.

It appears that your grandmother loved you so much that she provided you with information on the Catholic Church. Show your love for her by reading that literature which is her gift to you. Before she dies, share your love and appreciation for her gifts with her. Also make certain that your mom contacts a priest, so that your grandmother can receive the final sacrament of Annointing of the Sick.

The anointing of the sick is often administered near the time of death, to bring spiritual and even physical strength during an illness. It is most likely one of the last sacraments one will receive. A sacrament is an outward sign established by Jesus Christ to confer inward grace. In more basic terms, it is a rite that is performed to convey God’s grace to the recipient, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The most important part of the last rites is the reception of the Lord in one’s final Communion, also called "Viaticum" (Latin = that which you take on the road, i.e., provisions for a journey) This special Communion prepares us to travel with the Lord on the final part of our journey.

The comfort of Viaticum has been valued by Christians since the beginning of Church history. The first ecumenical council, held at Nicaea in 325, decreed: "Concerning the departing, the ancient canonical law is still to be maintained, to wit, that, if any man be at the point of death, he must not be deprived of the last and most indispensable Viaticum" (canon 13). Having repented of our sins and received reconciliation, we travel with the Lord Jesus out of this earthly life and to eternal happiness with him in heaven.

From the earliest times, the sacrament of the anointing of the sick was cherished among Christians, not only in immediate danger of death, but even at the beginning sign of danger from illness or old age. A sermon of Caesar of Arles (ca. A.D. 470-542) contains the following: "As often as some infirmity overtakes a man, let him who is ill receive the body and blood of Christ; let him humbly and in faith ask the presbyters for blessed oil, to anoint his body, so that what was written may be fulfilled in him: ‘Is anyone among you sick? Let him bring in the presbyters, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he be in sins, they will be forgiven him. . . . See to it, brethren, that whoever is ill hasten to the church, both that he may receive health of body and will merit to obtain the forgiveness of his sins" (Sermons 13[325]:3).

[Rubber_Duckie_27]

It sounds as if your grandmother is a devout Catholic. To her, it is not necessary to say a certain thing to accept Jesus as one's savior. To Catholics and many Protestants, baptism is all that is needed to be "born again."

Although I am not Catholic, it saddens me to think that someone is hurting because they feel their ailing relative will go to hell because they're not born-again (in the Evangelical sense). Pushing this issue with your grandmother is not going to do anything at this stage but push you apart. If she is Catholic, she believes that Jesus is her Savior - what more can you ask for?

Please make sure that your grandmother's priest has visited her. It is probably very important to her that she recieves the necessary sacraments and spiritual comfort from her clergyman. Simply tell your grandma how much you love her - that is what she needs right now, not a grandson telling her that her faith of a lifetime is wrong and that she must say a certain phrase to get to heaven.

[EvaClement]

Captain, you have my empathy. My grandma is 93, lives 250 miles north of me, and I am not sure she has Saving Faith.

I do realize some Roman Catholics truly love Jesus and have accepted Him as Lord and Savior of their life. Sadly, many other RC folks think because their parents took them to church as babies and had them baptized that they are Heaven bound or maybe they think praying the rosary gets them in. Or they think they will still be able to get to Heaven since they will go to Purgatory (which doesn't even exist) and somehow earn (or be prayed for by others) and make their way to Heaven from there.

The way I read my Bible that is not the case. In fact, that's just another way the enemy has of lulling unsaved people into not bothering to invite Jesus in, accept His gift of forgiveness, make Him their Lord, and by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony, not love their lives to the death. Their reliance on unbiblical dogma is keeping them from seeking and finding the One Who saves souls in a real and personal way.

See Rev. 12:10-11 and Acts 26:18.

As for your grandma. Hopefully, since she actively gave you RC literature, she does have Saving Faith.

Everytime you think of her for the rest of her life, always pray; by always I mean any time, working, driving, etc. For instance,

"Father in Jesus' Name, please pour deliverance, salvation, and healing into my Grandma. Please make her aware of her need for You. Please don't let her die till she is right with you and ready to go to Heaven. I pray this in the Name of Jesus. Amen."

God bless your grandma. I will pray for her too.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

I will pray for you and your grandmother.

I don't know how easy it would be to ask someone in her condition this question, having never been called on to do it, but a good way to find out if a person is saved is to ask them "If you died tonight do you KNOW for sure you would go to heaven". A short simple question. Their answer will tell you alot.

If they answer "I don't know for sure" or "I think so" or "Yes, because I am a good person" or if a Catholic, "Yes, by way of purgatory," you know that person is not saved. If they answer "Yes, because they are trusting in Jesus death, burial and resurrection" Then you know they are saved. There is only one way to heaven. Trusting in anything but Christ is not the plan of salvation.

Becky

[Desdemona]

I think you're worrying more than you need to. Be sure a priest sees your grandmother before she dies, so she can be annointed and make a confession if she wants. What's done is done. Please, just pray for her soul once she has passed on. YOur prayers add to her salvation.

There are no guarantees, but with a lot of prayer causes can be helped.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

Oh, I guess I should have added that if you ask and her answer reveals she is not saved Then just read her a few scriptures.

1 John 5:13, Rom. 3:23, James 2:10, Rom 10:9.

Becky

[american colleen]

I think if you are concerned enough you will take that 100 mile drive (maybe it'll take you 1 1/2 hours but if you truly love someone, that is not a big sacrifice to make) and go to be with your dying grandmother - pray with her, tell her you love her and thank her for all that she has done for you. It may be the last time you have this chance - and regret is a painful thing.

I have the feeling that it may surprise you that your grandmother has a deep faith in Jesus Christ and has "run the race" over the course of her life on this earth.

[EvaClement]

If your grandma were to say she wasn't sure, ask her if she would be willing to repeat a prayer after you; if she says yes, pray, Lord Jesus, (pause), You are the Son of God, (pause), You are the Savior of the world, (pause), please have mercy on me a sinner, (pause), I trust You now, (pause), in the Name of Jesus, (pause), AMEN.

Capt. PB, it is a good thing that she shared the RC literature with you, it indicates she takes matters of faith seriously. Since SHE was concerned for you, you may take that as a good sign that she has opened her heart to the Truth, to the Light of the world.

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love; Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above. Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away; Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!

[drstevej]

Grandma, when Jesus died on the cross, He said, "It is finished." Do you believe that his death, burial and resurrection paid the full price for your sins?

Are you trusting Him alone for eternal life?

Remember, Grandma, He didn't say "I did my part, now you do yours." He said, "It is finished." Look to Him alone. Only His righteousness meets Heaven's standard. By faith we are clothed in His righteousness.

Who are you trusting, Grandma, Jesus or Jesus plus anything else?

[tob2]

You are quite right about "saying a magic formula accepting Jesus". I know some people who says because they are "born again" and every other word is "Praise God" etc. assures they have that personal relationship with Jesus. Quoting chapter and verse from any part of the Bible does not mean a person has that personal relationship either. It is in the lives we live and the deeds we do that demonstrate we are saved, born again - whatever you want to call it.

[Quester]

Are you sure that you could not manage a visit with your Grandmother. This would be the ideal setting in which to gently discuss your beliefs with her.

If such a visit were possible, ... or even if I could manage a comfortable conversation over the phone, ... I believe that this might be a gentle approach ... (be sure to pray in regard to your visit with your grandmother and to look to God's Holy Spirit to guide you in your visit.)

1.) Tell your grandmother of your love for her and that you need her to tell you what you need to do to make sure that you make it to heaven.

Something along the lines of ...

"Grandma, ... could you tell me what you think I need to know so I can go to heaven ... ?"

In my opinion as a Bible teacher, if she mentions anything about trusting in Jesus to save her, ... you can be assured that you will see your grandmother in heaven.

2.) If her answers to you don't match your beliefs (because this is really the issue here) ask her gently about those differences. Something like ...

So ... you don't think that it is important to trust in Jesus to save you ?

If she doesn't assent to this (which I don't believe will happen) ... you can then gently share a scripture or two with her which points to Jesus as the key to our going to heaven.

If she continues to resist this line of thought, ... I would leave the subject, and go on to have a nice visit with her. You will have shared the gospel with her, and this is all you can do. The rest is up to God and your grandmother. God may use her remaining time to impress into her hearts any necessary truths regarding His salvation that she doesn't already know.

I would say that the key to any witness experience are to ...

... let the Holy Spirit guide you in all that you say and do

... be focused on the best interests of the witnessee, not yourself,

... avoid being argumentative,

... display the love of Christ during the experience

I, too, commend you on your concern for your grandmother.

I believe that it is very likely that you will find that your grandmother has enough of the truth to assure you that you will see her in heaven.

God Bless ...

[Ex-Wretch]

If you feel pressed about your Grandma's salvation, I believe the Lord would have you to go visit with her. Simply tell her how much you love her and that you want to pray with her. She really shouldn't object to that. I regularly go to a nursing home to minister and I've found that people nearing death do have an anxiety about it. You must ask the Lord yourself to lead you and guide you as to what and how to speak.

That said, I would say something like : Grandma, I really want to pray with you. We can never pray enough, right? Let's ask Jesus to come and be near us right now. He said where two or more are gathered in my name, He would be there also. OK? Then ask her to pray with you acknowleding Jesus as the Lord. Thank Him for dying for her and you and rising from the dead to now make intercession for us. Tell Him how sorry you are for all of the sins done throughout the lifetime He has given and ask for His full forgiveness for all of those sins. Then simply say, Lord, for whatever time is left that you give me, I don't want to hurt you anymore. I want you to be fully glorified in my life. I give it all to you now and I ask you to take full control. Thank you, Jesus for hearing and forgiving me. I love you, Lord.

Mind you, these are more than words if they are heartfelt. They will truly bring comfort, peace, assurance and a big ole smile to you both.

May you now have all the courage and wisdom you need to go forward. And, may all the hearts involved be softened to receive it. In Jesus' mighty name we ask this.

[ardara]

The best thing you can do for your grandma is to contact her local parish church. Whether at home or in a hospital,they will see that she gets the wonderful Sacrament of the Sick.In this sacrament your grandma will receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and The Body of Christ plus other special graces.My family will pray for you and your grandma.

[ahadams2]

If you're from a non-liturgical, non-sacramental denomination what you're attempting to deal with will be very difficult, since what you are encountering here is exactly the difference between sacramental and non-sacramental theology.

Given that your grandmother is a devout Roman Catholic, that she has gone to Mass regularly, says her prayers, and so forth, I wouldn't be too surprised if she reacts with more than a little irritation to suggestions that she needs to say some sort of magic words prayer in order to be assured of salvation. I would submit that a much better way to approach this would be something similar to this:

"Grandma, you know I'm not Catholic, so sometimes what catholics do confuses me; do you mind if I ask you a question?"

given that she asks what you want to know then ask something along the lines of:

"Well Grandma, all I'm really confused about is whether or not catholics believe that faith in Jesus is the only way to be saved - is that what catholics believe? is that what you believe?"

remember you aren't attacking here, nor are you 'trying to rescue someone', but you're looking for answers. If your grandmother says yes to the above, she's saved - if you doubt it go look at the liturgy of the penitential rite (confession) - most nonliturgical types never engage in anything close to that level of repentance.

HOWEVER if your grandmother answers 'no' to the above questions, she's not only confused, but does indeed need you to talk to her about salvation, and only *then* might something like the so-called 'sinner's prayer' be appropriate. Remember you aren't 'correcting' catholic beliefs in this case, but merely leading someone to a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus which they may otherwise have missed along the way...and people like that (lost in the pew) can be found in any denomination.

Just my 2 cents' worth as an Anglican Protestant

[DouglasKC]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. There's no need for you to worry:

Joh 6:44 "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.
Joh 6:45 "It is written in the prophets, 'AND THEY SHALL ALL BE TAUGHT OF GOD.' Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father, comes to Me.

ALL shall be taught. Of those who are taught, EVERYONE who HEARS and LEARNS comes to Jesus. It has been, is, and will be your Grandmothers choice whether to hear or learn. Jesus guarantees that no matter what you do or don't do, she will be taught by him.