Conversion Journey update(Vanity)

[TheStickman]

After Mass today, the Deacon approached wife and I to tell us he had some *good news* regarding my wife's annulment paperwork. It seems her 1st marriage may be deemed invalid according to form. He then looks to me and tells me my annulment procedure (he and I have appointment this week to begin filling out the inital questionaire) will have to run the normal full course. No surprise there. However, he then tells us the parish priest wishes us to wait a full year (a year and a half or more actually) before attending RCIA classes. This means a 2 year wait for Confirmation into the Church. Does the priest take the time to tell us the reasons for this? Nope. The Deacon says something about keeping the classes from being disrupted (how in the world would our attendance be disruptive? We've already sat in on 2 classes) is the reason the parish priest wishes us to wait...but does the priest take any time to explain it all to us? Nope. I remain convinced I am being called to join the catholic Church of our Lord Jesus Christ. However, I am thouroughly confused about what in the world is going on here. The more I think about it, the angier and more confused I become. Having been around the block a time or 2 I find myself questioning if we are being *jerked around*. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions on how to procede. We appreciate your prayers and hope you will continue to remember us.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

What diocese are you in?

[TheStickman]

Diocese of Charleston, SC

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

I am pinging sinkspur. He is the only one I know of here who used to be on the diocesan tribunals. He should be able to tell you what is going on.

[TheStickman]

Thank you:)

[dsc]

Yo, Sticks, please just reflect that, whatever the situation, it's not the Catholic Church per se that's doing any jerking around, but just fallible humans.

I'm now completely at loggerheads with the priest who brought me into the Church, as he turned out to be a hard-core liberation theology red, pining for the day we have women priests.

However, I have also met many wonderful priests, nuns, and co-religionists along the way, and have never regretted coming into the Catholic Church for an instant.

Don't let'em get you down, or get you riled up, eh?

[TheStickman]

Oh I agree it's not the Church itself that's *doing* this per se. I'm hoping its just a huge misunderstanding via poor communication. My desire to become Catholic is not going to be lessened by the actions of others.

I did let it get me down earlier, I have to admit. Then I got very angry. Now I'm just hoping to understand and have God Guide me thru this. I'm just astounded that we might have to wait TWO years to be confirmed and a year and a half or more before starting RCIA.

[TheStickman]

satan can kiss my backside:)

I'm more determined than ever to see this thru, I assure ya. Appreciate your bringing up the possibility.

[Tax-chick]

One thing that comes to mind regarding the delay in starting RCIA officially is that you'll be assigned a sponsor fairly early in the process. When people change their minds, or when annulments take forever, as they always seem to, it is disturbing to the parishioners who have volunteered for this ministry. Maybe the pastor is concerned about this issue, or maybe the RCIA coordinator is a ... ahem ... stiff bureaucratic type, and would raise a stink over it.

I don't think that you should be help up for this reason. We had several cases in our last parish where people's confirmation was delayed for "technical reasons," and their sponsors stayed with them, kept in touch, and were there for the Sacraments, finally.

Maybe if you made an appointment with the pastor or deacon during their office hours, you'd have time to discuss it calmly, with no one surprised, rushed, or flustered?

Best wishes,

Cy

[TheStickman]

I have an appointment with the Deacon (it was scheduled before he dropped this *good news* bomb on us today) Tuesday. I've also written him today via email about our concerns and so has my wife.

Some clarity right now would sure go a long way:)

[Tantumergo]

It sounds to me that the priest wants to get your marriage situation rectified/convalidated before you join RCIA - it is important to remember that annulments are not foregone conclusions.

By waiting a year before joining RCIA, the situation with your annulments should be clearer, and then (Please God!) you will be able to formally begin the process of entering the Church without any impediment to partaking fully in the sacramental life.

In the meantime it sounds like you already desire full membership of the Church and so you need have no fear of untimely demise.

Although the process may seem interminable and frustrating while you are in the middle of it, you will appreciate having had things done in the right order in your years ahead.

We received two women into the Church last year who only disclosed their "marital irregularities" after joining the RCIA process. Unfortunately neither situation could be regularised. Both decided to continue and become Catholics at the Easter vigil, but neither has been able to receive Holy Communion so far - we can only hope that their respective (ex)husbands shuffle off this mortal coil before they do!

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Why are people desiring conversion held to Catholic doctrines on marriage when they were not Catholic nor married Catholic in the first place?

[Tantumergo]

"Why are people desiring conversion held to Catholic doctrines on marriage when they were not Catholic nor married Catholic in the first place?"

Because they are not just "Catholic doctrines" on marriage - it is Divine Law and it is immutable.

The Church recognises the validity of marriages among pagans, because although they are not Sacramental marriages, they are covenantal marriages in the eyes of God according to the Natural Law.

The covenant between man and woman in marriage is the most fundamental covenant after God's covenant with creation itself (hence the Genesis account where both covenants are related side by side in the creation narrative) and hence can never be taken lightly:

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder!"

Nevertheless there are annulment possibilities for non-Catholics becoming Catholic, which are not options for Catholics. Decisions may be arrived at "In favour of the Faith".

[sinkspur]

By waiting a year before joining RCIA, the situation with your annulments should be clearer, and then (Please God!) you will be able to formally begin the process of entering the Church without any impediment to partaking fully in the sacramental life.

Tantumergo is a very wise man.

This is not a tribunal issue; it is an RCIA issue.

RCIA involves catechetical instruction, with formal rites of the Church intervening, such as the Rite of Acceptance after the initial Inquiry, then the Catechumenate, then Mystogogia, culminating in the Rite of Full Acceptance. There are timeframes surrounding each of these steps in the RCIA.

What I would recommend is that you ask the pastor or the director of the RCIA program if you could just attend the sessions. You would likely have to attend them again, once your annulment becomes final, but you'd then have an even deeper knowledge of the Faith before you made your Final Profession.

Someone should have explained this to you, and invited you to attend the sessions anyway.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

I understand what you are saying but that is still the Catholic concept of marriage. Non-Catholics might accept all or part of those ideas but among other faiths divorce is still acceptable (although not favorable). This is the part I do not understand. A non-Catholic would not necessarily form a marriage of Catholic intention.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

The Church recognises the validity of marriages among pagans, because although they are not Sacramental marriages, they are covenantal marriages in the eyes of God according to the Natural Law.

Here's another point. What about atheists?

If a marriage is valid outside the Catholic Church then why the big problem with Catholics marrying in non-Catholic churches?

I'm not trying to be difficult, just looking for some logic which is escaping me thus far.

[dsc]

"A non-Catholic would not necessarily form a marriage of Catholic intention."

Marriages have been annulled because:

1.

"Did you intend to stay married until death?"
"No, I always had in my mind that if it didn't work out, I could get divorced."

2.

"Did you intend to have children?"
"Yes, but my wife lied to me. She knew she couldn't have children but told me she could."

[TheStickman]

ping to ya hun

[visualops]

Don't have time to complete my post now, but I will later.