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When I was young, I was a "good kid." The proudest moment of my life remains the day in elementary school when I took a bloody nose from three kids who were picking on a semi-retarded kid. I was raised Catholic, in a largely culturally Catholic home, although we did attend Church weekly. My dad was raised Catholic, my mother was raised non-practicing Anglican.

My spirit began to diminish in jr. high and almost collapsed in high school. A lack of good teaching combined with bad teaching, such as evolution and modern literature, as well as the sex-saturated popular culture, began to erode my character. In high school my two heroes were Jesus Christ and Mick Jagger. Talk about cognitive dissonance!

College introduced me to girls and partying, and things continued to spiral down, although to the outside world, I was a success, since I had a degree in engineering and I had an attractive (atheist) girlfriend.

When she dumped me after her graduation, I thought the world had come to an end. By this time I had figured out that I hated engineering (I chose the profession for the money and because I figured no one could tell me that 1 + 1 = 3). So at age 23 my mid-life crisis began. I began to search. My search began, strangely enough, with economics. I practically worshipped Milton Friedman since seeing his TV series in the late 70s. Finally I had found something that was true, and someone who wasn't afraid to speak it!

Meanwhile, my mother developed cancer. I went to a retreat that year. I had to ask a friend if he had a Bible that I could bring along, since our family didn't have one. My mother died, and the following year, my father died. It was a time of tremendous grief and isolation. During this time I went through an Objectivist phase, which I ultimately rejected because of Rand's atheism. But I couldn't counter her arguments. I examined many other modern philosophical systems, but found none of them satisfying.

Eventually, because of Milton's Friedman's influence, I began to look into the natural law, which ultimately led me to Thomas Aquinas. At last I had found the philosophical pearl of great price. I spent the next few years reading mostly Peter Kreeft and C.S. Lewis.

Today, 20 years later, my life revolves around Christ and His Church. Sometimes I wonder if I've changed (my childhood friends have noticed a difference), and then I remember that 20 years ago I was too embarrassed to go into a store to buy a Bible. I thought people would think I was a religious nut 8-)

I forgot to mention two important parts of my story. During my sophomore year in college, the week after I met my girlfriend, I clearly remember saying "thanks for everything God, but I have a beautiful girlfriend, and I'm going to make a lot of money when I graduate, so I'll get back to you on my deathbed."

I really said that. That moment marked the beginning of my slide, which didn't turn around until my parents' illnesses which I mention above.

My revival began my senior year in college when, in a state of total despair and confusion, I asked God to send me suffering. He answered my prayer, and sorted out my life.