BibChr writes:
I guess I have mixed feelings; I know the blind panic I anticipate I'd feel in my heart in the same conversation. He mostly seems to be concerned with patting himself on the back for having such a great relationship with his daughter, and being so mature and mellow ...
I had exactly the same feeling, and look with particular suspicion at this bit:
But the thing that pushed its way to the surface was a warning thought. “Be very careful with her. Listen to her. Don’t speak.” ... When someone is giving you their theology, their God words, you should listen hard and be very gentle. The time to deliver your God words is when you are asked.
I think that he probably does not listen much at all. He may be someone who dominates every conversation with his own emotional needs and shifting dramas.
To me, his self-congratulations had a rather familiar ring, because, alas, I have a background with alcoholics in my family. I can remember as a teenager going to counselling sessions, and listening, for a hour uninterrupted, while adult relatives talked about the importance of listening, of communicating, of relating to others rather than judging them. They would talk endlessly about it, pluming themselves on their sensitivity, yet apparently oblivious that they were preaching, and not listening at all. If anyone interrupts them in that mood, they can suddenly turn nasty, so soon no one does.
You're right--this father's comments read like a 12-step psychobabblist, not a man of any cloth, not like a father. Familiar ring indeed. We can only pray he comes to realize this and gives his daughter what she needs--the leadership of a parent.