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One of our friends was (is still) married to a man who believed all of this.

He keeps all of the family savings in an account that only he has access to. He, a gamefully employed computer programmer, would give her $300 per month for groceries, gas and food. This was supposed to cover expenses for her and the five kids. He forbid her to get a job. When she did, he sold her car.

He would routinely get her up at 2:00 am and lecture her for two hours about submission. He told me that in today's society, that if he tried to be the Biblical leader of the family (as he understood the Bible) he would be in jail.

She has slept with a knife under her pillow for last 5 years.

Moore said, a biblical view of male headship and gender roles actually protect against spousal and child abuse because it does not posit male privilege, but instead demands male responsibility.

Your friends husband has confused his maleness as a privilege rather than a responsibility.

He is not living according to Scriptures if he is treating his wife in that manner

Of course for that one nut case your friend is married to, there are millions of husbands who lead their homes like real loving husbands and Christians.

There is an element of men in the church whom I refer to as the "Taliban wing" of the Christian church.

These men have twisted Scripture into something alien; something that in their own minds gives them license to lord over women their superior physical strength and in the process, terrorize their families into cowering, fearful, unhappy victims. These are men who generally have very low self-esteem, have issues with women that have not been resolved through therapy, and derive enormous satisfaction from behaving like power nazis in their own homes- the only place where the behavior is tolerated.

These are men who are living in sin- they are not living according to the Scriptural mandates for the roles of men and women in marriage, but according to their own fantasies of the "lowly" status of women, and their own perceived superiority.

Nowhere in Scripture can any validation of this behavior be found. I hope that your friend's situation can be made better at some point. She may have to leave the jerk.