Amazing the lengths to which some will go to avoid the "Truth".
THE UNITARIAN PRAYER
O God
(If there is a God)
Save my soul
(If I have a soul)
Festivus!
Midwest Conservative Journal has a good post about this.
I looked at the Non Theistic Liturgy site and am still laughing about it. Check out the " Winter Solstice Celebration of Darkness"
Litany
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: It helps me fall asleep.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: Only when a seed is in the dark will it sprout.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: Some of my best visions come when I close my eyes.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: Only in the darkest parts of the country can I see the stars clearly.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: It brings relief from heat as I cross a desert.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: Only when it is really dark can our body produce the hormone melatonin which fights diseases.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: Many animals thrive within the protective cover of darkness.
One: Darkness is a blessing.
Many: We developed in the darkness of our mother's womb.
All: Truly darkness is a blessing.
[Major lights in the room may be extinguished if there are some light sources for people to negotiate movement or lights may be dimmed.]
Oh yeah I can just imagine the hush of anticipation and the enthusiasm of the congregation as they recite this litany. At the end maybe they should rule a yule log down the church aisle and toss flaming fir branches into the pews.
See, Alex?
This is why it isn't cool to fail to put satire labels: Reality is a lot stranger, and funnier, than Lark News; Lark News isn't so much comedy as simply things which are wierd but untrue.
I mean, come on, isn't this WAY funnier and wierder than Lark News?
I reached a point in my life, shortly after college, where I recognized that the God we were all talking about was not the same. I reading theological and philosophical literature, I realized that the two main perspectives were the deistic and theistic. Once I got that, it was easy for me to see the pitfalls of deism, which had more to do with ideology rather than theology. I recognized that I was indeed a theist. After that it was clear to me which road I had to follow.
May God have mercy! ... I knew an English teacher in college who raised to high position with the Episcopal Church, even helping to rewrite the Book of Common Prayer ... she would love this garbage were she still alive.