OP here...
Keep coming with the comments. This is extremely helpful!
Just a point of clarification...
We were married in a Congregationalist church. The Reverend allowed us to customize the ceremony, with his overall approval.
RMWT,
Did you get a dispensation from your bishop for the wedding to take place there? The absence of a dispensation is probably at issue here, since you were married in a Christian church. If you had the dispensation to do this, then the marriage is both valid and sacramental, as both you and your wife, presumably, were already baptized. Nothing further will need to be done. If you did not have the dispensation, then the marriage will need to be convalidated, or “blessed.” This is a straightforward thing, and can be done even before your wife formally converts, since she is already a baptized Christian. The Catholic Church considers Herself to have jurisdiction of the sacramental marriages of Her members, and that is why a dispensation was needed. Without it, the Church was out of the loop, so to speak, and a “defect from canonical form” existed with the marriage.
In that case as I believe has been stated by magesterium you would need a dispensation to have your marriage regarded as valid. It has nothing to do with your wife being non Catholic but with the fact that you a Catholic, were not married in the Church before a priest and at least two witnesses. Once you are validly married you will able to join in the full sacramental life of the Church.
The graces that will pour into your marriage and family from this will strengthen the bond you have with each other and with Christ. What a blessing for you both.
As for your wife being concerned that this means the marriage never happened I don’t think this is the Church’s view. It is a legal marriage just not a sacramental one.