Posted on 09/12/2007 9:05:47 AM PDT by topcat54
Osama’s Inter-Cave Memo
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2007 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We’ve all been putting in long hours but we’ve really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says “There is no I in team” as well as the one that says
“Hang In There, Baby.” That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can’t forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it’s good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don’t want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.
I’ve posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it’s not often I make a video address but when I do, I’m trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we’re taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we’re taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we’re not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We’re all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote “Osama” on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
Consideration. That’s all I’m saying.
Finally, we’ve heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Death to infidels,
Osama
INDEED.
"It is the unanimous opinion of your Committee that Dispensationalism as defined and set forth above is out of accord with the system of the doctrine set forth in the Confession of Faith, not primarily or simply in the field of eschatology, but because it attacks the very heart of the Theology of our Church, which is unquestionably a Theology of one Covenant of Grace."
So I take it that their "Confession of Faith" and "Covenant Theology" are their sacred cows, not Sola Scriptura.
So even Prostestants have their sacred Confessions and Theologies and Traditions before which even scripture must bow, just like the Roman Catholic Church. And God forbid that any scripture or any event or anyone or God Himself dare to challenge those sacred cows.
That sounds to me like the way it was amongst the religious elites in Israel at Jesus's first coming --
Hey topcat, are you aware of the dominion based stuff coming out of the prophetic movement? Some really great practical applications of Kingdom principles happening there.
Bill Johnson has a book, ‘When Heaven Invades Earth’ that’s awesome, and Lance Wallnau has a teaching that he’s been promoting called ‘The 7 Mountain Strategy’ that outlines a strategic mandate for taking the ‘high places’ of societal control for the Kingdom. Very cool.
Also, Global Harvest Ministries has incorporated said 7 mountain mandate into their organizational structure, and Chuch Pierce has been promoting a prayer focus and strategy for a positioning into true dominion over the next 7 years.
While nobody is actually saying ‘postmillenialism’ outright, the result is the same- and in fact, we’re doing more than just arguing eschatology. Whole institutions of nations have already been affected, such as the prison system in Colombia, and the legal system in Guatemala, within the last year. We’re learning the blueprint.
Just thought you’d like to know, you Reformed guys aren’t alone!
I made an observation to my wife several weeks ago that our church now hands out back packs for the beginning school year, meals at Thanksgiving, toys for Christmas and a host of other event such as clothing drives. Yet never do I recall our church handing out or distributing Bibles. We do support a number of missionaries and we have started a number of churches. The church is growing by all measures and we have a large expansion project underway. Yet we don't hand out the word of God.
My wife says her school has closets full of back packs but their is no evidence of where they came from. What type of witness are we doing?
I suppose it's easier to rally people to a "Christian" cause by finding a dispensationalist villian than it is to simply preach that people are going to go to hell unless they turn to Christ.
Islamic Family Values:
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. Let’s say that you’re a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here’s the question and think carefully before you answer the question below:
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Which lens would you use?
I would risk life and limb to drag him to the safety of dry land.
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The US Government has a $250,000,000 bounty on his head!!!!!! Dead or alive, you're gonna need that body.
Not exactly, since the Confession itself says, "The supreme judge by which all controversies of religion are to be determined, and all decrees of councils, opinions of ancient writers, doctrines of men, and private spirits, are to be examined, and in whose sentence we are to rest, can be no other but the Holy Spirit speaking in the Scripture." (WCF 1:6) (You might want to read the 1st chapter in its entirety to get the sense of the Reformed view of Scripture vs. confession.)
That sounds to me like the way it was amongst the religious elites in Israel at Jesus's first coming –
I take it your actual experience with real Reformed/confessional churches is somewhat limited/nonexistent.
Dr. Seuss’ Story of “The Binch”
Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don’t ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.
“They’re doing their business,” he snarled from his perch.
“They’re raising their families! They’re going to church!
They’re leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
I MUST keep the S’s and U’s from surviving!”
Tomorrow, he knew, all the U’s and the S’s,
Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
They’d go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
And abide by their U and S values and rules,
And then they’d do something he liked least of all,
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand all united, each U and each S,
And they’d sing Uville’s anthem, “God bless us! God bless!”
All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they’d stand,
and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
“I must stop that singing,” Binch said with a smirk,
And he had an idea—an idea that might work!
The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
“They’ll wake to disaster!” he snickered, so sour,
“And how can they sing when they can’t find a tower?”
The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
Instead he heard something that started quite low,
And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow—
And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
And he couldn’t believe it—they started to sing!
He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any towers at all!
He HADN’T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
And you can’t smash the towers we hold deep inside.
So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
And we mourn for our losses while knowing we’ll cope,
For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It’s more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!
Perhaps it takes years to build worldly organizations to attempt to evangelize to the entire world by worldly mechanisms, but evangelism doesn't take years.
Evangelism is simply a spiritual gift provided by God the Holy Spirit to some believers as a communication gift of the gospel to unbelievers.
Evangelism, in the strictest sense of the word, may happen on a moment's notice, and only through faith in Christ and at the grace of God. It is a mechanism which sometimes reveals itself to some witnesses as a spiritual perception within the gifted believer to communicate in a fashion to the unbeliever so that he might understand the meaning of the Gospel. Evangelism is NOT an academic exercise. It is a spiritual gift, NOT a soulish gift.
There are many today who not only confuse evangelism with the physical and soulish activities of talking about the Gospel, but fail to perceive the spiritual significance of that which they speak. That failure has encouraged others to counterfeit that gift with worldly institutions, again counterfeiting His Body.
All that is needed is simple faith in Him, and He provides the rest.
Place it in God's hands, evangelize through faith in Him and let Him handle it. No amount of rationalism is sufficient to communicate the Gospel, because the Gospel is not Rationalism.
I once saw a 2-holer there, does that count? ;^)
So I take it that their "Confession of Faith" and "Covenant Theology" are their sacred cows, not Sola Scriptura.
No, not really. R. Scott Clark is probably the guy to read right now on Reformed confessionalism. (And possibly useful links here.)
BTW, the referenced document (1944 PCUS Report on Dispensationalism) is well worth reading through. It's only about 4 pages long. The classic dispensationalism they found objectionable (and I do too) is still around, every bit of it.
***That’s among the corny statements I’ve seen on FR.*** ~ xzins
That is because, perhaps, I was having to respond to one of the most idiotic statements I’ve seen. I certainly don’t think that Islam is “bad” for Christianity. After all, I happen to believe the Bible and the Word of God. And it says: “All things are YOURS.”
***Maybe that is because Dispensationalist Christians are the ones who will be killed off first when radical Islam takes over Europe and creeps into the rest of Western Civilization. I’m sure all the reconstructionists and preterists and replacement theologiists will get along just fine under Sharia.*** ~ P-Marlowe
Whatever!!!
Only a Dispensationalist would think that the spread of anything was bad for Christianity, even if it directly contradicts the Bible.
Here in Biblical Christianity, I believe in sovereign Lord who is never in defeat, even in death. If you Dispies want to believe that death is a defeat, then that is your affair. I believe that nothing in this life or the next can diminish the kingdom of God or cause the Lord to change his plans. All things are mine, gifts from God.
And, if you want to believe that it is Dispensational Christians who are the ones in the missions, then that is your affair as well. And, yes, if the Lord is pleased to let “Sharia” seem to rule for a bit, then, we Biblical Christians will get along just fine, just as we did under the Roman empire. You Dispies can run for the hills and wait for the rapture if you must. “Sharia,” just like Satan, are nothing more than wicked pawns who, even as they attempt to work evil, are furthing the kingdom of God and his purposes.
I’ll argue that point. We are anot talking a few thousand people. It does take years to open the hearts of a whole society/culture. There is no way we could “convert” about 18% of the worlds’ population ( current Muslim numbers ) in one generation and I am afraid that until we get at least half of them we will be fighting them.
Do you realize that you told me once never to post to you again?
***But Christians should have faith that the word of God transforms lives and continents.***
It does seem to me that at least some of the Dispensationalists here don’t believe that or, at least, don’t believe it if Islam is in control.
Why? We wouldn't want some facts to get in the way of her bias.
Let’s just keep things in perspective. There is only one person who converts another to God through faith in Christ. That conversion is solely the work of God, the Holy Spirit.
If conversion were merely an exercise in rationalism, your argument might be understandable, but from the perspective of the spirit, which is the significance of eternal life for the human, the conversion is only performed by God.
Every soul on the face of the planet might not have relationship with God and if at least one came to Him through faith in Christ, then there is nothing in God’s Prophecy which hasn’t been fulfilled which would keep the Rapture from being eminent.
With respect to national policy, I agree that far less suffering and misery will ensue if we remain in fellowship with Him in all things and do not promote rebellion from Him, either within our nation or by others.
IMHO, a main reason the US is so targeted by Muslim extremism is that we have sewn those seeds during the Cold War, foolishly believing we were performing good by encouraging a Green Line of Islam to form south of the Soviet Union to prevent them from gaining a warm water port. The worldly perspective of playing one enemy against another by condoning others to belief in a false doctrine has now matured to attack us.
We get ahead of ourselves by believing our agenda is necessarily His, when we confuse conversion with the Great Commission.
The only point I assert is that we are not the one’s converting, it is the work of God. Our work is simply to spread the Gospel while remaining in fellowship with Him.
IMHO, we may have our hands full going back to basics and reaffirming our own nation is walking in accordance with His will, before counting how many foreign nations we might ‘convert’. Even worse than not spreading the Gospel, is to entertain the notion that we are the ones converting or any human institution is converting others to faith in Christ.
That is the work of the Holy Spirit, not to be confused with spreading the Gospel, which is in the Great Commission.
Substituting any other into the act of conversion is simply a counterfeit mechanism to His Plan, which is parlayed into evil by the Adversary.
I agree with you on the root of our problem and by “convert” I mean to spread the word to non-believers. Alas, but as we speak missionaries are targeted in Muslim countries and despite their herculean efforts to pass the Gospel I feel they are not making much headway today and so our hope to expose those people to the Word and hope for their “conversion” will not happen in my life time and we will keep fighting.
I also agree that our country needs to take a step back and look at ourselves. We are not the ( for lack of a better word ) “Godly” nation we once were.
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