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How to make friends with non-Mormons [aka "How to make friends with a gentile"]
The Salt Lake Tribune ^ | 12/22/2007 | Robert Kirby

Posted on 01/17/2008 9:44:33 AM PST by Alex Murphy

Because I'm a Mormon, I will pick on Mormons first. Frankly, a lot of us are mired so deep in the LDS culture that we haven't a clue how to make friends with people who aren't carbon copies of us.

Today's column is a primer on how to make friends with a gentile. A problem exists in large part because of how we categorize other people. There's the word - non, gentile, other - that we use to refer to people who aren't us. Sometimes we never get past it.

For example, my friend Sonny is a non-Mormon. For some Mormons, that would be the first thing Sonny is. For stupid Mormons, it's the only thing he ever will be.

Sonny is other stuff, too. Mostly he's nuts. This makes him the perfect friend for me. The only time religion ever comes between us is when I pray while Sonny does whatever the hell it is that normal people call driving.

Not all Mormons are fortunate to have such high-quality non-Mormon friends. Well, they don't just happen. You have to make them. But first, you have to recognize the need.

Next time you're having a party, look around the room. How many non-Mormons do you see? If most of the people in the room are from your ward, you need some gentile in your life. Bad.

No fair using token gentiles, either. Co-workers, neighbors and the guy who fixes your car do not count. They have to be real friends, the sort of people you want to hang with.

The first thing you need to do is get over your booze phobia. Not all gentiles drink, but enough of them do, so you can't let this be a sticking point in a friendship.

Alcohol is not inherently bad. Overindulgence is bad. And that's something that cuts both ways. You don't want a drunk for a friend any more than a gentile wants a priss for one. If you draw the line at offering alcohol to your new friend, at least learn what BYOB means. I have to bring my own diet Coke to Sonny's house.

Next, be prepared for the conversation to wander outside the ward boundaries. Lots of really interesting people don't have a clue what happened in Relief Society last week, and they don't count it as a loss.

Be respectful of your friends' religious beliefs. They might be Catholic, Druid, Jewish or, heck, maybe even Southern Baptist. Belief is relative, and yours is every bit as bizarre.

And cool it with the missionary effort, OK? The only thing that ruins a friendship faster than sex, money or politics is religion. Frankly, if your friend ever does choose to convert, it's always better if it's in spite of rather than because of you.

It won't be easy. You can't treat making friends with gentiles like another church assignment. The common interest doesn't come built in. You have to find it.

Best of all, it will be worth it.


TOPICS: Ministry/Outreach; Other Christian; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: mormonvote
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Today's column is a primer on how to make friends with a gentile. A problem exists in large part because of how we categorize other people. There's the word - non, gentile, other - that we use to refer to people who aren't us. Sometimes we never get past it...

...Not all Mormons are fortunate to have such high-quality non-Mormon friends. Well, they don't just happen. You have to make them. But first, you have to recognize the need...

...No fair using token gentiles, either. Co-workers, neighbors and the guy who fixes your car do not count. They have to be real friends, the sort of people you want to hang with...

1 posted on 01/17/2008 9:44:34 AM PST by Alex Murphy
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To: Alex Murphy

2 posted on 01/17/2008 9:53:56 AM PST by angkor ("We are not very many mistakes away from a second Holocaust." Newt Gingrich, Nov 15 2007)
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To: Alex Murphy
Sorry, as an LDS member I find parts of this article significantly erroneous and misleading...at least from my perspective.

a lot of us are mired so deep in the LDS culture that we haven't a clue how to make friends with people who aren't carbon copies of us.

Christ's teachings are the answer for any Christian of any denomination or faith in terms of their daily walk with those around them.

  1. Love God.
  2. Keep His commandments.
  3. Love your neighbor as yourself.
  4. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
  5. Do well to those who despitefully use you.
  6. Turn the other cheek.
  7. Go with them twain.
  8. Take upon yourself Christ's yoke...for it is light.
My experience is that when I act this way (ie...the way Christ himself would act) to my neighbors, co-workers, etc...that friendship follows.

That's what the Church teaches...that's what it's "culture" is all about.

3 posted on 01/17/2008 9:57:46 AM PST by Jeff Head (Freedom is not free...never has been, never will be. (www.dragonsfuryseries.com))
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To: Alex Murphy

TO ALL WHO WANT TO HELP US TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT CHRIST AND HOW HE GUIDES HIS PEOPLE ON EARTH.

If this thread is like most others that have anything to do with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or as we are more often called, the Mormons, it will soon be taken over by those who, for reasons of their own, choose to put down my Church, and those of us who worship with it.

We find no problem with people who really want to talk to us about converting to their religion, we spend a lot of time doing it ourselves.

What we find offensive is when people leave out part of the truth to make a half-true lie , or when some one renames something, that we find important or sacred, so it sounds like gutter talk.

I do not know how to tell the difference all the time. There are some Handles that keep showing up, and they are easy to spot. Sometimes, though, I have given a hard and not so kind response to some who honestly care for us and our salvation.

Please forgive us if we get you mixed up.

Thanks for your time,
fred


4 posted on 01/17/2008 10:55:12 AM PST by fproy2222 (Study both sides.)
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To: fproy2222

I have just come from one of those threads where it was a non-stop bash fest.


5 posted on 01/17/2008 1:21:08 PM PST by killermedic ("Est Sularus uth Mithas")
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To: Alex Murphy

This article was humor and not meant to be taken too seriously, but it does have truths in it.

Bugs the bat crap out of me when I hear a fellow LDS Member say something like “oh I won’t hang out with non-members”...I seriously want to smack em up side the head sometimes.


6 posted on 01/17/2008 1:34:53 PM PST by Domandred (Eagles soar, but unfortunately weasels never get sucked into jet engines)
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To: Alex Murphy

Funny article, Alex.


7 posted on 01/17/2008 4:35:00 PM PST by greyfoxx39 (Mitt willingly gives up his personal freedoms to his church..why would he protect YOURS!)
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To: Alex Murphy
Today's column is a primer on how to make friends with a gentile

Well...THAT line got a ROFLOL!! out of me...

Congrats..!!

8 posted on 01/17/2008 4:37:00 PM PST by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is blacker, than the devils riding boots.................)
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To: Jeff Head
Jeff.....

I'm not familiar with the following..

"Go with them twain.".....

What does that mean?

9 posted on 01/17/2008 4:39:34 PM PST by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is blacker, than the devils riding boots.................)
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To: fproy2222
What we find offensive is when people leave out part of the truth to make a half-true lie , or when some one renames something, that we find important or sacred, so it sounds like gutter talk.

Heck....Fproy....the same could be said for the young men...that have come to my door for the last 30 years.

BTW, why haven't any young women knocked on my door? My daughters asked me that...and I've no answer.

10 posted on 01/17/2008 4:42:44 PM PST by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is blacker, than the devils riding boots.................)
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To: Domandred
Bugs the bat crap out of me when I hear a fellow LDS Member say something like “oh I won’t hang out with non-members”...I seriously want to smack em up side the head sometimes

Can't say...I've not thought the same.

I've often said/thought....it appears from my study that my Lord...was more comfortable around the "real people"...not the "religious" among us.

Seems that some of these "religious folk" don't understand how to really minister to those that want, and need.....

11 posted on 01/17/2008 4:48:33 PM PST by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is blacker, than the devils riding boots.................)
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To: Osage Orange; Jeff Head

In the time of the Roman occupation of Jerusalem and the Middle East it was custom for a Roman soldier to command a Jewish boy or young man to carry his ‘kit’ for a specified distance. This was like a law which Jesish men/youngmen had to follow. The saying ‘twain’ refers to ‘go the extra mile’, carry the kit for two not just the required one.


12 posted on 01/17/2008 4:49:20 PM PST by MHGinTN (Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
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Jesish = Jewish ... tired fingers.


13 posted on 01/17/2008 4:50:39 PM PST by MHGinTN (Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN
Thanks,.....MHG.

I appreciate you....

14 posted on 01/17/2008 4:51:04 PM PST by Osage Orange (Hillary's heart is blacker, than the devils riding boots.................)
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To: Osage Orange

You are most welcome. I trust Jeff won’t mind my stepping in with that. He can probably give you a more detailed explanation.


15 posted on 01/17/2008 4:53:06 PM PST by MHGinTN (Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN; greyfoxx39
I find the misuse (and misunderstanding) of the word "Gentile" hilarious:

Gentile

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of a non-Jewish nation; one neither a Jew nor a Christian; belonging to the nations at large, as distinguished from the Jews.

People can write on this thread that a mule is really a dog - it doesn't make it so.

16 posted on 01/17/2008 5:04:15 PM PST by SkyPilot
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To: SkyPilot

I have often laughed at the fact that only a mormon would call a Jew a “gentile”.


17 posted on 01/17/2008 5:08:19 PM PST by greyfoxx39 (Mitt willingly gives up his personal freedoms to his church..why would he protect YOURS!)
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To: MHGinTN; Osage Orange
No prob and thanks for the explanation MHGinTN. It was very good...short, to the point.

...and the point as taught by our Savior is simple...if you are compelled to go a mile...go a second (or twain). That is what He taught, and I believe He meant for us to do it willingly with a good heart as an example and opportunity to touch hearts.

18 posted on 01/17/2008 7:17:05 PM PST by Jeff Head (Freedom is not free...never has been, never will be. (www.dragonsfuryseries.com))
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To: Osage Orange; Jeff Head
"Go with them twain.".....What does that mean?

I believe it's something like "if a man forces you to walk a mile in his moccasins, walk two miles. That way, you're even further away from him then he wanted, and you've managed to keep his shoes, too."

19 posted on 01/17/2008 7:42:15 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("Therefore the prudent keep silent at that time, for it is an evil time." - Amos 5:13)
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To: Domandred

You funny that is all I hang out with is non LDS!


20 posted on 01/17/2008 7:42:29 PM PST by restornu (Understanding that Grace and Mercy is what one receives after all they can do!)
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