LOL! And a wisteria plant.
I have a wisteria that is (1) constantly trying to devour the south side of my deck and (2) spreading little baby wisterias everywhere.
The only good news is that it is a white cultivar so it's not as invasive as the purple kind and I can stay ahead of it.
Of course, I still have to deal with the seedlings that migrate from all the purple wild wisteria in the woods up behind us . . . .
All in all, I'd rather have a kitten!