Making Mormon 'Spirit' Babies [Ecumenic]

Mormons believe that when one becomes a god over his own planet and gets his many polygamous, goddess wives, they must reproduce spirit children, having sex the same way they did on earth [remember, they are physical beings]. But in order to populate a planet like earth, the god-man has a big job cut out for him in the reproducing area.

Forgetting about any of his other responsibilities as a god, look at the job of just making babies and keeping his wives eternally pregnant…

Demographers have come up with estimates ranging between 69 billion and 110 billion humans who have lived on earth. That gives us a spread of 41 billion, a pretty formidable margin of error.

Another study says: 106,456,367,669 is the number of people who have ever been born

Let’s assume for simple math that there have been 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion people who have lived and are yet to live on the earth before then end of time.

For purposes of a simple mathematical look at the idea of sexually producing pre-existent spirit beings to people the next earth, the LDS man who becomes a god, would have his hands full. working at a high speed assembly line rate and assuming that every single ‘encounter’ produces a spirit child.

If you estimate that as a god, one would have godly super powers, so if the rate is ONECELESTIAL IMPREGNATION EVERY 5 MINUTES = 12 PER HOUR = 288 DAY = [NOT COUNTNGTHE SABBATH, LDS DAY OF REST] 1728 IMPREGNANTIONS EVERY WEEK = 89,856 PER YEAR. Assuming he is able to say hello, arrange the physical situation, impregnate the wife, and be at the next goddess in less than 5 minutes, the maximum goddesses would have to be about 90,000 with another non sexual 10,000 to 20,000 or so to take care of the babies for the goddess wives who rush back into this baby factory assembly line. This is not counting bathroom breaks, eating or sleeping…

Let’s assume that this man god is working day and night at just his reproductive responsibilities of one goddess every 5 minutes, it would take 11 million, 128,917 years of nonstop, vigorous sexual action to create all the spirit beings for a place like earth.

A more laid back god who might want to spend some quality time with his “families are forever” wives and children would perhaps like to give them each one hour of his entire year and get one impregnation at the family home. He would have to spend 12 times as many years….over 133 million years at the rate of one impregnation per hour.

No wonder a recent speech delivered by LDS Relief Society President Julie Beck about LDS women’s place to be at home, cooking, cleaning and raising children resulted in a written rebuff by hundreds of LDS women in attendance.

Types of threads and guidelines pertaining to the Religion Forum: Prayer threads are closed to debate of any kind. Devotional threads are closed to debate of any kind.

Caucus threads are closed to any poster who is not a member of the caucus.

If it says “Catholic Caucus” and you are not Catholic, do not post to the thread. However, if the poster of the caucus invites you, I will not boot you from the thread. The “caucus” article and posts must not compare beliefs or speak in behalf of a belief outside the caucus.

Ecumenic threads are closed to all “anti” arguments.

Posters may express the beliefs they are “for” but not those they are “against.” They may also ask questions. Posters who try to tear down other’s beliefs – or use subterfuge to accomplish the same goal – are the disrupters on ecumenic threads and will be booted from the thread and/or suspended. Do not “pick at scabs” by mentioning prior “open” threads. If you need to make a point previously made on an “open” thread, summarize it anew.

Open threads are a town square – posters may argue for or against beliefs of any kind.

They may tear down other's beliefs. They may ridicule, similar to the Smoky Backroom with the exception that a poster must never “make it personal.” Reading minds and attributing motives are forms of “making it personal.” Thin-skinned posters will be booted from “open” threads because in the town square, they are the disrupters.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.