As far as the garce/works "debate" this is what I find so interesting. Your church is like a tone deaf musician, you can play the notes but can't make the music.
It is not by works we are saved, it is by our works we are known to be saved. Grace saves us period:
Ephesians 2:7-10
7That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
That seems pretty clear to me.
Because of our acceptance of God's gift of grace we do good works, not as a requirement for entrance into the kingdom, but because we want to share the joy and love. The Holy Spirit fills our souls and our love comes through in our actions. Yes, we will be known by our works, know as ones who truly accepted the gift so freely given among all of God's people.
James says it best...
James 2:14-18
14What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
15If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
16And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
17Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
18Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will show thee my faith by my works.
1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.
...
14 And let our's also learn to maintain good works for necessary uses, that they be not unfruitful. [Paul teaches that there is a difference in fruitfulness and supposed works of righteousness. Good works bring fruitfulness AFTER THE PERSON IS IN CHRIST A NEW CREATION. Such a new creation will God in no wise stand before the same judgment seat where the dead in tresspasses and sins are to be judged according to their works.]
Mormons CANNOT accept that simple fact.
The "great work" that the mormon church does in their temples depends upon the "requirements" (ie. baptism, endowments, sealing for eternity, etc.) being performed for the dead, as well as the living.
The aim of the membership of the LDS church is to be "temple worthy" in order to take part in these rituals which are a necessity in order to gain "exaltation". Temple "worthiness" requires obedience and bowing to LDS authority as seen in these questions for acquiring a "temple recommend":
1 Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?
2 Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?
3 Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?
4 Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?
5 Do you live the law of chastity?
6 Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?
7 Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
8 Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?
9 Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?
10 Are you a full-tithe payer?
11 Do your keep the Word of Wisdom?
12 Do you have financial or other oblgations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?
13 If you have previously received your temple endowment:
Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple?
Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?
14 Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?
15 Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?
Pay attention to No. 14: "Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?
"Sins and misdeeds" are to be resolved with men.
I believe that my sins and misdeeds are to be resolved by a MUCH higher authority.