Posted on 07/16/2009 9:29:26 PM PDT by ROTB
But love conquers all - you should go, and be kind and gracious.
are you kidding.... do you love your sister less for being divorced?geez...
I don’t know, what’s on the menu?
Your job is not to send a message, it’s to live the Gospel. The Gospel says that no matter how bad of a sinner you are, God is offering you the free gift of grace.
You going to the wedding is not condoning it God’s eyes: your opinion of another’s actions really isn’t that important to him.
But going to the wedding is showing you love your sister: your love of others is very important to God.
Was Jesus invited by your jewish sister?
For the question to even arise, I suspect that there are issues between you and your sister that go far beyond just this. And until you iron out those issues, you are going to face similar questions in the future, perhaps for the rest of your lives.
I have known people who were masterful at grudges, and never forgot a perceived slight, even after 60 years. Their petty, self-righteous bitterness demanded allegiance from their spouses and children, further poisoning the well.
And in the end, it was all consuming, eclipsing their humanity and reducing them to caricature in memory.
It's not. We invented the pre-nup.
Good questions.
I was somewhat disappointed when my little sister had premarital sex. The synopsis is this: they got pregnant and then rushed into marriage. I did attend their wedding, but I didn’t know the guy well at all.
And while God was merciful in that He allowed them to bring my nephew to term, and to work in both their lives, they are not free of the consequences of what they did.
Some people have said don’t be judgmental and point out how forgiving Jesus was; they fail to realize that He also drove the money-changers out of the temple with a whip and, when he returns, it will be with a sword of judgment.
In effect you are facing the same dilemma that God faced: hating evil and loving people. His solution was Jesus, to conquer evil with good. I honestly don’t know how you can apply this, but you can do it whether you stay home or attend.
Consider how your absence might hurt her and others on this happy day.
Then decide if that is what you really want to do.
That’s a tough call. If it bothers your conscience that she isn’t free, then dont go. Obviously she might be hurt if you don’t.
Attendance doesn’t always signify approval. Go. I think Jesus would attend. It would send a louder message and perhaps not the message you want to convey if you were absent. Your absence would be noted.
Hope this helps.
You should go and wish them both the best.
Go and tell your sister you love her. Go and dance and be happy that your sister is starting anew.
Let your blessings be free and plentiful.
She is your sister.
Did she divorce because she wanted to or was it his idea? Either way, she is your sister. You can let her know of your disapproval of divorce without trashing a familial relationship.
Call up her fiance and give him all the dish about how she dumped on her previous husband. Maybe even throw in the time she got you in trouble as kids. Then you may not have a decision to make. Seriously, I don’t see what’s to be gained by not going. Just don’t go overboard on the gift or do the chicken dance at the reception.
If I were you, I’d check the menu, wine list and who the band is first.
If the food is good (no cheap grocery store “party platters” with processed “cheese”) and the wine doesn’t come in a box, you might want to go. And it should be real Champagne, not some crappy “sparkling wine”. If it’s Korbel or worse,...dont’ go.
Will it be a sit down dinner with waiters and a choice of entree’s or a cheap buffet with lots of pasta salad? You might want to skip that.
What about vegetarian entree’s or Kosher?
So much to think about. Good luck.
The important issue is: What can you do to bring your sister or other people to an appreciation of the truth?
One extreme: You don’t go, and as a result, your sister sees the light and doesn’t go through with this marriage.
Other extreme: You don’t go, and your sister is so enraged that she spends the rest of her life campaigning for easier divorce and serial marriage.
Or, you go, and your sister takes this as your endorsement of easy divorce and serial marriage.
Or, you go, and your sister is so touched by your loyalty that she begs you to explain your beliefs to her, etc.
The likely outcome is going to fall somewhere short of something dramatic. But the main consideration is, What can you do that will best lead your sister in the direction of the truth. No one who does not have at least as much information as you have can say You MUST not go, or You MUST go.
Jesus drove out the money changers, he insulted the Pharisees, he condemned the Saduccees. Why? Because these were people in authority preying upon those under them.
He wasn't just going around yelling at people, telling them they had no hope, driving them from his presense.
Matthew the tax collector, the woman at the well, the Samaritan woman: these were people those in authority sneered at and Jesus loved.
Which category do you think his sister falls into?
Actually, divorce for a bad reason IS a sin. Or, it can be a sin for one party, and not for the other.
I actually don’t mind crackers and cheese.
Agree on the cheap buffet w/pasta salad, though. Definitely want to skip that.
I’d go and demonstrate the love that Jesus has for sinners. We’re all sinners, every last one of us.
Pray for her and her new husband, it’s what the Lord would have us do — especially the one who told us, “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”
Pray for her and hope that one day she will receive Christ and repent of her sins.
She is not a Christian, so your sister doesn’t even believe in the Lord, much less what He told us about divorce.
Some of the most touching testimonies I’ve heard are from people who said that their loved ones never gave up on them — that they constantly prayed for them even while they rejected the Gospel. And one day it hits them, that they are seeing Christ at work through His followers — and they themselves end up receiving Christ.
Love her, pursue her go the extra mile.
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