To: Ruy Dias de Bivar
Lol! Revisionism is cool...and necessary to draw in viewers in a story about a fake "prophet".
Personally, I think the mormons should make a movie about the TRUTH, only. (As if that would ever happen).
Here are some groovy fictional concepts from a fake-prophet to help build a truthful storyline:
ALL QUOTED FROM HERE
- God was once a man like us.
- God has a tangible body of flesh and bone.
- God lives on a planet near the star Kolob.
- God ("Heavenly Father") has at least one wife, our "Mother in Heaven," but she is so holy that we are not to discuss her nor pray to her.
- Jesus was married.
- We can become like God and rule over our own universe.
- There are many gods, ruling over their own worlds.
- Jesus and Satan ("Lucifer") are brothers, and they are our brothers - we are all spirit children of Heavenly Father
- Jesus Christ was conceived by God the Father by having sex with Mary, who was temporarily his wife.
- We should not pray to Jesus, nor try to feel a personal relationship with him.
- The "Lord" ("Jehovah") in the Old Testament is the being named Jesus in the New Testament, but different from "God the Father" ("Elohim").
- In the highest degree of the celestial kingdom some men will have more than one wife.
- Before coming to this earth we lived as spirits in a "pre-existence", during which we were tested; our position in this life (whether born to Mormons or savages, or in America or Africa) is our reward or punishment for our obedience in that life.
- Dark skin is a curse from God, the result of our sin, or the sin of our ancestors. If sufficiently righteous, a dark-skinned person will become light-skinned.
- The Garden of Eden was in Missouri. All humanity before the Great Flood lived in the western hemisphere. The Ark transported Noah and the other survivors to the eastern hemisphere.
- Not only will human beings be resurrected to eternal life, but also all animals - everything that has ever lived on earth - will be resurrected and dwell in heaven.
- Christ will not return to earth in any year that has seen a rainbow.
- Mormons should avoid traveling on water, since Satan rules the waters.
- The sun receives its light from the star Kolob.
- If a Gentile becomes Mormon, the Holy Ghost actually purges his Gentile blood and replaces it with Israelite blood.
- A righteous Mormon will actually see the face of God in the Mormon temple.
- You can identify a false angel by the color of his hair, or by offering to shake his hand.
To: NoRedTape; colorcountry; Colofornian; Elsie; FastCoyote; svcw; Zakeet; SkyPilot; rightazrain; ...
12 posted on
08/30/2009 11:38:06 AM PDT by
greyfoxx39
(I wake up wondering what the latest assault on the Constitution will be by the "Thug-in-Chief" today)
To: NoRedTape
Christ will not return to earth in any year that has seen a rainbow. Mormons should avoid traveling on water, since Satan rules the waters.Well, I'll be you learn something everyday. Honestly, ROTFLMAO
13 posted on
08/30/2009 11:47:52 AM PDT by
svcw
(Legalism reinforces self-righteousness - it communicates to you the good news of your own goodness)
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