Orthodoxy is not just doctrinal, Alex. It's the way of life, a culture. Ignoring the doctrinal, an Orthodox will look at the Wiccan nuns or the NO liturgy and say "That's not Orthodox. That's unrecognizable!" and walk away. They will do the same thing if they happen to be in an Anglican church or a at a Lutheran service. They will find very little or nothing in common with them. That's not lack of love. It's just lack of Orthodoxy.
I think, you are glossing over one important distinction.
It is quite correct that sometime an ostensibly Catholic Mass is offered that is unrecognizable to any serious Catholic. On this we have no disagreement. In fact it was my first comment on the thread, that the Novus Ordo mass has to be reformed, at a minimum, that Ad Orientem posture is adopted, alter girls disallowed, etc. Every serious Catholic has a list of things that are an absolute must for our own sake, let alone for any reunification.
On the other hand, that will not make Latin Mass Orthodox in the sense of bearded priests, golden robes, iconostasis, leavened Eucharist, and so forth: it will remain distinctly Latin.
So that is the distionction. I have a feeling that the Orthodox speak of the former — because it is hard to disagree on the former, but they really mean the latter. This betrays a lack of good will, — lack of love. This is why the reunion is not possible in this generation.