And God remembered Rachel...
And God remembered Rachel...
A math teacher was arrested today at JFK International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule & a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Republican Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” Holder said. “They derive solutions by means & extremes, & sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.” They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ & refer to themselves as “unknowns”, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.
When asked to comment on the arrest, Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers & toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by Obama. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.