She was very ill with liver failure.
Since I am a nurse the vet put in an iv line.. gave me the drug to end her suffering.
I maintained the iv site to keep it open.
When I finally accepted that I was prolonging her suffering rather than preserving her life...I used it.
In a lifetime of doing hard things, I've never done anything harder.
She didn't understand the why of her suffering..just that she hurt and looked to me to fix it..Just like I fixed everything during her 14 years.
My prayers are with you during the time of your distress.
You hurt because you love , and loving an innocent makes it more painful.
Hug.