"it mattereth not to me"
Got tired of writing "and it came to pass. . ."
Ejones & John, I wrote what's below and stuck this in an April 2009 FReeper thread about the D&C. Why? Because the D&C provides many “lessons” from Joseph Smith – if we will only learn them -- and one of them is it tells precisely WHO wrote the Book of Mormon!!!
Lessons of history: It announces who the real Book of Mormon author was -- not a Nephite; not an angel; not God, but Joseph Smith! (D&C 24:1).
”Behold, thou wast called and chosen to WRITE [note: word “translate” is nowhere to be found] the Book of Mormon…” (D&C 24:1)
It also tells us that some of the early Mormons were "terrible" (D&C 45:70) who engaged in "abominations" the year after the Book of Mormon was published. (D&C 50:4)
Political lesson: Well, it least it tells us that the original "Baurak" from Illinois wasn't Obama, but was Joseph Smith, Junior! [I tell no lie: ...pray earnestly that peradventure my servant Baurak Ale [Joseph Smith, jun.] may go with you, and preside in the midst of my people, and organize my kingdom upon the consecrated land..." (D&C 103:35)]
Anybody have a "graphic" of Baurak Ale they could post?
What else is "remarkable" about the D&C?
Health lesson of the day: Strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies. And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle... (D&C 89:7-8) [So, class, are you taking your slurp-free whiskey baths and are you ranchers healing your cattle with tobacca and healing your bruises with it as well? Class? Class???]
He gives us all lessons in math! "...if your enemy shall smite you the second time, and you revile not against your enemy, and bear it patiently, your reward shall be an hundred-fold. And again, if she shall smite you the third time, and ye bear it patiently, your reward shall be doubled unto you four-fold." (D&C 98:25-26)
What? "Doubled unto us four-fold?" I thought the second-smite reward was already 100-fold...and now Joe says it'll be doubled for a third smite...well, not exactly "doubled" but "doubled four-fold."
(Inmans, this will be on your math test, ya know)
English lesson: How to write 113 and 116-word run-on sentences. (Please review D&C 43:25 & 123:7). [Please, to show your learning curve you MUST, if you respond to this post, write only 100+ word sentences; oh, and John, 3 Nephi 21:2-7 was originally all one sentence in the 1830 Book of Mormon…such a wordy “jesus”]
Profound lessons of incredible wisdom and insight: ...children shall grow up until they become old; old men shall die... (D&C 63:51) [I've got to write that one down somewhere]
And today's Social Science lesson: It tells us that LDS have disobeyed the Mormon gods' command to "Let your families be small" (D&C 90:25)
Civil law lesson for the day: Let no man break the laws of the land, for he that keepeth the laws of God hath no need to break the laws of land. (D&C 58:21) [Gee, I wonder why a footnote was added a few years later, saying "except polygamy"?]
Theology lesson for the day: God doesn't forgive simply because of His graciousness or His mercy or love or compassion. Nope. He forgives only because you obey! (D&C 84:61)
Class, now it's time to we unleash our imagination. You are a "seer." Now just let the revelations come. Here, let me show you: "And let the higher part of the inner court be dedicated unto me for the school of mine apostles, saith Son Ahman; or in other words, Alphus; or in other words, Omegus; even Jesus Christ your Lord. Amen." (D&C 95:17) ["Boy," he must have thought. "This is sure fun!!!"]
And Joseph keeps repeating this phrase in the D&C: "it mattereth not to me" -- as if the Mormon god is telling him something, but then adding as a caveat, "it mattereth not to me." (Hey, if it doesn't matter to the Mormon god, why is Joe "matterething" with it?)
Oh, and here's a lesson for concise business communications: "Saying: I, the Lord, will make known unto you what I will that ye shall do from this time until the next conference, which shall be held in Missouri, upon the land which I will consecrate unto my people, which are a remnant of Jacob, and those who are heirs according to the covenant." (D&C 52:2)
Well that was June of 1831 in Kirtland, Ohio. But Joseph already had Mormon settlers in Missouri & he was "sure" that his Zion was Missouri and that the Lord would come back in Missouri -- 'cause that's where, he said, the Garden of Eden was! So in early August, as Joseph leaving Kirtland in the dark of night because he owed debt on his bank, he said: Surely Zion is the city of our God, and surely Zion cannot fall, neither be moved out of her place..." (D&C 97:19)
So Smith was looking to his Missouri Zion to resettle. (The only problem was that two weeks prior to this "revelation" -- mail was slow, ya know, in those days -- on July 20, the Mormon Zionites were being run out of town at his new Zion settlement in Missouri!)
Well, the Mormon god's consecrations just didn't seem to last long. (And that's your real estate lesson for the day!)
"it mattereth not to me"
Got tired of writing "and it came to pass. . ."