I think we all go through periods of that. Part of belief is wanting to believe, of seeking out the good and grasping it.
“Lord I believe, Lord help me in my unbelief”.
The Healing of a Boy With an Evil Spirit
14When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.
16What are you arguing with them about? he asked.
17A man in the crowd answered, Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.
19O unbelieving generation, Jesus replied, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.
20So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.
21Jesus asked the boys father, How long has he been like this?
From childhood, he answered. 22It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.
23If you can? said Jesus. Everything is possible for him who believes.
24Immediately the boys father exclaimed, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!
You will not believe how very special that was.