[Mr. K]

I quit the organized ‘church’ years ago, when I got divorced.

I was still pretty active and concerned with those things so I went to see them about what to do if I was divorced, but wanted to have a church wedding again if I got married again.

They said no, it was so terrible, it’s not allowed, and etc etc etc.... but if I gave them $400 it would be OK

Something about that just didnt feel right any more

[Tennessee Nana]

but if I gave them $400 it would be OK
___________________________________________

Thats interesting...

What did “they/them” say the $400 was for ???

[divine_moment_of_facts]

What good is a church when $400 is incentive enough to ignore the marriage vow "Let no man undo"?.

I'd like to see the day when we all stand for what they say they believe in.

[Balt]

I quit the organized ‘church’ years ago, when I got divorced. I was still pretty active and concerned with those things so I went to see them about what to do if I was divorced, but wanted to have a church wedding again if I got married again. They said no, it was so terrible, it’s not allowed, and etc etc etc.... but if I gave them $400 it would be OK. Something about that just didnt feel right any more.

Allow me to translate: "I got divorced, and asked if I could marry again in Church. I was told that, since marriage is indisoluble, I could petition for a decree of nullity, which would involve an investigation of whether my first marriage was, in fact, valid to begin with, and with the understanding that my case would be determined on the evidence presented with no guarantees. Since the good people who work in the marriage tribunal do so full time, those making such a petition are asked to remit a filing fee, with the understanding that no one is denied the opportunity to make a petition solely on the grounds that they can't afford the fee. In my particular diocese, that fee is $400. Since it's an involved process which takes a lot of time and effort on my part, it's much easier for me to simply quit the Church, and misrepresent what I was told."

[Melian]

I hope I am saying this kindly: you mentioned you were divorced and were investigating having another church wedding and were asked for $400. What would you be willing to pay for 6 months of someone’s time as they do the proper investigation into your situation, mail forms to all the parties involved and witnesses, study the answers on the returned forms and file them with the appropriate offices, meet with the individuals involved and compile a valid history for you that proves to church leaders that you should be allowed to remarry in the church and they should bless your new union?

I would feel that $400 was a small amount to do the lengthy, necessary fact checking and make my situation right in the eyes of God and my church leaders.

I hope I have not offended you. I am just looking at it from a different angle. You were the one in the throes of a very sad situation. I hope it all worked out.