Posted on 09/24/2010 2:20:17 PM PDT by Headline Bistro
“The fact that you are reading this indicates you escaped the abortion holocaust. But don’t relax yet. We are all candidates for the growing euthanasia movement.”
These oft-repeated words of Msgr. William B. Smith, one of the Church’s best moral theologians until his death last year, came to mind as my father lay in the emergency room and a grave-faced doctor called me, my brother and our mother aside for a consultation. Since this was a top-rated yet secular hospital, I was already reviewing in my mind all I knew about Church teaching regarding “ordinary” and extraordinary” care. But I was not prepared for the ease with which this doctor suggested that we let my dad die peacefully.
My father (still living, thank God, at age 83) suffered a bad fall at home in late August and was rushed to the hospital across the street, where he underwent surgery for a broken femur. He then went to a Catholic rehabilitation facility, where he was progressing slowly in physical therapy when he developed respiratory problems that landed him in the emergency room of another hospital.
So there we were – with my dad in pain, barely breathing and unable to speak – being pulled aside by an important-looking specialist, as doctors, nurses and interns rushed in and out of the room. He assured us that dad was “very sick,” and tried to bring us into his confidence by adding, “But you already know that.” I thought to myself: We do not know that; no one has told us anything definite yet. In a voice that seemed more rehearsed than sincere, he said that we could treat dad “aggressively” (which sounded rough in his throat) or opt for “comfort care” (which sounded warm and fuzzy). This is a decision point, he stated. Since my dad does not have an advanced medical directive, we would have to decide whether to insert a breathing tube (aggressive) or simply keep him warm, clean, fed and comfortable until … well … nature took its course.
Wow! No one had told us even what was wrong with dad or how serious his condition was, and already this M.D. was suggesting that we let him slip away with “comfort care.”
“What kind of doctor are you?” I demanded, trying not to sound too insulting. I thought he might be the appointed euthanasia specialist, and was shocked to learn that he was the head of the intensive care unit.
“Well, if you’re in intensive care, don’t you think you should treat him intensively?” I said, again trying not to sound too critical.
Of course, he assured, this is the family’s decision. He mentioned something about New York state law and concluded, “Are we all agreed then on inserting a breathing tube?” My mother, my brother and I all agreed. “You can always change your mind as we go along,” he reminded us. Then he offered a final warning: When people this age fall down and have complications after surgery, lots of bad things usually happen. Somewhere in his flurry of words we heard the term “quality of life.” My brother told him that our dad had rarely gone out of his apartment in the past four years, so his “quality of life” was not very exciting to begin with. “If he spends the next few years in a wheelchair doing his crossroad puzzles and watching ‘Jeopardy’ that will be good enough for us,” my brother said, again trying not to insult.
It was not a pretty sight as they stuffed breathing and feeding tubes down my father’s throat. They drew the curtain so we couldn’t watch. But my dad surprised them all and got off the respirator in three days. He’s breathing fine on his own and being treated for an infection that is going away. He’s still a little confused and sees people in the room who aren’t there, but the doctor says these hallucinations may be from the trauma of the past month and being confined to a bed for days on end. We pray he’ll be out of the hospital soon since they are finding fewer and fewer reasons to keep him.
I often think how different things could have been if family members were not so attuned to the tentacles of the culture of death, or if a couple of sons were more interested in their inheritance than in seeing their father living with the high-quality love of family and friends. And what if an elderly spouse, already stressed and confused by the whirl of the emergency room, unwittingly agreed that “comfort care” sounded better than being “aggressive” because no one wants to see a loved one suffer? Even my mom could have agreed to something she really didn’t want in the rush of the moment.
I won’t mention the name of the hospital because other than that one incident in the emergency room, my dad has received great and compassionate care. But I want to thank the late Msgr. Smith, for warning so often about the growing euthanasia ethic, which now has cast a pall over the practice of medicine everywhere.
Too many people don't want to face their own mortality and just leave those decisions they cannot make to someone else...I was only 50 when I made out my will, trust, P of A. My husband died young, at 51 of his one and only heart attack with no previous sign of heart trouble...
I wasn't going to leave my family to make decisions that were my responsibility...many may disagree, but being a nurse I have seen what some family's have to go through making decisions that they were not prepared to make.. just my opinion and others probably disagree....
My children were told to answer “you will have to ask my mother or father abut that”.
I had a similar experience last Nov at a major university hospital.
My mother would have been sent home and medicated to death, but I demanded they treat the pneumonia and get her off some of the meds they had her on.
She was brought her in on a stretcher, barely responsive, rattling with pneumonia. A few hours later she was sitting up in the bed talking. The OR dr said this is amazing. My reply “no she missed her 8PM meds”.
Before she was admitted I had a very ugly scene with a dr not her dr but another one in the practice who told me I needed to accept facts and just let her go. I demanded they admit her and treat the pneumonia. In the end they did as I wanted and my mother was sitting up in bed talking and laughing the next afternoon when my brother flew in from deployment. Yes she had a terminal illness, but her last wish was to see my brother who was due to arrive the next day. Nothing nor no-one except God would have stood between me and my fulfilling that last wish. She has since passed away but she was with us through Christmas and the New Year eating her favorite pumpkin pie surrounded by family and friends. Maybe not what that dr thinks of as good quality of life but what gives any dr the right to decide that for any patient? The patient and family should decide.
All I can say is be prepared to fight because the death panels already exist. Be careful when choosing a doctor, a hospital and a hospice. Have the end of life discussions early in treatment so everyone knows what you want and believe.
My children were told to answer “you will have to ask my mother or father abut that”.
My father was terrified of hospitals, never went to the doctor.
He was old, he was dying, and he was in the hospital. My dad was alert and all that, but in that bed he was a scared, confused child. All I wanted to do was wrap him in a warm blanket, take him home, and calm his fears.
He was too overwhelmed to make decisions.
The last seven months of my mother’s life, our roles reversed and she was my child. It was heartbreaking, but I am comfortable with the decisions I made and the battles I waged on her behalf. She had the best care I could provide and died at home with those she loved.
That was the response my children were told to give if any doctor or teacher asked about guns in our home.
I agree. Have you see Mrs. Don-o’s post at #23?
I have read many of Mrs, Don O replies on many articles and she always gives excellent advice...an admirable lady...
I could not agree more.
The problem is, not everyone agrees what those "rights" are. Doctors cannot just assume that someone who is unable to communicate with them wants to live. That's one reason for the form.
I also don't want my family put in the position of trying to guess what I want.
Last but not least, Obamacare. I want it made clear, in writing, what treatment I want and don't want. That may not stop the government directed doctors from withholding treatment, but at least it won't be because I didn't put my wishes in writing.
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