“From this comment I assume you are a believer, right?”
No. I am a conservative atheist, one of an extremely small minority. Technically I’m closer to being an agnostic.
The reason why we are so few is that conservative atheists/agnostics are at an extremely high risk for depression and suicide. There is absolutely nothing worse than having a love for humanity, knowing the true horrors of reality, and not believing that anyone can stop the madness. It is very difficult to survive a single day. The only reason I bother continuing with life is out of an arbitrary sense of duty.
The left wing atheists don’t have to worry about this so long as they are financially stable and surrounded by worldly delights. They love all the physical pleasures of life and they couldn’t care less about evil. They are also capable of atrocities that evil that even Muslims would give pause.
“No. I am a conservative atheist, one of an extremely small minority. Technically I’m closer to being an agnostic.”
Thank you for sharing. Your comments are profound.
Read my posts 31, 35 and 41 and see if there is anything there which is helpful.
The reason why we are so few is that conservative atheists/agnostics are at an extremely high risk for depression and suicide.
Until one can get in touch with their spiritual side, we have a physical and spiritual side, each as real as the other, and find something that satisfies that side of us, there will always be an emptiness, a lack of direction, a lack of purpose.
For me it is Christianity. I have been on all sides of this issue - struggling believer, atheist, agnostic, true believer - and Christianity is as close to truth as we humans are able to get.
Love the conversation.
I was in much the same boat as you both. Grew up Catholic, “outgrew” the faith pretty early and became agnostic. But as I came out of the sunshine of youth and college, I saw increasingly that the beauty of the world was marred by so much terror and death. Even the passing of time is a savage brutality in a way. And many of us on the conservative side of the spectrum have enough sense to see that drowning ourselves in hedonism is not exactly the best way to deal with that.
I was at the point where I didn’t see any purpose to the whole business. Terrifying, that thought. It occurred to me then that the only sliver of hope I had to rescue some meaning out of life was that old antiquated concept called God. So I cracked open some books and started to look at the whole question fresh.
I don’t want to be preachy here but I could not BELIEVE the profound intellectual and spiritual wisdom in Christianity when I started to delve deeply into it. There were such great writers and great thinkers (Augustine, C.S. Lewis)—and all the weird strange questions I had in all different fields of human life (morality, love, science) seemed all to come together and make sense under the umbrella of a rational, loving God. So I made my confession and came back to Church. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a finished work by any means...I still have my questions (tough questions sometimes) and I still have my difficulties. But overall, I do not regret that journey one bit.
Godspeed to you both, I’ll keep you in my prayers.