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Ah, the beginning of this 1997 greeting from the now-deceased Mormon "prophet." (The only thing is the misnamed headline: Should have been, "Merry Smithmas!")

From the article: This is a season for giving and a time for gratitude. We remember with appreciation the birth of the Prophet Joseph Smith, which is celebrated this same month of December, two days before Christmas. How great indeed is our debt to him.

And from another graph: ...Let not his memory be forgotten in the celebration of Christmas...

Hmmm...I mean, I'm not sure I want to "Bah, humbug" some of the things people do this time of the year...but the world "owes" Joseph Smith a "great...debt"? What? (Do we pay him with wives or something as the "currency" that Smith'll accept?)

And Smith's memory, per Hinckley, is "not...[to] ...be forgotten in the celebration of Christmas..."

Really?

From the article: Great is his glory and endless his priesthood. Ever and ever the keys he will hold. Faithful and true, he will enter his kingdom... (“Praise to the Man,” Hymns, no. 27)

Well, I see Hinckley got the primary Smithmas carol down pat! Except he only cited verse 3, which tells us how Mormons sing of "Great is his glory...he will enter his kingdom."

The "glory...& kingdom" of Jesus Christ?

Well, uh, sadly. No. Mormons sing of the "great glory" of Smith! -- who gets his own "kingdom" as part of the heavenly divine competition the Mormons have going on up there.

Well, Hinckley ignored v. 1, where it tells us how "Kings shall extol him, and nations revere."

Now that's what you'd expect to see on a Christmas card from Hallmark, right? Wrong!!!

Why, that's the "Merry Smithmas card!" version...and the one getting to be extolled by kings & revered by the rest of us peons is none other than Joseph Smith!!! Merry Smithmas!

Had Mr. Hinckley cited verse 2 for us, we could have been reminded how: ...the earth lauds his fame. (You mean the fame of Jesus Christ? Nope! The hymn says to "Laud" Smith all! Merry Smithmas!)

And finally, v. 4 of the Mormon hymn from the Mormon hymnal, "Praise to the Man" -- also NOT covered by Hinckley -- where we finally get to the atonement! Hurray! Hurrah!

Uh...wait a minute...what? V. 4 says, "Earth must atone for the blood of that man." Say what?

Mormons don't sing @ "Merry Smithmas" time about...
...The eventual atonement of the Christ child???...
...& his eventual shed blood for us???...
...But instead sing worship songs to Smith about Smith's shed blood? -- and that, WE, the earth, need to do the atoning?

Well, that's the topsy-turvy way it works in wacky Mor-monlehem...as the shepherds quake about Vermont every Dec. 23 -- Smith's b'day!

So, if you see a weird star low o'er the Northeastern coast of our land, well, you heard it from the "Go tell it on the Mt. Zion" network here first!

BTW, you'll notice on various Q&A type of Web sites – as well as (no doubt) FR responses on this very thread – that Mormons will jump in and answer the question, “Do Mormons celebrate Christmas?”

And, of course, they'll say they affirmatively do.

Of course, the question, you really don't see on those Web sites (or see oft' addressed by Lds Freepers on these threads) is the following one:

”Do Mormons as a church body celebrate Christmas Day – or Christmas Eve – beyond when one of those two days happens to fall on a Sabbath Day?”

Well, the answer to that is generally, no!
Not as a church body!
Not on Christmas Day (unless it falls on a Sunday)!
And not on Christmas Eve (unless it falls on a Sunday).

So.....Merry Smithmas is celebrated just TWO days before the feast of the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

How utterly coincidental! And convenient, too.

What the Heck??????

I ain’t elevating anyone on par or even in the realm, with parity, of Jesus Christ.

I owe no man anything.

I owe God everything.

(Well, I do have to admit to celebrating Elvis’s Birthday Jan 8 and Death in Aug 17th)

How great indeed is our debt to him.

"He (Joseph Smith) is the man through whom God has spoken... yet I would not like to call him a savior, though in a certain capacity he was a god to us, and is to the nations of the earth, and will continue to be."

- Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 8:321

"You call us fools; but the day will be, gentlemen and ladies, whether you belong to this Church or not, when you will prize brother Joseph Smith as the Prophet of the Living God, and look upon him as a god..."

- Herber C. Kimball, Journal of Discourses 5:88

"If we get our salvation, we shall have to pass by him [Joseph Smith]; if we enter our glory, it will be through the authority he has received. We cannot get around him [Joseph Smith]"

- (as quoted in 1988 Melchizedek Priesthood Study Guide, p. 142)

There is "no salvation without accepting Joseph Smith. If Joseph Smith was verily a prophet, and if he told the truth...no man can reject that testimony without incurring the most dreadful consequences, for he cannot enter the kingdom of God"

- Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p.190

"I tell you, Joseph holds the keys, and none of us can get into the celestial kingdom without passing by him. We have not got rid of him, but he stands there as the sentinel, holding the keys of the kingdom of God; and there are many of them beside him. I tell you, if we get past those who have mingled with us, and know us best, and have a right to know us best, probably we can pass all other sentinels as far as it is necessary, or as far as we may desire. But I tell you, the pinch will be with those that have mingled with us, stood next to us, weighed our spirits, tried us, and proven us: there will be a pinch, in my view, to get past them. The others, perhaps, will say, If brother Joseph is satisfied with you, you may pass. If it is all right with him, it is all right with me. Then if Joseph shall say to a man, or if brother Brigham say to a man, I forgive you your sins, "Whosoever sins ye remit they are remitted unto them;" if you who have suffered and felt the weight of transgression—if you have generosity enough to forgive the sinner, I will forgive him: you cannot have more generosity than I have. I have given you power to forgive sins, and when the Lord gives a gift, he does not take it back again."

- Orson Hyde, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 6, p.154-155

"It is because the Lord called Joseph Smith that salvation is again available to mortal men.... If it had not been for Joseph Smith and the restoration, there would be no salvation,"

- Bruce McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, p. 396, 670

They succeeded in killing Joseph, but he had finished his work.

He was a servant of God, and gave us the Book of Mormon.

He said the Bible was right in the main, but, through the translators and others, many precious portions were suppressed, and several other portions were wrongly translated; and now his testimony is in force, for he has sealed it with his blood.

As I have frequently told them, no man in this dispensation will enter the courts of heaven, without the approbation of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jun.

Who has made this so?

Have I?

Have this people?

Have the world?

No; but the Lord Jehovah has decreed it.

If I ever pass into the heavenly courts, it will be by the consent of the Prophet Joseph.

If you ever pass through the gates into the Holy City, you will do so upon his certificate that you are worthy to pass.

Can you pass without his inspection?

No; neither can any person in this dispensation, which is the dispensation of the fulness of times.

In this generation, and in all the generations that are to come, everyone will have to undergo the scrutiny of this Prophet.

They say that they killed Joseph, and they will yet come with their hats under their arms and bend to him; but what good will it do them, unless they repent?

They can come in a certain way and find favor, but will they?

Brigham Young,

--JOURNAL OF DISCOURSES, vol. 8, p. 224

Dear Reader: what does it sound like to YOU?

<solemn verbalization> His life began in Vermont and ended in Illinois, and marvelous were the things that happened between that simple beginning and tragic ending. </solemn verbalization>

JESUS: Hey Smith! Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?

JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?

JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?

JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!

JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.

JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!

JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.

JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.

JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?

JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)

JESUS: That's it.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: Nah - it was right.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.

JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.

JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!

JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?

JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....

JESUS: What did you say?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.

JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.

JESUS: No...

JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?

JESUS: Nope.

JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!

JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: No; it wasn't.

JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?

JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?

JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.

JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.

JOSEPH SMITH: But....