I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get married. Even assuming no children are involved a man can lose his shirt and good bit of skin in a divorce. If there are kids involved I would probably never see them again except when mommy neded money.
The entire institution of marriage has become such a stacked and risky game that I can’t see myself becoming a part of it unless I had a bullet proof prenup. Then we’ll talk about love.
I’m engaged to someone I went to high school with 30 years ago. He is divorced from one of our other classmates and had to start over financially 7 years ago. That has made him very wary. Luckily them sharing the kids equally has worked out well.
He feels in his heart that we are married and at our age having kids is off the table. However, I’ve never been married before and I believe that the act and vows are extremely important so he’ll do what makes me happy.
I’ve offered to sign a prenup but he has declined, stating that he can’t enter into a marriage again thinking that it could fail. Neither of us is perfect but we’re perfect for each other and at 48 we’re old enough and weathered enough to know how to make things work.
You just may find the right person some day too.
Marriage may be fraught with risk, but it is less risky to you and the human race than promiscuity. Promiscuity leads to poorly reared children or aborted children, STDs, broken hearts or hardened hearts. Unless you have taken a vow a celibacy, I would urge you to consider that committed love is worth the risk and may even extend your life, as compared with whatever sex you are having without it.
Also, won’t you be needing some mutual care-giving when you are elderly? Plan now to spend your life with a loyal and caring person who will help you when you can’t do it all yourself.
Priorities to form a solid foundation!
1- Similar Values
2- True Friendship
3- Mutual Trust
4- Mutual Respect
These are important, but change throughout your life, and therefore don’t provide the FOUNDATION that the first 4 do.
Just married for the first time at 57.
There is truth to that. Which is why you HAVE to be very careful.
Quite frankly, one can have the same fears about nearly anything.
I don't think things are so bad -- check http://www.divorcerate.org/
It is frequently reported that the divorce rate in America is 50%. This data is not accurately correct, however, it is reasonably close to actual. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.", which is actually a projection.....I think the 40% rate is heavily due to multiple marriages
According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
Also, it depends on the mentality of the partners -- for my wife and me divorce is not even on the table, not an option, full stop. For many folks an argument means the big D word. Just put it out of your mind and both should sincerely try to work it out.
Of course, the chance of divorce increases if people don’t share the same religious, moral beliefs.