Replies

>>I have begun resisting pressure by not holding hands during the Our Father. I just hold my hands up in front of me, put my head down, close my eyes, and pray it.<<

Stop that orans position. In the GIRM it is reserved for the priest and deacon only. It is never allowed for the laity and part of your problem. I left “Lib city” church and know just what you’re going through.

Fold your hands and close your eyes. If someone taps you, ignore it. If it happens again, ignore it again. If they call your name, ignore it. With your hands folded, no one can grab your hand. If they come up to your and ask about it after, Open your eyes wide and exclaim, “I was PRAYING!” That solved my problem. Eventually, a whole group of us (starting with the men who hate the hand holding anyway) folded our hands for the Our Father. I think that if I had stayed, many more would have.

Here is an excellent statement from Karl Keating, of Catholic Answers.com. I wish that we could get this out to all Catholics to make them understand. It DOES take away the meaning in other parts of the mass. You would be amazed at how many people will drop their hands when a few in the pew do.

May 23, 2004, 04:50 PM
Karl Keating Karl Keating is offline
President, Catholic Answers

Join Date: April 1, 2004
Location: San Diego
Posts: 636
Default Re: Holding hands at the Lord’s Prayer
In America, we shake hands with one another at the sign of peace. In Japan parishioners bow to one another. In other countries there may be other conventions.

At the sign of peace we’re saying “I’m at peace with you” or “I feel reconciled to you.” We convey that through words (”The peace of Christ be with you”) and through an action that is friendly but not intimate or intrusive (since most of those around us likely will be strangers).

This act of demonstrating reconciliation is undermined by holding hands at the Our Father. That prayer comes immediately before the sign of peace. In those parishes where people hold hands during that prayer, they are engaging in an action that is much more intimate than a handshake.

If we hold hands during the Our Father, it undercuts the significance of the following act, since holding hands trumps shaking hands. The sign of peace withers. A prescribed part of the liturgy (the sign of peace) loses much of its significance (much of its “sign value”) when parishioners hold hands at the Our Father.

(It’s good to say “I love you” to your spouse, but if you say that to everyone you meet on the street, your spouse will feel your words have been devalued.)

Another point: In our culture, hand-holding is approved of when adults hold the hands of young children, when boyfriend and girlfriend hold hands, and when married couples hold hands (though this commonly stops a few weeks after the honeymoon ).

We do not hold hands with strangers to whom we are introduced. We shake hands instead. Holding hands in such a situation would be perceived as too intimate. And in some cases, holding hands even suggests something unsavory, as when we see two men holding hands as they walk down the sidewalk.

Can anyone think of any situation, other than at the Our Father during Mass, in which people commonly hold hands with strangers? I can’t, and I think there is a reason: Hand holding is a sign of a certain intimacy. It’s not something we take lightly.

To hold hands with strangers at Mass strikes me as artificial, and it has become a detriment to a proper appreciation of the liturgy. Yes, it is easy enough to avoid, but I think it remains a problem. It is one kind of problem for those who don’t wish to hold hands, and it is another kind of problem (the problem of not understanding the role of signs in the Mass) for those who like the practice.