as I said, the problem may be that the hyper-Calvinists are the most vocal — or even “were”. Unfortunately that means the information we received 2008-2010 made us (at least me) believe that all were of that bent of mind — indeed I was told that was so and to be otherwise was not to be Calvinist.
Not exactly which information you refer to, but Reformed Theology has been around for a long time and the best way to get educated is probably not only on an internet forum, but by researching history (as I find to be true with most things).