RE: Don’t try to read the Bible. It’s too complicated. Just try to be a good person.
If the Bible isn’t the standard for how good is defined because it is too complicated to understand, How do they define “good” then?
What rule do they use to determine what is good or bad?
And if someone defines good differently than what this pastor teaches, who is right? Or is he saying that both are right?
If someone says having sex outside of marriage is good, does the pastor say “yes” or “no”?
What acts as his guide?
Your questions were exactly the dilemmas I spent my teen years trying to unravel. I did attempt to read the entire Bible beginning at about age 12. I think the only books I was not able to complete during those years were the latter Old Testament prophets. In attempt to be brief I will just say that I was confused back then by the information I was reading versus the teachings I was hearing versus the lives of people in our church. I don't want to pass judgement on the congregation but this was during the '60's and in the south. We had rampant racism in our family, church congregation and circle of friends. That was pretty much the norm then but I didn't feel it fit with what I read in the Bible.
In our church we also had younger adults who protested the war in Vietnam. Although they were young, I looked up to those "kids" as my elders. We also had many mature adults such as my folks who were conservative and ardent patriots. I do thank God that I learned American conservative political values from my dad. But, the conflict between the different demographic factions within the church was ugly and my sponge of a young mind absorbed the arguments but did not understand the cursing and vulgar language used to accord with what I read in that Bible.
I thank God for the church family I had as my children went through those formative pre-teen and teen years because I vividly remember my confusion in trying to form a set of personal values with an intangible definition of "good." I will admit, I failed. My children were much more successful then I and I give credit to having those Biblical pastors to back up what I was teaching in our home.
I accept the personal accountability for my youth because I am an intelligent person and could have made better choices. I was a mom at age 17, was actually introduced to drugs for the first time at a Methodist church and made a generally bad start to adulthood. But, God is good. I guess I was just stubborn enough to want to find the answers to that list of questions you posed. I did like so many of my generation and followed into Eastern stuff, New Age, any crazy philosophical route that presented itself interested me.
The Uncle and Aunt who led me to the Lord were also raised Methodist. They had neighbors who testified to them and were saved about 3 years before me. When they began to testify to me I certainly rejected them because I'd tried Christianity. But, they were (and are) my favorite relatives so I socialized with them often. The things they said actually made sense to me. The Biblical definition of "good" put an end to a 12 year quest to find answers. I am no longer a member of a Baptist church so not trying to testify that Baptists have a monopoly. I do believe we as Christians have a monopoly. I don't believe that being a Methodist is UN-Christian either. It's just my experience (and that of other members of my family) that the Christian teaching isn't heard in a Methodist church.