O.M.G. Hubbard was even loonier than I remember. That summer of '69, when the moon landing and Woodstock happened, the Beatles released Abbey Road, and Gloria Steinem was just gearing up, I read Dianetics while waiting for my husband to complete basic training.
Crazy as things were, with riots in the streets, Nixon in the White House and Army officers who had been drafted distributing LSD and marijuana around Fort Benning out of resentment, I thought Scientology was a pantload.
In 1952, Hubbard wrote a book called 'What To Audit,' later renamed 'The History Of Man.' In the introduction Hubbard claims he will prove 60 or 70 trillion years of evolution. At some point in our past, per Hubbard, we're descended from clams. The whole 'volcanoes blown up by atomic bombs scattering engrams' had taken place before that, so some engrams were in the clams, tormenting them with the 'open, close' bit. Those engrams are still around, in those of us who aren't 'clear' because they were in clams and we're descended from clams.
So be careful not to let any auditing Scientologists rapidly snap his or her little finger clams open and closed around you.
By the way, most engrams that aren't currently in bodies are in processing plants on Mars, per Scientology. However, there is one Martian out-of-body engram processing plan in the Pyrenees.
Yep. I don't know if Tom Cruise has visited it yet.