[Elsie]

This article doesn't go into it, but this had to have cost her everything she valued at that time.

Actually; it does...

I was a broken mess. I did not want to lose everything that I loved. But the voice of God sang a sanguine love song in the rubble of my world.

[Lee N. Field]

Actually; it does...

I was a broken mess. I did not want to lose everything that I loved. But the voice of God sang a sanguine love song in the rubble of my world.

In the context of the article, I took that to mean, she anticipated at the time of her crisis and conversion that she would probably loose what she loved.