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To: Zakeet
One of my favorites was a Mormon apologist's attempt to explain Joseph's account of pre-Columbian Native Americans riding horseback as proclaimed in the Book of Mormon. His response, citing a FAIR article, was that the Indians were actually riding deer, which from a distance resembled horses.

I wish I could take credit for this one, but it doesn't belong to me. This is based on a real FARMS/FAIR apologetic which claims "The most likely animals to have been included in the expanded definition of the Book of Mormon “horse” are the deer and the tapir."


Tapir-Back Riders
Tune: "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles - 05/17/2003 -
created by BBS & Gunshy

Dear Sir or Madam will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Joe
And the main idea is the Lamanites were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

See, the Nephites came to the promised land
And those damn exmos just don't understand
That when they said "horse" they meant something else
But it all makes sense if you know that they were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

I know the whole thing doesn't hold up well
If you take it literally, but what the hell
There’s this group of guys that work at FARMS
And they can save the whole thing by postulating
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

They say the book is really history
If so where's the proof? Ah, a mystery
External evidence is perpetually due
Apparently the best that they can do is
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

What the folks at FARMS don’t seem to understand
Is we want the truth, not sleight of hand
The Church asks for all, but gives nothing back
The best they have to offer is a team of hacks with
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders


12 posted on 02/17/2013 4:05:43 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" - Isaiah 7:9)
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To: Alex Murphy; Zakeet; All
Tapir-back Riders

LOL

Ya gotta see this one: The Tapir Whisperer - Daniel Peterson - FARMS - BYU - Book of Mormon: Tall tapir tales for the testimony

13 posted on 02/17/2013 4:26:10 PM PST by Colofornian
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