Marriage Tips from a Couple Married for 87 Years

WDTPRS ^ | August 12, 2014 | Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

[NYer]

From the National Organization for Marriage:

Marriage Tips from a Couple Married for 87 Years

Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher married on May 13, 1924. In 2008, they broke the Guinness World Record for being the longest married living couple. Both died at the age of 105–Herbert in 2011 and Zelmyra in 2013.

Before their deaths, the Fishers answered fourteen questions about their relationship and what made their marriage last for nearly 90 years. One of their tips will comfort anyone who is preparing for marriage or hoping to strengthen his or her marriage:

“There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family.”

Here are a few of the questions the Fishers answered:

What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?

Respect, support, and communicate with each other. Be faithful, honest, and true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.

You got married very young – how did you both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?

Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together. We are individuals, but accomplish more together.

At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?

Remember marriage is not a contest, never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win.

What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?

We are both Christians and believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord. We pray with and for each other every day.

[NYer]

Best piece of advice my parents received: “Put your spouse first”. They have been married 57 years.

[fwdude]

Best piece of advice my parents received: “Put your spouse first”.

I thought it was, "yes, dear." :)

[rfreedom4u]

My parents have been married for 57 years. Recently my mom had some health issues and he doted over her like a mad man. He was lost at home alone while she was in the hospital. At 83 years old he slept on the tiny little couch in her room many nights. I’ve never seen him like that and it made me even more proud of him. Since then he has started to have a couple issues and my mom is doing the same. She constantly goes to the bedroom to peek in on him and make sure he is doing ok.

[PapaNew]

The BIGGIE is they are praying believers surrendered to the Lord as the center of their marriage. I believe, just as God renews us individually as the eagles, so He renews our love, relationship, and marriage with one another.

And I don’t think Jesus can be the center of our lives or our marriage as long as WE are the center. That’s the tough part. Letting go of MY plans and MY way, realizing Jesus loves me much more than I love myself and his plans for me are much better and greater than my plans for myself.

Sometimes, I think we have to let go of whatever is the most important things to us including marriage. It’s sort of like saying, “Jesus, I put all in your hands come what may. Maybe things will work out maybe not. But I know this: you, Jesus, will give me the LIFE of my dreams, the WIFE of my dreams, and the HOUSE of my dreams. But I’ve let go of the title deed. It’s in Your hands.”

My experience after letting go like this is his love rushes into my heart and I have a renewed love for my wife and our relationship is better than ever. We’re less than halfway there (married 38 years), but Jesus keeps turning the water of our marriage into wine.

“He that loves his life shall lose it; and he that hates his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal” (John 12:25). This includes His life in my marriage as I give it to Him.

[cloudmountain]

Best piece of advice my parents received: “Put your spouse first”.
I thought it was, "yes, dear." :)

=================================

LOL!

[Veggie Todd]

The secret to a happy marriage: separate bathrooms!

[Vendome]

When yer ugly sticking it out is the only realistic option...

[NYer]

Wow ... seems our parents are in a similar place. My dad suffers from un-diagnosed scoliosis and arthritis of the knees. His doctor recommended that he have surgery, years ago. He found every excuse imaginable to postpone it. In March of this year, he began to stand up from his chair but his legs and back could not support him. He is now in a wheelchair. Last week, my mother slipped and fell, knocking her head against a table. It was 6 am and my father rolled over to her, trying to help her to her feet. They called a half hour later. Took my mother where "she wanted to go" - a doc in the box. He sent her for a CT scan and I kept Dad informed as we went through the different tests. 5 hours later, they were re-united. I kept thinking about the following story:

California husband and wife die 4 hours apart after 62 years of marriage

I fully expect my parents will follow a similar route. They have been together for so long that neither one can live without the other.

[Sequoyah101]

I thought it was don’t quit and keep your promise no matter how miserable it gets.

[DaveA37]

“Put your spouse first”. They have been married 57 years.”....

55 years here and counting.

[dfwgator]

Two words, “Yes, dear.”

[Tax-chick]

I thought it was don’t quit and keep your promise no matter how miserable it gets.

"Because we're not the kind of people who quit. We have a word for those people."

[Sequoyah101]

What is it?
Millions are dying to know.
The world waits.

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

A wise man once told me “Never marry for sex; marry a woman who can cook. No matter how old you are, you’ll always get hungry.”

[Jeff Chandler]

“Never marry for sex; marry a woman who can cook. No matter how old you are, you’ll always get hungry.”

It's funny because it's true.

[Mears]

Good for you.

.

[NYer]

A wise man once told me “Never marry for sex; marry a woman who can cook. No matter how old you are, you’ll always get hungry.”

And ....

Jimmy Soul - If You Want To Be Happy

[NYer]

It's funny because it's true.

Ping to #18.

[Tax-chick]

Well, one was “former in-laws.” Others, depending on my mother’s mood, were terms excluded from commentary in the Religion Forum.