My 31 year old son is one of the angry ones. He is 0 - 3 on serious relationships and can catalogue unrealistic expectations and absurd fickle behavior at the drop of a hat. He can talk for hours on the subject.
His conclusion has been that women have no idea what they are looking for in men, so it is futile to try to accommodate their ever-changing demands. In addition, for most women his age, common decency, respect for others and tried and true moral values are routinely rationalized away and place no bounds on their behavior. Now, he just approaches life as he sees fit, and if they don’t like it, to hell with them. He believes his values, instincts and decision-making have been validated repeatedly as on target nearly all of the time.
What is truly eye-opening is that his Mom, from whom I have been divorced almost 14 years, is in the process of being put on the road by her pretty-boy husband who was my replacement. In recent discussions with my son about her current trials, she has been informed by my son that she treated me with the same types of absurd, fickle behavior and unrealistic expectations to which he was subjected by a recent girl friend . . . of which his Mom was highly critical. After being slapped back into reality by her son and exiting husband, my son thinks she now has an appreciation for the utter stupidity and injustice to which she subjected me. That’s too bad. It is about 14 years, one wrecked family and 4 wrecked lives too late.
Beginning Experience, a peer facilitated weekend for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one
It's non-denominational but does end with a Mass. (Patterned after the Marriage Encounter weekend, only with small groups.)
His unrealistic expectations or theirs? When you have struck out 3 out of 3 times, it's time to start facing facts. Either your son is lousy at picking women, or he picks decent women who, after getting to know your son, realize he is not the prize you or he thinks he is.
He can talk for hours on the subject.
That may be one of his problems. Who wants to date a person who is a constant whiner and complainer? Is this his normal reaction to disappointments?
What is truly eye-opening is that his Mom, from whom I have been divorced almost 14 years, is in the process of being put on the road by her pretty-boy husband who was my replacement. In recent discussions with my son about her current trials, she has been informed by my son that she treated me with the same types of absurd, fickle behavior and unrealistic expectations to which he was subjected by a recent girl friend . . . of which his Mom was highly critical. After being slapped back into reality by her son and exiting husband, my son thinks she now has an appreciation for the utter stupidity and injustice to which she subjected me. That’s too bad. It is about 14 years, one wrecked family and 4 wrecked lives too late.
Oh yeah, you hit the spot there.
On a slightly different subject, one of the many points that really bugs me is the propensity for many younger women today to go and get pregnant by “Super-Macho Dude and thug wanna-be and then start looking for a reliable “nerd-boy” to raise the spawn of Satan. And then on top of that inform said “nerd-boy” that she is not interested in having kids with him. He’s good enough to raise the Spawn but nowhere good enough to actually have children with.
I’m very sorry you’ve gone through all that.