I'd like to show up with my favorite hat and peep stone ... but nobody's invited me!
Posted on 12/21/2014 5:28:54 AM PST by Colofornian
Zelphless NOM Dec 01, 2014
This is kinda funny actually. The Exec Sec of our ward just sent out this announcement for the ward Christmas Party:
Quote: As a Bishopric we would like to take this opportunity to invite everyone to come to the Ward Christmas Celebration...The theme this year will be "Christmas in Nauvoo" and will feature an 1843 Christmas in Nauvoo with the Joseph and Emma Smith family. Everyone is invited to come as you are, or dress in period clothing. The main dinner will be provided and if you wish you may bring your favorite holiday dessert to share. Please feel free to invite your neighbors and other guests to join us for this special evening and Christmas story.
Maybe I'll have my 12 year old daughter dress as Helen Mar Kimball :evil:
Zadok Dec 01, 2014
That would be classic!!! I wonder who will be playing the other "sacred not secret" wives of Brother Smith?
new-newordermormon Dec 01, 2014
wow....so much for making it an even that even non-members would want to attend.
Our ward tries to make it an inclusive "community Christmas party" so, we invite all our neighbors and it turns out to be a neighborhood event. I can't imagine any non-member wanting to come to this!
(unless they celebrate Christmas in Carthage!)
nibbler Dec 01, 2014
I admit that my first thought betrayed that bit of me that I like to suppress. Basically it was:
What, they're even hijacking Christmas to find a way to bring JS back into the conversation. :(
20/20vision Dec 01, 2014
Smithmous is alive and well in your ward...you should have your daughter dress as Helen Kimball and you should go as the angel with a sword and follow Joseph around the gym.
With the new essay out they should have all his spouses present.
HMS Beagle Dec 01, 2014
new-newordermormon wrote: I can't imagine any non-member wanting to come to this!
I can't imagine any member wanting to go to this. I think somebody is trying to get released from the activities committee.
TheRunningMom Dec 01, 2014
Maybe this was inspired by the term "Merry Smithmas?" Why did Joseph's birthday have to be so close to Christmas?
It would be hilarious for a bunch of families to come as Joseph's family with name tags telling the relationship. This could also include the men he was sealed to through the law of adoption so no man will be left behind. :lol: Bonus points if people are the same ages as the people they are representing.
This sounds like such a fun activity. :?
Keewon Dec 01, 2014
20/20vision wrote: Smithmous is alive and well in your ward...you should have your daughter dress as Helen Kimball and you should go as the angel with a sword and follow Joseph around the gym.
It's a good thing I don't drink coffee. My keyboard would be covered in it right now. :lol:
Zadok Dec 01, 2014
TheRunningMom wrote: It would be hilarious for a bunch of families to come as Joseph's family with name tags telling the relationship. This could also include the men he was sealed to through the law of adoption so no man will be left behind. :lol: Bonus points if people are the same ages as the people they are representing.
This sounds like such a fun activity.
This is golden. A couple of NOMs or borderline apostates could have sooo much fun with this. I think it would take a LONG time for your ward to recover.
ZelphlessNOM Dec 01, 2014
20/20vision wrote: ...you should go as the angel with a sword and follow Joseph around the gym.
HAHA love this!!
clean sweep Dec 01, 2014
Someone else needs to go around with the person playing JS as his scribe and write down his every utterance making sure to note which is prophesy. That person can then go home that evening and publish the new ward Book of Commandments and hand it out during Sunday School the next Sunday. All lessons can then be taught from that. Wouldn't make very much difference with what is taught now. :mrgreen:
The Beast Dec 01, 2014
How about showing up as Mr. and Mrs. William Law--almost family.
TheRunningMom Dec 01, 2014
One other idea...have the wives lined up in sealing order as well when you enter. :lol:
ZelphlessNOM, you're attending, right? And returning and reporting, right?
Seriously though, thanks for the laugh. This idea for a "Christmas" party baffles me.
20/20vision Dec 01, 2014
Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories. It would be a marvelous work and a wonder.
I Can See Now Dec 01, 2014
20/20vision wrote: Smithmous is alive and well in your ward...you should have your daughter dress as Helen Kimball and you should go as the angel with a sword and follow Joseph around the gym.
With the new essay out they should have all his spouses present.
Lol...this.
Hiding in Plain Sight Dec 01, 2014
How about dressing up as Porter Rockwell who crashed the actual 1843 christmas party as the smith home, after being arrested for the attempted assassination of Governor Boggs.
Quote: On Christmas day, 1843, a large party assembled at the Prophet's home, spending the time in music and a social visit. During the festivities a man with long shaggy hair, apparently drunk, came in and was taken for a Missourian. A scuffle ensued and the Prophet beheld the stranger's face. To his great surprise and joy he recognized that this long-haired, disheveled man was his long-tried and true friend, Orrin Porter Rockwell. When the confusion ceased, Brother Rockwell related his experiences.
Just one more tidbit. After Rockwell returned, Joseph let him set up a bar as a business in the prophet's home. Emma quickly shut down the enterprise.
I Can See Now Dec 01, 2014
20/20vision wrote:
Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories.
Lol...this too.
ZelphlessNOM, given that the polygamy essay just came out - you have either a brave Bishopric, a clueless Bishopric, or one that is attempting some spin control. Any guesses as to which type of Bishopric you have?
CaCoast Dec 01, 2014
ZelphlessNOM wrote: This is kinda funny actually. The Exec Sec of our ward just sent out this announcement for the ward Christmas Party:
Quote: As a Bishopric we would like to take this opportunity to invite everyone to come to the Ward Christmas Celebration...The theme this year will be "Christmas in Nauvoo" and will feature an 1843 Christmas in Nauvoo with the Joseph and Emma Smith family. Everyone is invited to come as you are, or dress in period clothing. The main dinner will be provided and if you wish you may bring your favorite holiday dessert to share. Please feel free to invite your neighbors and other guests to join us for this special evening and Christmas story.
Maybe I'll have my 12 year old daughter dress as Helen Mar Kimball :evil:
Looks like someone did NOT read the essay :shock: . This theme could provide unintended consequences (like the TRUTH) or for the uninformed, same-ol'-same-ol' (lies). So much win possible!
Here's what my ward is doing for Smithmas: 2nd Annual Christmas Service Party
Saturday, December 13, 9:30am - 1pm
Once again we are going to do a service project for our Christmas party. We are helping the same organization, xxxxxxxxxxx, to provide Christmas to many farm worker families. http://www.xxxxxxxxxx.org
The things we need this year are: Masa Harina flour
Toothpaste Toothbrushes Body soap Shampoo Toilet paper Deodorant (men & women) Baby diapers (all sizes)
Wrapping paper 2 gallon size baggies
$5-10 gifts for children (newborn-17), boys and girls
More details/assignments to follow. Thanks for all that each of you do. Sister xxxxxxxxxxx
Lots of Military and other low-income families in the ward who don't have extra cash to burn for this kanda stuff! The shame and isolation just keeps on coming. Merry Christmas from the corp.
Squidwords Dec 01, 2014
I Can See Now wrote: 20/20vision wrote: Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories.
Lol...this too.
ZelphlessNOM, given that the polygamy essay just came out - you have either a brave Bishopric, a clueless Bishopric, or one that is attempting some spin control. Any guesses as to which type of Bishopric you have?
I would vote for CLUELESS. Honestly what are these people smoking?
glass shelf Dec 01, 2014 I am just blown away by the fact that no one in WC said, "Hey, do you think we should focus on Christ a little more since it is Christmas?" or if they did they were totally voted down.
My vote is that they'd have to be clueless. I can't imagine anyone willingly stepping into this landmine.
Iloveartmom Dec 02, 2014
I laughed at all your responses. Clueless seems to be the theme!
HappyJackWagon Dec 02, 2014
TheRunningMom wrote: Maybe this was inspired by the term "Merry Smithmas?" Why did Joseph's birthday have to be so close to Christmas?
It would be hilarious for a bunch of families to come as Joseph's family with name tags telling the relationship. This could also include the men he was sealed to through the law of adoption so no man will be left behind. :lol: Bonus points if people are the same ages as the people they are representing.
This sounds like such a fun activity. :?
This could also be a fun youth game. You know, a kind of "get to know you" mix and mingle. For fun the bishop could act as Joseph and the Mia Maids and Laurels could see what it's like to be a teen bride. Wait, I'm kind of creeping myself out. Sorry.
Zadok Dec 02, 2014
HappyJackWagon wrote: This could also be a fun youth game. You know, a kind of "get to know you" mix and mingle. For fun the bishop could act as Joseph and the Mia Maids and Laurels could see what it's like to be a teen bride. Wait, I'm kind of creeping myself out. Sorry. LOL...suggest this at your next Ward Council meeting and see what kind of response you get...???
_________________ "Although the Lord commanded the adoption ... of plural marriage in the latter days, He did not give exact instructions on how to obey the commandment." (Yeah, right).
ZelphlessNOM Dec 02, 2014
I Can See Now wrote: 20/20vision wrote: Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories.
Lol...this too.
ZelphlessNOM, given that the polygamy essay just came out - you have either a brave Bishopric, a clueless Bishopric, or one that is attempting some spin control. Any guesses as to which type of Bishopric you have?
I'm leaning towards clueless. They are really good guys, probably not even aware of the essays
ZelphlessNOM Dec 02, 2014
TheRunningMom wrote: One other idea...have the wives lined up in sealing order as well when you enter. :lol:
ZelphlessNOM, you're attending, right? And returning and reporting, right?
Seriously though, thanks for the laugh. This idea for a "Christmas" party baffles me.
Would love to have all the wives present!! Yes, will return and report :). Baffles me too.
Margesimpson Dec 02, 2014
20/20vision wrote: Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories. It would be a marvelous work and a wonder.
I lol'd! So crazy! What ever happened to Bethlehem themed Christmas celebrations?
amimormon Dec 02, 2014
Dress up as Jesus with a big sign around your neck that reads "Christmas, not Smithmas".
What'snext Dec 02, 2014
On my journey I see more and more the things I would have looked over before. A Joseph and Emma Christmas!? What fun! That would've been my responce. I must have had mind freeze all those years. Embarrassing.
Everyone is celebrating Christmas in the protestant world and one or more of our wards is celebrating the Smith family. .....well two of them anyway.
Carry on the fun of this post. Y'all are a hoot!
SBClosetMom Dec 02, 2014
You should send this email, from an anonymous address, to your bishop.
Dear Bishop, I just received the invitation to the ward Christmas party and I am really looking forward to it. I am so grateful that FINALLY, someone gets it. I get so tired of everyone talking about Jesus this time of year, forgetting what we should really be celebrating: the most important man who ever walked the face of this earth, even Joseph Smith, the prophet of the restoration. Here is one of my favorite quotes from church history that explains my feelings much more eloquently than I ever could: Quote: "...I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet . . . " Joseph Smith (History of the Church, vol. 6, p. 408-409).
See you at the party. Sincerely, Molly
wtfluff Dec 02, 2014
Show up in "period clothing" with a shovel, and a "Urim and Thummim" (rock / seer-stone.)
Tell everyone you're gonna go look for buried treasure (like Joseph's first "profession") and if you find the buried treasure, you'll give it to Baby-Jesus as a "Smith-mas" gift...
Ford Prefect Dec 02, 2014
You could follow Joseph around and keep whispering in his ear that Fanny was in the young womens room waiting and you could marry them so it would be all square.
The Exec Sec of our ward just sent out this announcement for the ward Christmas Party:
Quote: As a Bishopric we would like to take this opportunity to invite everyone to come to the Ward Christmas Celebration...The theme this year will be "Christmas in Nauvoo" and will feature an 1843 Christmas in Nauvoo with the Joseph and Emma Smith family. Everyone is invited to come as you are, or dress in period clothing.
And then, ZelphlessNOM, the poster, humorously adds: "Maybe I'll have my 12 year old daughter dress as Helen Mar Kimball
Poster Zadok then suggests other garb-dressing 1843 Mormon Nauvoo-ites could role-play as the "other 'sacred not secret' wives of Brother Smith."
Poster 20/20vision hilariously suggests: Here is another idea. You could volunteer to be joseph. Get yourself a good top hat and have a story telling time. Have everyone gather around, then cram your face into the hat and tell Christmas stories. It would be a marvelous work and a wonder.
Poster Hiding in Plain Sight added this historical note:
How about dressing up as Porter Rockwell who crashed the actual 1843 christmas party as the smith home, after being arrested for the attempted assassination of Governor Boggs.
Quote: On Christmas day, 1843, a large party assembled at the Prophet's home, spending the time in music and a social visit. During the festivities a man with long shaggy hair, apparently drunk, came in and was taken for a Missourian. A scuffle ensued and the Prophet beheld the stranger's face. To his great surprise and joy he recognized that this long-haired, disheveled man was his long-tried and true friend, Orrin Porter Rockwell. When the confusion ceased, Brother Rockwell related his experiences. Just one more tidbit. After Rockwell returned, Joseph let him set up a bar as a business in the prophet's home. Emma quickly shut down the enterprise.
* Poster Nibbler:
"What, they're even hijacking Christmas to find a way to bring JS back into the conversation. :(" [Note: "JS" = "Joseph Smith]
* Poster 20/20vision:
Smithmous is alive and well in your ward...you should have your daughter dress as Helen Kimball and you should go as the angel with a sword and follow Joseph around the gym. With the new essay out they should have all his spouses present.
* Poster TheRunningMom:
Maybe this was inspired by the term "Merry Smithmas?" Why did Joseph's birthday have to be so close to Christmas? It would be hilarious for a bunch of families to come as Joseph's family with name tags telling the relationship. This could also include the men he was sealed to through the law of adoption so no man will be left behind. :lol: Bonus points if people are the same ages as the people they are representing.
* Poster HappyJackWagon, responding to what TheRunningMom wrote, added:
"This could also be a fun youth game. You know, a kind of 'get to know you' mix and mingle. For fun the bishop could act as Joseph and the Mia Maids and Laurels could see what it's like to be a teen bride. Wait, I'm kind of creeping myself out. Sorry."
* Poster glass shelf added:
I am just blown away by the fact that no one in WC said, 'Hey, do you think we should focus on Christ a little more since it is Christmas?' or if they did they were totally voted down.
* Poster Margesimpson asked:
I lol'd! So crazy! What ever happened to Bethlehem themed Christmas celebrations?
* Poster amimormon added:
Dress up as Jesus with a big sign around your neck that reads "Christmas, not Smithmas".
* Poster what'snext thoughtfully added:
On my journey I see more and more the things I would have looked over before. A Joseph and Emma Christmas!? What fun! That would've been my responce. I must have had mind freeze all those years. Embarrassing. Everyone is celebrating Christmas in the protestant world and one or more of our wards is celebrating the Smith family.
* Poster SBClosetMom contributed this humorous note:
"You should send this email, from an anonymous address, to your bishop."
"Dear Bishop,"
"I just received the invitation to the ward Christmas party and I am really looking forward to it. I am so grateful that FINALLY, someone gets it. I get so tired of everyone talking about Jesus this time of year, forgetting what we should really be celebrating: the most important man who ever walked the face of this earth, even Joseph Smith, the prophet of the restoration. Here is one of my favorite quotes from church history that explains my feelings much more eloquently than I ever could:"
"Quote:"
"'...I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet . . . ' Joseph Smith (History of the Church, vol. 6, p. 408-409)."
"See you at the party."
"Sincerely,"
"Molly"
* Poster wtfluff mentioned:
Show up in "period clothing" with a shovel, and a "Urim and Thummim" (rock / seer-stone.) Tell everyone you're gonna go look for buried treasure (like Joseph's first "profession") and if you find the buried treasure, you'll give it to Baby-Jesus as a "Smith-mas" gift...
I'd like to show up with my favorite hat and peep stone ... but nobody's invited me!
See UPDATE on the Merry Smithmas Party [Note: Calling it the 'Merry Smithmas Party' is this Mormon's thread headline -- not mine]
ZelphlessNOM wrote:
Hey All -
Just thought I'd update you all on the joyous Smithmas party we had. :mrgreen:
If you missed the first thread - here it is:
http://forum.newordermormon.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=40595
Indeed, the Saturday Smithmas Celebration for 2015 did not disappoint! HAHA - They had the gym fully decked out with Smithmas decorations - seriously - pictures of Joe as well as quotes around the entire gym! They had at least 100 (probably more, I lost count) 8.5x11 sheets of printer paper with historical facts and milestones on all 4 walls of the gym - such as Joseph Smith bought the first parcel of land for Nauvoo on 18xx... Not a peep on any of the papers about polygamy! All of the classrooms on each side of the gym were converted into Nauvoo period stores, workshops, etc and in each room they had activities for ward members that were kinda cool - like cookie decorating in the bakery.
After the Bishop and others reenacted and shared scenes from a very whitewashed Christmas gathering in the mansion house in Nauvoo, the primary did a brief Luke 2 Nativity scene where they showed baby Jesus etc. But, it did seem very overshadowed with the focus of the night being on the half truths of the Joseph and Emma Smith family agenda. It just feels so dishonest to recreate the Nauvoo period and skip so many important details. The revisionist history is alive and well in the LDS church!
Alas, 'twas too late!
(See update in post #4...party already took place!)
Alas, 'twas too late! ... party already took place!
It's probably the best for my own good. Never knowing where to stop, I probably would have gone whole hog by dressing up in a fancy 6-star general suit with epaulets, knee boots and a plumed hat ... waving a sword ... and proclaiming that I was greater than Jesus.
Joseph did that once in Nauvoo and we all know how that turned out ... less than one month later.
“Smithmas”: BAH HUMBUG!
Yeah...re: that "less than one month later" citation...kind of reminded me of that recent YouTube clip going around where a robber of a Church is being chased in his vehicle -- and is -- astoundedly...struck by lightning:
Man Gets Struck By Lightning During High Speed Chase After Robbing a Church
Attempt to rob a church, and a lightning bolt may immediately await you!
Attempt to rob Jesus of His glory, and look at what awaited Joseph Smith as he went out with loaded guns blazing!
Merry Christmas to REAL Christians. It's not the time of year for this type of foul slander and hate.
“It’s not the time of year for this type of foul slander and hate.”
There is not any time of year for it.
Can you imagine individuals of sound mental health, with normal family and church obligations and participation, jobs, taking so much time for these obsessive sorts of efforts?
I just KNEW this Mormozon thing was FAKE when I saw the checkout CART!!!
Why can't the Whores of Babylon EVER get it right??
--MormonDude(I may not know much about my chosen religion; but it sure is FUN!)
Long time no see, Jim!
How's your one note symphony coming?
http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/by:jimt/index?tab=comments;brevity=full;options=no-change
Now then; search for HATE...
When WOULD be a good time??
I see that YOU still have the old memo!
|
Office of First President & Living Prophet®: December 11st, 2011
URGENT!
|
December 1...To All Employees
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free to sing-along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours,
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
December 2...To All Employees
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from now on we’re calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
December 3...To All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that reads “AA Only” you won’t be anonymous any more.
In addition, we’ll no longer be having a gift exchange because union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
December 7...To All Employees
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table.
Happy now?
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
December 9...To All Employees
People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for “Santa” does happen to be “Satan.” There is no evil connation to our own little “man in a red suit.”
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
December 10...To All Employees
Vegetarians! I’ve had it with you people. We’re holding this party at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit at the table farthest from the “Grill of Death” as you call it, and you’ll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Gentile from Hell!!!
December 14...To All Employees
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
What 'list' would that be?
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