I realize that it can be difficult to see the truth when you have been immersed. I have seen it alot and many times in my lifetime. I have the advantage of being able to look from the outside in. In my experienced opinion, your situation is no different.
Again, this is why atheists exist. Because flawed humans improvise and embellish on something simple. They do this for personal gain and other motivations. IMO, this is the worst and most evil aspect of religions because they turn people away from the truth and give nonbelievers reason to not believe.
Christ's word and gift are pure, the message is pure, it is the messengers who are corrupted.
May the best of God’s blessings be with you and yours in the New Year.